# What is the tamest sexual request you've had rejected by a partner? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 16, 2006, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952 "2006-08-16T15:11:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/21 "2006-08-17T00:58:49Z")
[QUOTE=Amaranta] everytime it was lights off. I mean, we showered together and stuff, it’s not like he had some hideous deformity he was trying to hide, or didn’t want to see me naked or anything. And he rejected every sexual request I had. That relationship didn’t last long. [/QUOTE] [dons unlicensed shrink hat] Perhaps he had become conditioned to doing it in the dark only; maybe a prolonged period during adolescence of having to hide from the parents and thus came to associate dark with arousal. [/quackery] ---
**Author:** ![starfishfillet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c2a13f/32.png) [@starfishfillet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/starfishfillet)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/22 "2006-08-17T01:58:48Z")
The boy I’m seeing now (well, he’s not a boy, he’s 40 y.o.) doesn’t like using his MOUTH. He’s a bit of a germaphobe but, in the year we’ve been dating, he’s been getting worse. I have to ask him to kiss me on the mouth, even after we’ve both brushed our teeth. I never get tongue. I barely get oral. I really like him otherwise but I don’t think this is going to last… honestly I miss the kissing more than I do the oral sex… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/23 "2006-08-17T02:16:08Z")
[QUOTE=Shoshana] Well, the tamest sexual request I’ve had rejected is, “Are you interested?” [/QUOTE] Heck, at least you got the whole question out! He: “Wanna…” She: “No.” ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/24 "2006-08-17T02:28:17Z")
One of my exes couldn’t be spontaneous. Home alone, blinds drawn, wanna do it on the sofa? No - he was scared to death that someone would be _peeking_ in on us through the blinds. Even though the living room was situated behind a porch, with blinds inside the living room, and blinds on the porch. All closed. The house was on a hill. In the middle of nowhere. Even when we were _upstairs_, with nothing out the windows but miles of forest, tall, tall trees… he would _tack the blinds against the wall_. You know, so no one could peek. So… no sex on the sofa. Or _anywhere_ else. _Always_ in the bed. With the blinds tacked closed. Y-A-W-N. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/25 "2006-08-17T02:37:27Z")
I have some creams that increase sensitivity down there. I wanted to use them on me one time, and the guy completely freaked out about it. Which struck me as rather odd, seeing as he was normally up for pretty much anything. We had the type of sex that would leave me with marks lasting for days, but he was afraid of a little cream. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/26 "2006-08-17T02:40:59Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] Heck, at least you got the whole question out! He: “Wanna…” She: “No.” [/QUOTE] Heck, at least you got a WORD out! She: “I just want to cuddle.” ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/27 "2006-08-17T02:46:02Z")
[QUOTE=kunilou] Heck, at least you got a WORD out! She: “I just want to cuddle.” [/QUOTE] Hmm…I was gonna say that I often can’t get a guy to “just cuddle” 🙂 Really, I must just be THAT HAWT!! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/28 "2006-08-17T04:44:08Z")
[QUOTE=simster] Well, depending on the order of events, one could understand why! [/QUOTE] Cue Randal Graves in Clerks II: “Seventeen year olds nowadays are crazy. They’re up for anything. They even like it when you go ass to mouth.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/29 "2006-08-17T05:55:26Z")
[QUOTE=starfishfillet] The boy I’m seeing now (well, he’s not a boy, he’s 40 y.o.) doesn’t like using his MOUTH. He’s a bit of a germaphobe but, in the year we’ve been dating, he’s been getting worse. I have to ask him to kiss me on the mouth, even after we’ve both brushed our teeth. I never get tongue. I barely get oral. I really like him otherwise but I don’t think this is going to last… honestly I miss the kissing more than I do the oral sex… ☹ [/QUOTE] I do too. I don’t know where we stand. Is she just disgusted with mouths in general, my mouth, maybe? Is her love committed to another (possibility)? I want to kiss her so passionately but she is totally unresponsive to my mouth, or hung up, I don’t know which. It makes for an unnatural fuck. Hard to get into it. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/30 "2006-08-17T06:04:34Z")
Her: “If I’m asleep when you’re done, would you pull my nightie back down?” Me: “Sure!” I keed, I keed…you know I keed! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/31 "2006-08-17T06:50:04Z")
Not so much a tame request but… Pal of mine was going at it hammer and tongs when wife Debbie says “Glynn did you pay the electric bill?” They are now divorced. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/32 "2006-08-17T07:08:41Z")
“Ah, come on! You know he’s old and won’t bite. You love this guy!” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2006, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/33 "2006-08-17T07:16:09Z")
