# What is the worst song you can think of to be played at a Wedding? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 17, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563 "2004-04-17T20:51:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/61 "2004-04-19T02:37:23Z")
> [@Silver Serpentine](#): > > …Toadies - Possum Kindgom > Song about killing a woman and freezing her, basically… Killing / Freezing? You make it sound so “_Richard Kuklinski-like_”. I’ve always understood it to be about a vampire who promises eternal life to his beloved. Erotic in a goth / fetish kinda way? Yeah, maybe. A good “worst song @ a wedding”? Possibly - Especially given the fact it’ll be performed by a wedding band. I’ll nominate John Prine’s “_In Spite of Ourselves_” - but only if that wedding singer you hired has a female back-up singer who can do a decent Iris DeMent impersonation. > [@John Prine (Snipped)](#): > > …She don’t like her eggs all runny > She thinks crossin’ her legs is funny > She looks down her nose at money > She gets it on like the Easter Bunny… > > …He ain’t got laid in a month of Sundays > I caught him once and he was sniffin’ my undies > He ain’t too sharp but he gets things done > Drinks his beer like it’s oxygen… > > …She thinks all my jokes are corny > Convict movies make her horny > She likes ketchup on her scrambled eggs > Swears like a sailor when shaves her legs > She takes a lickin’ > And keeps on tickin’ > I’m never gonna let her go… > > …He’s got more balls than a big brass monkey > He’s a wacked out werido and a lovebug junkie > Sly as a fox and crazy as a loon > Payday comes and he’s howlin’ at the moon > He’s my baby I don’t mean maybe > Never gonna let him go… ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/62 "2004-04-19T02:43:42Z")
I think it would be highly inappropriate to play “Adultery” by the Mentors at a wedding. _I’m horny for a chick that wears a ring Because one-night stands are just a part of my thing Marriage means nothing to me I’m totally into adultery_ ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/63 "2004-04-19T02:44:36Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > …_The Kiss_ - The Cure The fact that these are songs that will be performed by a wedding band (as opposed to being spun by a DJ in a rented tux) makes “The Kiss” nomination even funnier. I could just see this Adam Sandler-like guy up in front of a 5 piece band singing “Get you fucking voice out of my haed, I wish you were dead” with accompanying saxaphone and trumpet. I don’t even think Richard Cheese could make a Cure cover version sound good. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/64 "2004-04-19T02:49:59Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Chopin’s _Funeral March._ > > I win. 😃 Some pipers report being asked to play “Amazing Grace” at weddings. Since it’s most commonly played at funerals, it seems an odd choice. “Clumsy Lover” is a good piping tune for when piping the couple to the head table, or when they leave for the evening - but don’t know how many people would get it! ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/65 "2004-04-19T03:08:49Z")
_Take me out to the ball game_ A complete nonsequitur. As Zippy the Pinhead used to say, “If you can’t say something nice, at least say something surreal.” ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/66 "2004-04-19T03:37:18Z")
_Fuck Her Gently_ - Tenacious D Actually, now that I think about it, I would love to play that song at my wedding…buy my parents would disown me. Also, _I Don’t Want You Back_ - Eamon > [@](#): > > Fuck what I said, it don’t mean shit now, > Fuck the presents, might as well throw them out, > Fuck all those kisses, they didn’t mean jack, > Fuck you you Ho, I don’t want you back. And then later, > [@](#): > > You thought you could keep this shit from me > You burn bitch, I heard the story, > You played me, you even gave him head. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![peri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/67e7ee/32.png) [@peri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peri)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/67 "2004-04-19T06:10:25Z")
_Processional_ **Super Freak** Rick James **Brick House** Ohio Players _Recessional_ **Walk this Way** Aerosmith _First dance_ **Strangers in the Night** ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/68 "2004-04-19T15:16:43Z")
A friend of mine is a church organist, and has gotten really, _really_ tired of playing Andrew Lloyd Weber’s _Pie Jesu_ at weddings at baptisms. He continually points out that this is **funeral** music, but nobody really seems to care. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/69 "2004-04-19T15:33:36Z")
> [@BigNik](#): > > I was at a wedding where the bride demanded that the groom enter to Pearl Jam’s _Better Man_ - he felt it was easier to go along with it than to explain. Oh man, I hate that song - waaaay too depressing. (For those who haven’t heard it, it’s about a woman who stays with a guy she loves because she thinks she can’t find better. Sample from the chorus: “She lies and says she’s in love with him / Can’t find a better man”) **Silver Serpentine** ’s mention of Cold’s “Stupid Girl” reminded me of the song by the same name from Garbage. How about “Every Breath You Take” by the Police? In an interview, Sting expressed his shock at how many people thought it was supposed to be a romantic song, when if you actually listen to the lyrics it’s talking about an obsession, or stalking behavior. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/70 "2004-04-19T15:51:20Z")
