# What is the worst song you can think of to be played at a Wedding? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 17, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563 "2004-04-17T20:51:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![LtningBug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/73ab20/32.png) [@LtningBug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LtningBug)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/81 "2004-04-20T06:34:04Z")
Hmm. Just about anything by The Police. Even better, though, _Last Dance with Mary Jane_ by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. And though I don’t listen to them, I suppose anything by the Insane Clown Posse is not good for a wedding (or any other occasion). ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/82 "2004-04-20T06:40:07Z")
MacArthur Park. Worst. Song. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/83 "2004-04-20T06:49:25Z")
Iwas actually at a wedding reception where the first song was “When A Man Loves A Woman.” I started laughing so hard I had to go outside. The pastor was out there and asked me what was up. He’s a friend, so I told him. He cracked up too! Hey, how about “Torn Between Two Lovers”?! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/84 "2004-04-20T06:51:08Z")
Ooh! Ooh! Forgot! Paul Anka. “Having My Baby”!!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![silkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@silkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silkie)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/85 "2004-04-20T08:02:26Z")
\*I think this Nick Lowe song would be nice I knew the bride \* Well take a look at the bridegroom, smilin’ pleased as pie, Shakin’ hands all around with a glassy look in his eye. He’s got a real good job and his shirt and tie is nice, But I remember a time when she never would have looked at him twice! I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll! I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll! ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/86 "2004-04-20T08:27:09Z")
How about some _real_ oldies, like: **Hey, Little Girl:** Steve Lawrence \*Hey, little girl, comb your hair, fix your makeup Soon, he’ll be there at the door. Don’t think because there’s a ring on your finger, You needn’t try any more. \* or older: **Standing On The Corner** _Standing 0n the corner, watchin’ all the girls go by._ still older: **Silver Threads Among The Gold** \*Darling, I am growing older, Silver threads among the gold. \* a lot older: **There’ll Be A Hot Time In The Old Town Tonight.** reeeeally old: **Death And Transfiguration** ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/87 "2004-04-20T09:53:24Z")
Am I the first person to suggest something religious? At Easter, my church choir sung an absolutely beautiful piece which some people in the choir have had sung at their weddings. Beautiful as it is, and well as they did it, if I am ever fortunate enough to marry, there’s no _way_ I will have it sung at mine for the sake of the friends of the bride and, with any luck, the groom. You see, my friends and I are very fond of double entendres, and have been known to pull off quadruples with full twists. If this were performed at any point during the wedding, at least half my friends would be trying not to burst out laughing and the second any two of them made eye contact, we’d be doomed and half the congregation would burst into laughter. The song? The title’s contained in the first line, and that should explain it to you: _Rise Up, My Love_ and come! It’s beautiful. It’s even romantic. Given the sense of humour my friends and I have, it’s also a disaster waiting to happen. :eek: 😃 CJ ---
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/88 "2004-04-20T10:38:44Z")
“Prayer to God” by Shellac comes to mind. It’s Albini cvalling on God to strike down his wife and the guy she cheated on him with in a manner of amusing ways: chorus: “Kill her, fucking kill her, I don’t care if it hurts yes, I do, I want it to, just kill her but first” etc, to a superharsh minimal guitar. As to what someone else said above, i’d play ‘Imperial March’ from The Empire strikes back’ as a brides processional. That would be…sweet. Or “Milk It” by Nirvana. heh. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/89 "2004-04-20T11:06:07Z")
My reception had Tainted Love, it was great. A bunch of us even sang along. No one took it seriously of course. Now for seriously bad wedding music: Love is a Fist, Squeeze Me Macaroni, Girls of Porn, or My Ass is on Fire, by Mr Bungle. Well, anything by Mr Bungle would be bad, but those would be the worst. Night Moves, Bob Seger Me and Mrs. Jones, Billy Paul One, Metallica Smooth Operator, Sade Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong, Spin Doctors ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Serpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@Silver\_Serpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Serpentine)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/90 "2004-04-20T11:43:49Z")
