# What is the worst stage production you have ever seen? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 2, 2005, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524 "2005-03-02T01:16:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/41 "2005-03-03T04:23:21Z")
That Dracula story was absolutely hysterical! I almost peed my pants laughing when I read it šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/42 "2005-03-03T04:53:32Z")
> [@Max Torque](#): > > The most recent play we saw was called **My Sister In This House**. Itā€™s based on the real-life story of [Lea and Christine Papin](http://www.geocities.com/neil404bc/crime.htm), incestuous lesbian sisters who in the 1930s murdered their employer and her daughter in the house in which they worked. Now, youā€™d think itā€™d be hard to make a story about incestuous lesbian murderers boring, but by God they did it. The audience just laughed at the murder scene, it seemed so out of place after the boredom that came before. I donā€™t really have any good stories, but a friend of mine in college had to do a scene from **My Sister In This House** at the end-of-semester performance by her acting class. The actual scene chosen by the acting teacher was just the sisters cleaning the house and complaining. I was unfamiliar with the backstory, but the girl sitting next to me in the audience turned out to have seen some made-for-cable version of the play. When she recognized what play the scene came from, she started cracking up. She didnā€™t want to embarass the acting students so she wound up hunching over in her seat and trying to smother her giggles. I thought she was having some kind of fit, but it turned out she was just highly amused by the thought that the actresses might go on to do an incestuous lesbian sex scene right there onstage in the theater lab. Sadly, this did not happen. We did, however, get one racy moment when my friendā€™s character had to get down on her hands and knees to scrub the floor. Turns out she was wearing bright red thong panties beneath her somber black-and-white servantā€™s costume. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/43 "2005-03-03T18:02:02Z")
> [@ltfire](#): > > Rent. > > On Broadway, fer crissake. > > So much for reading the reviews and listening to the critics. > > Even after reading the Playbill, I still donā€™t know what it was about. > > My wife and I got up at intermission, and never looked back. (At least we got into a good restaurant before all the theatres let out.) That doesnā€™t surprise me, and I _love_ **Rent**. Fortunately, I bought the soundtrack before seeing the show, and listened to it so much that I basically knew all the words. Iā€™ve seen it several times live, and each time Iā€™ve thought ā€œman, the percussion is too loud and the sound system isnā€™t greatā€¦ if I didnā€™t already know all the words, Iā€™d have NO idea what was going onā€. Itā€™s one of the few shows that I think is better as a soundtrack than as an actual performance (although I still enjoy it as a performance). ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/44 "2005-03-03T18:56:51Z")
> [@Mehitabel](#): > > OMG, **MaxTorque** , for some reason this is the funniest thing Iā€™ve read all week. May I sig? Sure, go to town. heh. Finally, Iā€™m sigworthy! Upon reflection, that wasnā€™t really the worst play Iā€™ve seen at the university. Lemme set the scene for everyone: Back in 2001, I got slipped a note that someone I knew ā€œwouldnā€™t mind spending more timeā€ with me. So, having two tickets to the university play that night and no one to go with, I called her up and asked her. She said yes, and off we went. I thought it would be a good thing, because the play was supposed to be **The Trial of Oscar Wilde** , which sounded like it could be quite funny. For some reason, that was not the play put on that night. Apparently, the old director up and left, and he took the rights to do that play with him, or something. Instead, they hastily cobbled together something godawful. I remember it was an Arthur Miller play, but damned if I know which one. It was poorly rehearsed and impossible to hear. There were no sets apart from some chain-link fencing. To make up for the lack of sets, apparently, they decided to fill the stage with WAY too much smoke. It was burning our eyes and throats. My date and I finally couldnā€™t take it anymore, and we walked out at intermission. I mention the dating backstory because somehow she didnā€™t hold that horrendous first date against me, and we got married last September. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/45 "2005-03-03T20:59:47Z")
> [@baronsabato](#): > > The worst musical/play I had ever seen was a repertory production of ā€œInto the Woodsā€. I shouldā€™ve known it would be bad when I found out the theatre was above a bowling alley, but I thought Iā€™d give it a chance since I previously had great luck with amateur/repertory companies. It might just have been the musical. I think Iā€™ve seen ā€œInto the Woodsā€ twice and neither time have I been able to stay awake through the second half. Still donā€™t know how it all ends up. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/46 "2005-03-03T21:13:26Z")
> [@John Corrado](#): > > Sunday morning, a few hours before the last performance, the actor playing Dracula didnā€™t show up. The stage manager grabbed a friend and looked everywhere- and eventually found him in the area where the cast party had been. The actor was still completely drunk from the party. He shouldnā€™t have drunkā€¦ wine. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/47 "2005-03-03T21:55:54Z")
