# What is the upside of being a henchman? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 9, 2006, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117 "2006-06-09T20:40:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/21 "2006-06-10T19:52:24Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > **What is the upside of being a henchman?** Your hench is yours to keep! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/22 "2006-06-11T00:42:12Z")
Here is a Cobra Viper’s Filecard. [http://www.yojoe.com/filecard/86/viper.shtml](http://www.yojoe.com/filecard/86/viper.shtml) Cobra’s footsoldiers are pretty much henchmen. The motives ascribed to them seem to fit. ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/23 "2006-06-11T01:20:53Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > There’s a scene in “The spy who shagged me” where Austin Powers kills a typical evil henchman. You know, the average James Bond-shoves-the-henchman-he falls in-the-water-below-and-gets-his-head-bitten-off-by-an-oversized-shark-five second movie scene. > > The movie’s next shot is a friendly neighbourhood British pub. We see a cheerful crowd of friends and family. They’re waiting for Brian to turn up, as he is getting married next week and they’re throwing him a surprise party. They’re waiting for Brian to get back from his job; apparently he got called away suddenly. There’s jokes, camaderie, Brians little nieces running around, etc. > Then a phone rings. Brians’ dad answers it. He turns white as a sheet. All fall silent and look at him anxiously. Brian’s dad puts the phone down. His hands are shaking. “Brian got his head bitten off by a shark”, he says. > 😃 Are you sure this was Austin Powers? I have no memory of this scene whatsoever. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/24 "2006-06-11T02:06:19Z")
In the real world, who were the types of guys hired to beat up union organizers in the early part of the 20th Century? How did you get in to that line of work? ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/25 "2006-06-11T07:47:43Z")
> [@BobT](#): > > In the real world, who were the types of guys hired to beat up union organizers in the early part of the 20th Century? Wal-Mart managers? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/26 "2006-06-11T08:09:04Z")
> [@Rysto](#): > > Are you sure this was Austin Powers? I have no memory of this scene whatsoever. It’s a deleted scene. Check the DVD. Anyway, “henchman” is just another word for “mercenary,” and up until the 18th century, “mercenary” was just another word for “professional soldier.” Look at medieval/early modern European history - most wars were carried out by groups of knights and lordlings leading companies of “henchmen”. They fought for a roof over their head, food on their table and the occasional chance of plunder. And beside, fighting was what they knew how to do. It’s better to burn down a village than to have your village burned down. Civilians are suckers. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/27 "2006-06-11T16:09:47Z")
> [@BobT](#): > > In the real world, who were the types of guys hired to beat up union organizers in the early part of the 20th Century? How did you get in to that line of work? The Pinkerton Detectives did a lot of that. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinkerton\_National\_Detective\_Agency](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinkerton_National_Detective_Agency) ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/28 "2006-06-11T16:37:46Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > It’s a deleted scene. Check the DVD. I don’t know which is scarier, the fact that I laughed my ass off just reading about this scene or the fact that someone actually liked this movie enough to get the DVD and _surf the extras!!_ One thing to consider is that a lot of these guys might be ex-military or government intel branch that have been RIF’d. A few James Bond henchmen extras strike me as ex-Spetznast or ex-KGB, but I got an especially ex-military vibe from the cannon fodder in **The Incredibles**. Their overall manner and bearing just struck me as having been fostered in that kind of environment. Well, consider the situation. For fifteen, twenty years or so, you’ve been in the special forces or rangers at the top of your game. You get to fly to exotic locales to train, you get to learn how to disassemble and reassemble everything from an M-16 to a nuclear warhead, and suddenly, thanks to army cutbacks, you’re out on your ass, and the only thing you’re qualified to do in the civilian world is be a cop (long waiting list) or a manager in your local Wal-mart (Yawn). One day, you find yourself considering you options, thinking about shipping out to France to join the Foreign Legion just for something to do, when in walks the supreme evil commander’s friendly representative and asks if you would like a job using your special talents for ten times the salary you _ever_ saw as a ranger. I think it would be pretty easy to talk yourself out of any morale qualms you might have, especially if you don’t know what you’re getting into. By the time you _do_ know what you’re getting into, of course, it’s far too late to back out. ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/29 "2006-06-11T16:52:10Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Here is a Cobra Viper’s Filecard. > > [http://www.yojoe.com/filecard/86/viper.shtml](http://www.yojoe.com/filecard/86/viper.shtml) > > Cobra’s footsoldiers are pretty much henchmen. > The motives ascribed to them seem to fit. That filecard reminded me of a ficlet I saw posted on a Daria messageboard. Here is a link, posted with the permission of the author: [It’s a Living](http://home.comcast.net/~Ranchoth/Its_a_living.html) Can any of us say where we might _really_ end up after graduation? Evil Leaders need PR flacks, too. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/30 "2006-06-11T18:28:52Z")
