# What is the whiniest song ever? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 24, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342 "2001-03-24T20:10:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/1 "2001-03-24T20:10:36Z")
The undisputed champeen IMO is The Violent Femmes’ _Please Do Not Go_. I love it, but sometimes I’m embarrassed to play it when other people are around, just because it’s so damned pathetic, and I don’t want them to know (Think! I meant _think_! mutter mutter mutter) that I am too. Pearl Jam’s _Black_ and The Cure’s _Pictures Of You_ are others. What other songs are good for nothing except a really solid self-pity session? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/2 "2001-03-24T20:52:25Z")
Well, okay. But don’t tell anyone I said this. _Lay me Down and Roll Me Out to Sea_ by Barry Manilow. _Got dust on my piano and dishes in the sink. Your side of the bed is cold. I haven’t slept a wink. So I read your goodbye letter To the face inside my drink. Lay me down and roll me out to see._ And then it just gets worse, but I’ll spare ya. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/3 "2001-03-24T20:52:37Z")
Well, okay. But don’t tell anyone I said this. _Lay me Down and Roll Me Out to Sea_ by Barry Manilow. _Got dust on my piano and dishes in the sink. Your side of the bed is cold. I haven’t slept a wink. So I read your goodbye letter To the face inside my drink. Lay me down and roll me out to sea._ And then it just gets worse, but I’ll spare ya. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/4 "2001-03-24T20:54:17Z")
Crap. Just the mere confession of my dirty secret got me so flustered I posted twice. See what I go through for you, **Joe\_Cool**? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2001, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/5 "2001-03-24T21:38:50Z")
Well, I COULD list wimpy “she broke my heart” love songs, but that wouldn’t be fair. Truth is, ALL of us get weepy and depressed when dumped by someone we loved. When I was newly divorced, I listened to whiny Roy Orbison songs over and over. So… knowing how much breakups hurt, I’m inclined to forgive whiny songs about how “my baby left me.” However… I will NEVER forgive wussies like Jackson Browne, who write whiny songs about how sad and lonely it is being a rock star! EVERY song on “Running on Empty” is sickeningly self-pitying… “Oh, it’s miserable playing songs in front of 20,000 screaming fans who shelled out $35 to see my show…” During that entire, pathetic album, I never felt sorry for Jackson BRowne. I DID feel sorry for the poor kids in the audience who worked at McDOnald’s for minimum wage, to make the money to go to his concert, and listen to him bellyache about how rough a millionaire’s life is. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2001, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/6 "2001-03-24T22:13:44Z")
“I’ve been to paradise … but I’ve never been to me” Pardon me while I puke my guts out heartily now. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2001, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/7 "2001-03-24T22:18:34Z")
Oh I never thought of the Jackson Browne song quite like that. I could always relate to it. I don’t think he’s whining…he seems to embrace the rock star lifestyle. I guess at times I think it’s a bit pretentious, but mostly, I find it kind of…I don’t know, romantic. Just my spin. Songs I truly find whiny? Er, that song, what’s it called…“Why Does It Always Rain on Me?”- by Travis, I believe. It’s not that the lyrics are bad, just the way the lead singer vocalizes sort of prevents me from really liking it. In the case of this song, whine factor is not good. I’ll think of some others later. Wait before I go. “You Ought to Know.” ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/8 "2001-03-24T22:59:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astorian \* > **Well, I COULD list wimpy “she broke my heart” love songs, but that wouldn’t be fair. Truth is, ALL of us get weepy and depressed when dumped by someone we loved. When I was newly divorced, I listened to whiny Roy Orbison songs over and over. So… knowing how much breakups hurt, I’m inclined to forgive whiny songs about how "my baby left me."** I guess I was unclear…I’m not against or above sitting in a dark room listening to whiny music. I’ve done it plenty of times. I enjoy, in a sick sort of way, savoring a rotten mood. 🙂 > [@](#): > > \*\*However… I will NEVER forgive wussies like Jackson Browne, who write whiny songs about how sad and lonely it is being a rock star!..I DID feel sorry for the poor kids in the audience who worked at McDOnald’s for minimum wage, to make the money to go to his concert, and listen to him bellyache about how rough a millionaire’s life is. \*\* I agree with you on this. Poor Kurt Cobain…couldn’t handle being famous and successful and rich. Waah. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/9 "2001-03-24T23:01:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*See what I go through for you, **Joe\_Cool**? 🙂 \*\* And thank you! I’ve never had a double post just for me before. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/10 "2001-03-25T00:51:10Z")