My first lover, american, was one of those guys who think every woman is the “virginal whore” or something. Plus apparently a lot of people in the US think of BJ’s as “not sex”, while us Hispanics view them as “advanced materials” (2nd wedding anniversary gift to the husband advanced, ok?). So, he asked me to give him a BJ and I said “ok, but I’ve never done it so let me know how I’m doing, please”. He got willied out. I’m still trying to understand it. As per my first paragraph I’ve assigned part of it to cultural differences, but there’s also the fact that this guy was an idiot; I assume that accounts for the rest. Another request I’ve had rejected many times: “your condom or mine?” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/34 "2006-08-18T05:42:25Z")
1. Kissing. Apart from the one dude who had issues with it due to a history of abuse, I don’t get “no kissing.” 2. Showering. I’ve been through this on the board, but it’s so mild and so random that, failing uncooperative plumbing, I do not get why someone would flat-out refuse to shower with me. As I said in the other thread, “you just had your tongue up my ass, and now you won’t soap my back?” ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/35 "2006-08-18T12:43:16Z")
Heh. My entire life is just one rejected tame sexual request after another. I should have somebody write a theme song for me about it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/36 "2006-08-18T13:09:14Z")
“Show me how you like to be touched.” I wanted her to put her fingers over mine and guide me, or for her to touch herself and I’d feel what she was doing. It’s one of the things I do early on in a relationship to fine-tune my technique to that woman. It was dark, lights out, she was already turned on. But, she got all embarrassed, wouldn’t get her hand anywhere near her crotch, wouldn’t guide me at all. She liked bondage, sometimes requested blindfolds, got me hard and eventually blew me in a plane, went crazy and came like a freight train if I put a finger up her butt while I was in her, yet she got all squicked by walking me through a little finger action. One girl wouldn’t let me kiss her belly. Another got ticklish to the point of stopping sex if I ran a hand up her side. Yet another always had to pull her hair back before doing anything more intense than light kissing. Chicks are weird. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/37 "2006-08-18T13:29:35Z")
[QUOTE=Sleel] “Show me how you like to be touched.” I wanted her to put her fingers over mine and guide me, or for her to touch herself and I’d feel what she was doing. It’s one of the things I do early on in a relationship to fine-tune my technique to that woman. It was dark, lights out, she was already turned on. But, she got all embarrassed, wouldn’t get her hand anywhere near her crotch, wouldn’t guide me at all. She liked bondage, sometimes requested blindfolds, got me hard and eventually blew me in a plane, went crazy and came like a freight train if I put a finger up her butt while I was in her, yet she got all squicked by walking me through a little finger action… [/QUOTE] Y’know, I used to be like this. It may be, believe or not, that she had no idea of what “finger action” to do. I don’t. I know what feels good when I feel it, and I’m likely to say “Ooh! Yeah! That’s good, more of that!” or “Mmmmm, nice! Yummy…” but I couldn’t show you what it was. When I masturbate, I don’t use my fingers. Does nothin’ for me - it’s like trying to tickle myself. I’ve learned, however, that touching myself actually turns many men on, so I’ve learned to sort of grope around blindly to get them all worked up, then they take over so I can get worked up too. :rolleyes: My tamest rejection is just a repeat: a guy who didn’t like getting head. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/38 "2006-08-18T13:45:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Not so much a tame request but… > > Pal of mine was going at it _ **hammer and tongs** _ when wife Debbie says “Glynn did you pay the electric bill?” > > They are now divorced. Hammer and Tongs doesn’t sound very vanilla to me! Which one had the tongs? ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/39 "2006-08-18T14:35:42Z")
[QUOTE=pseudotriton ruber ruber] You don’t like oral sex? "Everybody doesn’t like something, but NOBODY doesn’t like getting head. " [/QUOTE] /raises hand I don’t like it either. It doesn’t gross me out or anything, but it just doesn’t do anything for me at all. Even when it’s done right. Other than that, I dated someone once who wouldn’t have sex in a bed - any bed - because he felt that it was wrong. Apparently he had a moral objection to sex in beds - but he’d have sex on the floor, up against walls, on the couch (unless it was a sofabed). Weird. ---
**Author:** ![Wnabtokio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Wnabtokio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wnabtokio)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952/40 "2006-08-18T15:22:13Z")
[QUOTE=The Why Bird] another vote for ‘I don’t like this’. And yes I’ve tried it. And yes I’ve had it done right. I wouldn’t call it gross, but I don’t want it either [/QUOTE] I’m the same way. It doesn’t upset me, but it doesn’t really do anything for me either. I guess I’d put up with it if I had too, but there’s only so much putting up with you should have to do in a sexual relationship. I do like the opposite though. Very much. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-tamest-sexual-request-youve-had-rejected-by-a-partner/368952.md?page=3)