# What is the whiniest song ever? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 24, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342 "2001-03-24T20:10:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pegleg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b4bc9f/32.png) [@pegleg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pegleg)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2001, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/41 "2001-03-26T19:07:42Z")
I can’t believe no one has nominated Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks. Guaranteed to make me run to change the station. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2001, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/42 "2001-03-26T19:58:20Z")
Nazareth’s _Love Hurts_ is very hard to listen to. You’d need to rent out a Swiss Colony to come up with enough cheese to match THAT whine. ---
**Author:** ![BigStar303](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@BigStar303](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigStar303)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/43 "2001-03-26T21:22:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jackmannii \* > \*\*…I was lucky enough to mostly miss out on Henry Gross’ “Shannon” when it was a hit, but it still pops up on “Best Of A Rotten Decade” CD promotions on TV. If there is a God, Henry and all copies of his masterpiece will be sealed in a giant bottle and set drifting out to sea. \*\* I’ve never understood the contempt so many seem to have for this song. Maybe it comes down to whether you like Beach Boys harmonies or not (I love 'em myself). FWIW, Gross comes by them honestly, as he toured with The Beach Boys for a time and became close friends with Carl Wilson. Further, the sentiments expressed in the song are real. Carl really did have a beloved Irish setter named Shannon that died, and, in an amazing coincidence, Gross had had one with the same name prior to that. The full story can be found at [www.henrygross.com](http://www.henrygross.com). I’m not a particularly big dog lover, but I suspect it’s just possible that one could be emotionally affected by the death of a pet who’s been a part of your life for a long time – maybe so much for that you’d even write a song about it. ---
**Author:** ![BigStar303](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@BigStar303](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigStar303)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2001, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/44 "2001-03-26T21:33:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bordelond \* > \*\*Nazareth’s _Love Hurts_ is very hard to listen to. You’d need to rent out a Swiss Colony to come up with enough cheese to match THAT whine. \*\* The fault is with the performance (which I agree is horrid), not the song – which is actually very sophisticated musically and lyrically given the time of its composition (early 60s). Roy Orbison and the Everly Brothers were the first to record “Love Hurts,” but I’ve always found their performances to be rather stilted. Ironically, the best version ever of “Love Hurts” was by someone far better known for composing his own songs than covering others’: Jim Webb. ---
**Author:** ![BigStar303](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@BigStar303](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigStar303)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2001, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/45 "2001-03-26T21:43:56Z")
There’s absolutely no contest: “Hotel California” by The Eagles. Words fail me as I attempt to express my loathing for this song. The Eagles… all the money, all the drugs, all the booze, all the women, all the California sunshine, all the fame …anyone could possibly imagine. And what do they do? They whine about it…incessantly – for over five minutes in “Hotel California,” and in other songs as well. Poor, poor Eagles! It’s not just Henley’s chalk-on-blackboard vocals…it’s the ultra-dramatic minor key Spanish tragedy music. Surely there has never been a more overblown and bombastic pile of horseshit unleashed upon the music-listening public (which, predictably, lapped it up with enthusiasm). ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2001, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/46 "2001-03-26T23:36:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigStar303 \* > **I’ve never understood the contempt so many seem to have for this song. Maybe it comes down to whether you like Beach Boys harmonies or not (I love 'em myself). > FWIW, Gross comes by them honestly, as he toured with The Beach Boys for a time and became close friends with Carl Wilson.** If it was that good a song, why didn’t it make **Pet Sounds**? By the way, here’s a little-known fact: the Ram Jam classic “Black Betty” was actually about a _Labrador retriever_. ---
**Author:** ![ThreeLeggedBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ThreeLeggedBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThreeLeggedBob)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2001, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/47 "2001-03-27T01:05:04Z")
Some oldies: “Alone Again, Naturally” by Gilbert O’Sullivan and “All By Myself” by Eric Carmen If you don’t know them, the titles pretty much say it all. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2001, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/48 "2001-03-27T01:23:30Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by BigStar303_\*\* > FWIW, Gross comes by them honestly, as he toured with The Beach Boys for a time and became close friends with Carl Wilson. Further, the sentiments expressed in the song are real. Carl really did have a beloved Irish setter named Shannon that died, and, in an amazing coincidence, Gross had had one with the same name prior to that.\*\* That song was about a _ **dog** _? I always thought it was about some playmate who drowned. Geez. Morgyn _who is **NOT** looking forward to the first death-of-a-pet_ ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/49 "2001-03-27T01:39:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pegleg \* > \*\*I can’t believe no one has nominated Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks. Guaranteed to make me run to change the station. \*\* Dammit, **pegleg** , that was the first song that popped into my head when I saw the thread title, and you beat me to it. As far as I’m concerned, just about anything by Dave Matthews Band or Counting Crows or any of these other carbon-copy 90s “alternative” arena bands qualifies. And what about “Ben” by Michael Jackson? On a somewhat related topic, songs that make me actually want to kill myself include “Theme from Mahogany” by Diana Ross (“Do you know/where you’re going to” - nice grammar, too) and that friggin’ “Up up and away in my beautiful balloon” song. FTR, I always enjoyed Morrissey’s stuff as kitsch - it’s too funny to take seriously (not an insult; loved the Smiths). ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2001, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/50 "2001-03-27T02:07:39Z")
And in response to the OP (which I forgot): _You Light Up My Life_ (Debbie Boone); darn near made me barf the first time I heard it, and then the chorus class I was in insisted on singing it _ **every single damn day** _ _snarling_. That and _Evergreen_ by Barbra Streisand. For the same reason. I started out liking that song but grew to hate it from overexposure. Sometimes I think 8[sup]th[/sup]-grade girls shouldn’t be allowed near a radio. That includes me, since I (to my shame) liked _Run, Joey, Run_. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2001, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/51 "2001-03-27T03:29:55Z")
_I’d Be Better Off (In A Pine Box)_ - Doug Stone A master of the “she done up and left me” song. _I’d be better off, in a pine box On a slow train back to Georgia Or in the grey walls of a prison doin’ time. I think I’d rather die and go to hell and face the devil Than to lie here with you and him together on my mind._ ---
**Author:** ![shell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@shell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shell)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2001, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/52 "2001-03-27T07:53:10Z")
How about “You’re Cheatin’ Heart” (yall know it). Not only can he whine, but he can yodel at the same time! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2001, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342/53 "2001-03-27T13:04:18Z")
**Seasons in the Sun** by Terry Jack, which also has the dubious honoring of making every “Most Horrendous Song Ever Recorded” list. It’s a maudlin tune about a guy who has a terminal illness. “Goodbye Michelle, it’s hard to die. When all the birds are singing in the sky.” Am I the only one who envisions Michelle taking out a .22 and ending his (and subsequently _our_) misery? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-whiniest-song-ever/59342.md?page=2)