_How Will I Live Without You?_ (aka "The Co-dependency Song). Also, the aptly-titled _Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me_. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/11 "2001-03-25T01:27:45Z")
What about that “Eve of Destruction” by Barry somebody? He gets pretty whiney in it. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/12 "2001-03-25T01:39:49Z")
The Politics of Dancing. _And I’m never going to dance again The way I danced with you Since Dr\_Pap sawed my legs off with a chisel_ ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/13 "2001-03-25T01:46:49Z")
The tastily seasoned good doctor’s little ditty reminded me of Flagpole Sitta in which the singer whines incessently about being crazy. And being dumped. I really like it, though. ---
**Author:** ![YWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/6f9a4e/32.png) [@YWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YWalker)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/14 "2001-03-25T02:03:00Z")
It’s gotta be “At 17” by Janice Ian. Aaarrrgh! ---
**Author:** ![Mofo\_Rising](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mofo\_Rising](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mofo_Rising)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/15 "2001-03-25T02:08:57Z")
I don’t know, but every song on Stabbing Westward’s “Wither, Blister, Burn + Peel” is about some loser pining away for some girl. Great album, but if I ever start whining like that give me a good kick in the head. ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/16 "2001-03-25T03:03:45Z")
Goodness, and we still haven’t gotten to **Morrissey** yet? \*i’ve come to wish you an unhappy birthday because you’re evil and you lie and if you should die i may feel slightly sad (but i won’t cry) love and lost some people say when usually its nothing surely you’re happy it should be this way? i said, “no” and then i shot myself so, drink, drink, drink and be ill tonight from the one you left behind\* ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/17 "2001-03-25T03:18:00Z")
_Honey_ by **Bobby Goldsboro**. I win. A small sample? Sure: > [@](#): > > **See the tree, how big it’s grown but friend it hasn’t been too long it wasn’t big > I laughed at her and she got mad, the first day that she planted, it, was just a twig > Then the first snow came and she ran out to brush the snow away > So it wouldn’t die > Came runnin’ in all excited, slipped and almost hurt herself > And I laughed till I cried** > _© '68 Bibo Music_ Yeah, Bob. We’re laughing alright. Sheesh. 'Scuse me while I go make a call on the Great White Telephone. ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/18 "2001-03-25T04:37:30Z")
- …would somebody kill me please? \* - somebody kill me pleeeaaasee? \* - I’m on my kneees, pretty pretty please, \* - kiiiiiiiillll me, \* - I wan’t to diiiieeeeeee,\* - put a bullet in my heeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaadd! \* ---
**Author:** ![dodge\_this](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@dodge\_this](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dodge_this)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/19 "2001-03-25T04:56:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by YWalker \* > \*\*It’s gotta be “At 17” by Janice Ian. > > Aaarrrgh! \*\* I second that ‘Aaaaargh!’ ‘Last Christmas’ by Wham! also comes to mind. Mostly because they play it ad nauseum come Christmas. EVERY year. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2001, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/20 "2001-03-25T08:45:51Z")
Didn’t Jermaine, Frito or one of the other unter-Jacksons make a song that basically boiled down to: If you died in your sleep (“received your calling” was the term I believe he used), it would be a real downer for me, so don’t do it. Gee, real romantic priorities, bub. –sublight. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342.md?page=2)