Okay, donā€™t remember the name of the play, sadly, butā€¦ Was just getting to know a new friend, and she found out we both had a love for theater. She grabbed the nearest, soonest production for us to hang out at together. Turned out the play was a two-person show that went something like this: Student in ethics course goes to professorā€™s office to complain about grade. Professor points out why the paper isnā€™t deserving of a good grade. Student records the conversation, edits it, and gets the prof. busted for sexual harassment over things he never said. Professorā€™s life goes to hell. The end. On the drive home, my friend spent most of the time appologizing profusely for bringing me to it. Luckilly, we went and saw a fun kids movie after that (which sadly I fell asleep durring), and have been good friends ever since. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Shabadu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@Shabadu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shabadu)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/48 "2005-03-03T22:01:50Z")
It took me a while to come up with bad productions, even though I have seen a number of shows. I guess I just blocked them out of my memory. The first one that comes to mind was a musical version of _Tuck Everlasting_ that I saw at a community theatre in Boston. I would have walked out if one of my friends was not in it. I thought that he did a good job, but overall it was a dumb story and horrible acting. I could not believe that it was an Equity show. The other one that I could think of was a version of _The Tempest_ that I saw at a reperatory theatre. It was horrible and there were actors playing multiple rolls. Usually this is not a bad idea, until you have single actors having conversations with themselves. They would literally step back and forth to talk to themselves while pulling one shirt down to their waist to be the other charactor. I have never been so confused and horrified while watching theatre. ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/49 "2005-03-03T22:23:52Z")
Not so much the worst performance but the most unfortunate would have been the church pantomime a few years ago when a member of the audience keeled over and had a heart attack which sadly proved to be fatal.We had half the cast wandering about backstage wondering what was happening,people racing round trying to help.His son was doing the lighting,so that was abandoned,and we had to try and keep control of the party of Boy Scouts heā€™d driven up who were rather upset wandering about and then trying to find ways to get them back home for the night.Not one of our favorite performancesā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/50 "2005-03-03T22:30:53Z")
> [@ArrMatey!](#): > > Okay, donā€™t remember the name of the play, sadly, butā€¦ > > Was just getting to know a new friend, and she found out we both had a love for theater. She grabbed the nearest, soonest production for us to hang out at together. > Turned out the play was a two-person show that went something like this: > Student in ethics course goes to professorā€™s office to complain about grade. > Professor points out why the paper isnā€™t deserving of a good grade. > Student records the conversation, edits it, and gets the prof. busted for sexual harassment over things he never said. > Professorā€™s life goes to hell. > The end. > > On the drive home, my friend spent most of the time appologizing profusely for bringing me to it. Luckilly, we went and saw a fun kids movie after that (which sadly I fell asleep durring), and have been good friends ever since. šŸ™‚ From your plot description, this sounds like David Mametā€™s ā€œOleanna.ā€ An almost unwatchable movie was made from this. It starred one of my favorite actors, William H. Macy, but I could barely make it to the end. Ecccch. What a stinker. ---
**Author:** ![Sweetums](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/51 "2005-03-03T23:19:52Z")
I once saw a small college production of Medea, thatā€¦ wellā€¦ ``` Having seen a few of this college's productions I knew that they were known for having reletivly decent actors in lead roll, but getting progressivle desperate farther down in the cast. Alas, this time, even the lead was rather horrible. Not the lead actresses's fault completly. You see, the director had apparently fixated on the fact that Medea was a "witch", so he: ``` 1. Dressed her like ā€œElvira does goth wedding dress,ā€ push up bra and all. 2. Had her talking like the witches in a bad sitcom version of Macbeth. 3. Had her waving her hands (see above Macbeth reference), constantly. Not talking with her hands, just wildly inapproprate hand waving. I guess that looks ā€œwitchy.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524/52 "2005-03-04T02:46:05Z")
An undergraduate production of _As You Like It_, with 100% cross-gender casting. This might have been interesting if it had been done for an actual artistic purpose, but the sad truth was that there were only four men in our Shakespeare society, and none of them could act. (Neither could most of the fifteen or so women.) Most of the cast seemed to be under the impression that the best way to do comedy was to laugh very loudly after every (mostly incomprehensible) joke. Ouch. We thought about doing _Macbeth_ the next semester, but we couldnā€™t very well have two cross-gendered productions in a row, and there were _definitely_ no guys who were up to the part. After toying briefly with the idea of having Lady Macbeth carry around a sock puppet, we decided not to put on any more plays šŸ™‚ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-worst-stage-production-you-have-ever-seen/292524.md?page=2)