After some reading, it turns out that Possum Kingdom is about _drowning_ a woman, not freezing her. Make up your mind Decide to walk with me Around the lake tonight Around the lake tonight By my side By my side I’m not gonna lie I’ll not be a gentleman Behind the boathouse I’ll show you my dark secret ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/91 "2004-04-20T12:02:18Z")
I’ve always loved the idea of a bride coming down the aisle to “O Fortuna” from “Carmina Burana.” Or “Flight of the Valkyrie” (Apocalypse Now theme) by Wagner, or “Also Sprach Zarathustra” (the 2001 theme) by the other Wagner. Or the “Dies Irae” from Verdi’s Requiem (Dies irae means dreaded days, btw, for anyone who’s not up on their Latin). For a really jolly note at the reception, how about Samual Barber’s “Adagio for Strings”, or its choral version, “Agnus Dei?” ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/92 "2004-04-20T15:15:28Z")
> [@AvhHines](#): > > “Also Sprach Zarathustra” (the 2001 theme) by the other Wagner. [nitpick]“Also sprach Zarathustra” is by Richard Strauss, and “dies irae” means “days of wrath” not “dreaded days”[/nitpick] As an additional suggestion, how about 4’33" from John Cage? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/93 "2004-04-20T18:42:08Z")
…how about "[Good Enough For Now"](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Good-Enough-For-Now-lyrics-Weird-Al-Yankovic/04AF7A808F45AB064825690F0015F469)? > [@](#): > > You’re pretty close to what I’ve always hoped for > That’s why my love for you is fairly strong > And I swear I’m never gonna leave you, darlin’ > At least 'til something better comes along > > 'Cause you’re sort of everything I’ve ever wanted > You’re not perfect, but I love you anyhow > You’re the woman that I’ve always dreamed of > Well, not really…but you’re good enough for now ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/94 "2004-04-20T19:18:29Z")
> [@Starguard](#): > > “Send in the Clowns” would be nice. 😃 I was in a wedding where this was played as the mothers of the bride and groom were escorted in. :eek: Ya shoulda heard the snickers in the congregation. Personally I think Loretta Lynn said it all as far as wedding songs are concerned: “Don’t Come Home A’ Drinkin’ With Lovin’ On Your Mind.” ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/95 "2004-04-20T21:03:15Z")
> [@Mycroft Holmes](#): > > [nitpick]“Also sprach Zarathustra” is by Richard Strauss[/nitpick] I do that EVERY time! Why? Richard Wagner, Richard Strauss, is all I can figure. Idiot! ---
**Author:** ![JerH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bb73d2/32.png) [@JerH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerH)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/96 "2004-04-20T21:22:53Z")
> [@Jayn\_Newell](#): > > Brilliant. Along those lines, how about _Mari Mac_ by GBS? You mention Great Big Sea, and don’t add _Scolding Wife_ to the list? For shame. _And if the devil would take her I’d thank him for his pain I swear to God I’ll hang myself 'fore I get married again_ ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/97 "2004-04-20T21:36:37Z")
> [@mrklutz](#): > > I was making up some CD’s for the wedding of a pair of good friends of mine. I occasionally joked about putting Darth Vader’s theme on for the bride’s processional. 😛 A friend of mine (the groom) went down the aisle to The Imperial March. I’m thinking Last Caress/Green Hell, The Ballad of Chasey Lane (sp?) and Die, Die My Darling might be pretty bad choices. ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/98 "2004-04-20T22:02:59Z")
[taps mic] Thanks for coming. The answer is “The Too Fat Polka.” [walks away] ---
**Author:** ![Carm6773](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2bfe46/32.png) [@Carm6773](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carm6773)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/99 "2004-04-20T22:48:41Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > _Paradise by the Dashboard Light_ > > Although I suppose it is occasionally apropos: **TruePisces** and I always sing that whenever we get together, simply because it’s a fun song. I wanted it played at my wedding reception, but it didn’t because of a DJ mixup. It was played at **TP’s** wedding reception, though. **TP** and I had sooo much fun singing that song in the middle of the dance floor. I think there is even footage of it on her wedding video. ---
**Author:** ![Amberlei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@Amberlei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amberlei)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563/100 "2004-04-21T00:09:39Z")
> [@jmizzou](#): > > And _If You Wanna Be Happy_ by Jimmy Soul: > > _If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life > Never make a pretty woman your wife > So from my personal point of view > Get an ugly girl to marry you_ My very attractive former sister-in-law’s husband had this song played at their reception. She’s got a great sense of humor and, as stated already, is very attractive, so it wound up being funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-song-you-can-think-of-to-be-played-at-a-wedding/240563.md?page=6)