# What is the strangest thing you've ever had come out of your ass? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 29, 2001, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851 "2001-11-29T03:47:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ferggie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Ferggie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferggie)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/61 "2001-12-05T08:42:42Z")
Ocassionally, somehow I’ll swallow a strand of my foot-long hair. The scary part is that they come out intact. Why doesn’t my hair get digested? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/62 "2001-12-06T08:33:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferggie \* > \*\*Ocassionally, somehow I’ll swallow a strand of my foot-long hair. The scary part is that they come out intact. Why doesn’t my hair get digested? \*\* No one’s hair gets digested. Cecil explained about [beozars](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_104.html). ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/63 "2001-12-06T09:12:12Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mudshark \* > How can you not find poop funny? \*\* Indeed, my friend. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/64 "2001-12-06T16:02:10Z")
Dangit, I just remembered something else. I think I may have mentioned this on another poop thread butt it was a very traumatic moment. Cut to 6th grade. Boy’s elementary school bathroom. Tile walls. Tile floors. Probably tile ceiling and mirrors. Very reflective of the tiniest sound. I had the poops. It’s what we called them back then. I had to go. Really really bad. Unfortunately, the closer I got to the stall the worse my situation became until, about 5 feet away, I knew I couldn’t make it and just had to cross my legs. Anything to keep from shitting my pants. So I’m standing there like a juvenile pretzel waiting for the gas attack to pass so I can regain the use of my legs. Only it doesn’t pass. I start to feel the presence of an escapee. I’m squeezing my young butt checks with all my might but a fart bubble is about to overpower me. Blam! This loud, single clap of stink comes out. Blam! There’s another. Blam! One Mississippi, two Mississippi… Blam! Three Mississippi, four Mississippi… Blam! I have to cover my ears as these slow explosions turn the bathroom into a gun range. It was like I was shooting a fart revolver in an echo chamber and I couldn’t even step into a booth to hide my shame. About this time Ms. Hattie looks in to see what all the rucus is about. That did it. I leaned over towards the stall and dragging my useless legs behind me pulled my ridgid body in. And locked the door. For a very long time. F\*cking cafeteria food. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851.md?page=3)