Keep it simple - the song for every occassion: **Highway To Hell** goes down a treat at funerals. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/71 "2004-04-19T15:55:16Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > Brave you are. I assume it will be played at the reception and not while you’re walking down the aisle! 😉 At the very least make sure that you don’t get smacked on the ass during the chorus. Good Lord - I hadn’t envisioned getting smacked in the ass :eek:! Thanks for the visual. I can just see myself, walking down the aisle as gracefully as I can manage in a gi-normous dress (it’s actually quite pretty, but definitely a hell of a lot larger than I’m used to), when all of a sudden someone out of the audience reaches over and slaps my ass so hard I fall over. Fortunately that won’t happen because, no, we’re not playing the song remotely near the time of the ceremony. I think that’ll be one of the songs we play when everyone’s already good & drunk. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/72 "2004-04-19T16:13:11Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > Keep it simple - the song for every occassion: > **Highway To Hell** > goes down a treat at funerals. That might actually become a trend at both modern weddings & funerals!😛 How about: _It’s Over_ by Loverboy _He can’t love you_ by The Michael Stanley Band _The Bitch is Back_ By Elton John ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/73 "2004-04-19T16:39:27Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > For those who haven’t heard it, it’s about a woman who stays with a guy she loves because she thinks she can’t find better. Dammit - that should have said “…stays with a guy she **doesn’t** love…” ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/74 "2004-04-19T17:03:51Z")
Well I don’t think this would go down very well Old 97 - Designs on You "Standing on the corner of 6th and How To Forget Trying to do right by you all night Annette You can go ahead and get married and this will be our secret thing I won’t tell a soul except the people in the nightclub where I sing I don’t want to get you all worked up Except secretly I do I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have designs on you " …especially if they had wedding singer… On the other hand I’d have to think lots of the stuff I’m planning to play at my wedding would be considered inappropriate…hey, some people might not think “I Wanna Be Your Dog” is a romantic sentimate, but some of us do :). And while we’re at it…I wouldn’t play “Fat Bottomed Girls” ‘cuz I don’t like Queen but…we _do_ make the rockin’ world go round, that’s one of the reasons he wants to marry me, so seems perfectly appropriate to me 🙂 🙂 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/75 "2004-04-19T17:12:34Z")
Either _Inna Godda Da Veda_, or \*Fat Boy Slim is fucking in heaven Fucking in heaven Fucking in heaven…[i/] ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/76 "2004-04-19T17:59:50Z")
I was making up some CD’s for the wedding of a pair of good friends of mine. I occasionally joked about putting Darth Vader’s theme on for the bride’s processional. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Fox\_Paws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/85e7bf/32.png) [@Fox\_Paws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_Paws)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/77 "2004-04-19T18:03:21Z")
“Friends,” by Michael W. Smith, was performed at the wedding of a couple I know. It struck me as a very, umm, odd choice. ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/78 "2004-04-19T19:53:34Z")
Actually heard at my brother-in-law’s wedding (apparently requested by the bride!): “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor: > [@](#): > > Go on now go > Walk out that door > Just turn around now > 'Cause you’re not welcome anymore What happened to the “dubious” smiley, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![benlormat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d26b3c/32.png) [@benlormat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/benlormat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/79 "2004-04-20T03:13:19Z")
I don’t know if I can name the _worst_. How about a few that are inappropriate? **Queen:** Who Needs You I’m in Love With My Car My Melancholy Blues **Jimmy Buffett** Jeff the Muff Diver The Asshole Song The Weather is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful Dickhead **Jeff Foxworthy** Itty Bitty Titties **AC/DC** Highway to Hell ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/80 "2004-04-20T03:58:33Z")
> [@avabeth](#): > > We’re actually playing this at the wedding:). We both love Weird Al (saw him in concert a couple of weeks ago), and at the concert, we realized that we HAD to have this song to dance to:). And our friends will enjoy it - they know we have black senses of humor. > > My grandparents and parents are going to sh\*t at the reception - I have a feeling the song list will put them all in therapy. hehehe… Hmmmmmmm, you sound like you could be a distant relative. My entire family has a sick sense of humor. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563.md?page=5)