> [@AtomicDog](#): > > That filecard reminded me of a ficlet I saw posted on a Daria messageboard. Here is a link, posted with the permission of the author: > > [It’s a Living](http://home.comcast.net/~Ranchoth/Its_a_living.html) > Can any of us say where we might _really_ end up after graduation? > > Evil Leaders need PR flacks, too. BRAVO! BRAVO! \ Please send my warmest complements to the author! Grade A! ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/31 "2006-06-11T19:03:57Z")
When the organization/crimeboss they work for has an ideology beyond ‘I get power and money!’ - more Kobra than Cobra - there’s also the fact that a lot (though, in a large organization, probably not all) of the henchies actually believe it. In small organizations, the henchmen might have a personal relationship/loyalty to the leader. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/32 "2006-06-11T20:45:49Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > BRAVO! BRAVO! > \ > > Please send my warmest complements to the author! > > Grade A! Danke. 🙂 Remind me to link to the sequel, some time, if y’all’re interested. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/33 "2006-06-11T20:56:29Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Danke. 🙂 > > Remind me to link to the sequel, some time, if y’all’re interested. I’M INTRESTED, ALREADY!!! So, link? ;j ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/34 "2006-06-11T22:16:19Z")
[By your command.](http://home.comcast.net/~Ranchoth/Janissaries.html) ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/35 "2006-06-12T01:27:12Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > The only obvious benefit would be the pay, but how much pay would be sufficient to make it worth enduring the other conditions of employment? When would you even get a chance to spend any of it? Feh! What do those lunkheads need money for? They’re just going to die on the end of some adventurer’s sword anyway. –Xykon ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/36 "2006-06-12T10:49:10Z")
I suppose it’s possible that at least some of the henchmen may sincerely believe that they are the good guys (I’m sure SOMEONE here other than me has seen the Street Fighter movie :D) They could also have personal issues with the World (or specifically, the Hero’s government), ala 006 in Goldeneye. Otherwise, as others have said, it’s possible that many of them just didn’t know what they were signing up for until it was too late (ie: let’s say you joined the Army and did a stint as an MP, but as your first enlistment was coming to an end, someone approached you with this sweet offer for a corporate security job…) ---
**Author:** ![Dubious\_Weasle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b782af/32.png) [@Dubious\_Weasle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dubious_Weasle)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/37 "2006-06-12T12:03:00Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > [By your command.](http://home.comcast.net/~Ranchoth/Janissaries.html) Great stuff! Is there more? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/38 "2006-06-12T12:50:42Z")
The one thing I’m still trying to understand is why are there male Americans still left to work at McD. With so many working as henchmen, you’d think the legal side of the sucky jobs would have been overrun by women already. ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/39 "2006-06-12T14:18:06Z")
One of my favorite scenes is from the 1966 Batman movie. The villans are in a submarine, with Joker, Penguin and Catwoman looking through their periscope(s) at Batman on the surface. They are laughing and chortling at his predicament, when all of a sudden, Catwoman lets out this long, drawn out “Meeeoooowwwwwraorrrowwwrrrr!”, while a henchman slowly turns to stare at her like she has gone out of her freakin’ _mind!_ I wait for that scene every time the movie comes on TV. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117/40 "2006-06-12T14:59:40Z")
Well, speaking as a professional henchman, one of the drawbacks is having to stuff a smelly drunk in the trunk of the car. That was the scene that we filmed yesterday for the movie I’m in. I play Evil Henchman #1. [Shameless plug.](http://www.dirtybumproductions.com/) The movie will be out in September. Buy many copies of it, please. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-upside-of-being-a-henchman/360117.md?page=3)