# What is truly the worst song you have ever heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 20, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160 "2005-10-20T23:13:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/181 "2005-10-22T17:53:47Z")
Are you talking about “Kyrie Eleison on the road that I must travel”? That’d be _Kyrie_ by Mister Mister. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/182 "2005-10-22T17:56:53Z")
Sorry for the double post of information, but that’s how long the page hung up before the message posted. When I started composing, that post was last on the list. Somebody feed the hamsters! ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/183 "2005-10-22T18:06:06Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > [Good Morning Starshine](http://my.execpc.com/~suden/morning_starshine.html) by Donovan Donovan did not do this song. You’re thinking of [Oliver](http://www.classicbands.com/oliver.html). ---
**Author:** ![party\_store](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@party\_store](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/party_store)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/184 "2005-10-22T18:07:22Z")
Hmm… pick one of these: Led Zeppelin - Stairway To Heaven Eagles - Hotel California Beatles - Hey Jude Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/185 "2005-10-22T20:25:07Z")
Young Girl - I believe by Gary Puckett & the Union Gap. “Come back, when you grow up girl…” bleccch! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/186 "2005-10-22T20:28:53Z")
Has anyone mentioned the horror that is the Hamster Dance? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/187 "2005-10-22T21:32:14Z")
“Turn on Your Heartlight” is **supervenusfreak’s** _bete noir_. All I have to do is sing the lyrics “Turn on your…” and he flinches. I used to own the Mr. Mister album that _Kyrie_ was on (_Broken Wings_?) and listened it to death when I was 14 or so. Just a fun fact…_Kyrie_ is probably the only pop song that ever took its lyrics from a Mass part… But I have _Those Were the Days_ (both the Mary Hopkins and the Dolly Parton versions) and Maria Muldaur’s _Midnight at the Oasis_ on my listen-to-at-work CD… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/188 "2005-10-22T21:37:24Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > I used to own the Mr. Mister album that _Kyrie_ was on (_Broken Wings_?) and listened it to death when I was 14 or so. Just a fun fact…_Kyrie_ is probably the only pop song that ever took its lyrics from a Mass part… I knew a guy who swore to me that he believed Mr. Mister would become the Beatles of the 80’s. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/189 "2005-10-22T21:48:25Z")
> [@party store](#): > > Hmm… pick one of these: > > Led Zeppelin - Stairway To Heaven… Er… what? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/190 "2005-10-22T21:59:19Z")
> [@Harriet the Spry](#): > > Young Girl - I believe by Gary Puckett & the Union Gap. “Come back, when you grow up girl…” bleccch! Only one of those belongs to Gary Puckett… Young girl, get out of my mind. My love for you is way out of line. Better run, girl. You’re much too young, girl… The other lyric is from Bobby Vee, _Come Back When You Grow Up, Girl_. HOWEVER…Gary Puckett does have another creepy young girl song, _This Girl Is A Woman Now_… This girl walked in dreams Playing in a world of her own This girl was a child Existing in a playground of stone Then one night her world was changed Her life and dreams were rearanged And she would never be the same again This girl is a woman now … (cut because I can’t post all the lyrics) This girl tasted love As tender as the gentle dawn She cried a single tear A teardrop that was sweet and warm Our hearts told us we were right And on that sweet and velvet night A child had died A woman had been born ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/191 "2005-10-22T23:03:38Z")
Rio - Duran Duran ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/192 "2005-10-22T23:17:39Z")
But seriously. _Shuddup Your Face_ - Joe Dolce. Astonishingly made number 1 in the UK. Even more astonishingly kept Ultravox’s _Vienna_ from making number 1. _Sailing_ - Rod Stewart. We are sailing, We are saaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiilinggggggggggg. _Mull of Kyntyre_ - Paul McCartney. Need I say more? _Killing Me Softly_ - The Fugees (not the original version, which I liked). Booom chicka anyone? _Save All Your Kisses For Me_ - Bortherhood Of Man. The Eurovision Song Contest has foisted some rubbish on us, but this has outsold everything. Even Abba’s Waterloo (if you exclude album sales). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Silence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a4c791/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Silence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Silence)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/193 "2005-10-23T01:36:54Z")
**The Girl is mine**. What a piece of crap. Also **Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love to Town** and **Behind Closed Doors**. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/194 "2005-10-23T01:44:19Z")
> [@The Great Silence](#): > > **The Girl is mine**. > > What a piece of crap. That steaming pile makes me wish all the more than Lennon was alive. He would have reamed Paul out on that one. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/195 "2005-10-23T02:25:33Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > James died before Cream recorded the song. I have heard that his wife didn’t recognize the song, but was plenty glad for the royalty check. Your second sentence agrees with what I’ve heard. However, according to James biographer Steve Calt: > [@liner notes from Yazoo 2009](#): > > Even as he wasted away with cancer, (James) took pride in the thought that his 1931 recording of “I’m So Glad” surpassed a rock version by The Cream. “That piece is absolutely gonna stand”, he said. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/196 "2005-10-23T02:25:57Z")
I cannot let this thead go by without including: **Cherish** by the Association What that? You don’t know it? Let me help you. "Cherish is the word I use to describe… aahhhh ah ahh aaaahh ah ahhh… All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside" Remember it now? yes, some of you are lucky enough not to be able to…some are wondering how I could be so sadistic as to dredge up memories so carefuly repressed in the name of sanity. Yeah, well, welcome to my world. I had forgotten about this song (and a number of similar songs the '60s are less than famous for) till I took a job where it was played at me about one a day. It probably will be again tomorrow!!! So if I have to suffer you do too “Perish is the word that more than applies To the hope in my heart each time I realize That I am not gonna be the one to share your dreams That I am not gonna be the one to share your schemes That I am not gonna be the one to share what Seems to be the life that you could Cherish as much as I do yours” Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/197 "2005-10-23T02:29:53Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > I cannot let this thead go by without including: > > **Cherish** by the Association I see your Cherish and raise you Bread’s “Baby, I’m-a Want You.” > [@Bread](#): > > Baby, I’m-a want you > Baby, I’m-a need you > You the only one I care enough to hurt about > Maybe I’m-a crazy > But I just can’t live without… ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/198 "2005-10-23T02:55:56Z")
> [@rayh](#): > > But seriously. Wait, are you saying your “Rio” nomination wasn’t for real? Because it is a truly awful song. I’m somehow been spared this R. Kelly closet thing…I assume it sounds better performed than read, right? Because these lyrics are hysterical. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/199 "2005-10-23T03:01:52Z")
**F. U. Shakespeare** is right; Skip James died in October 1969, by which time Cream had been and gone, leaving both studio and live versions of “I’m So Glad” in their wake. (Not to mention Deep Purple’s 1968 knock-off, where “tired of moanin’” gets mondegreened into “telephonin’.”) ---
**Author:** ![ReuvenB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@ReuvenB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReuvenB)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/200 "2005-10-23T03:25:39Z")
I have you ALL beat. If any of you have ever heard of the book Songs in the Key of Z, a wonderful book about bizarre music, it comes with a 2 CD set. I borrowed this set from one of my friends out of idle curiosity. On the second CD, I heard something that literally made me run from the room with pain in my ears. I give you **Cousin Mosquito #2** by Congress-Woman Malinda Jackson Parker. You can hear a snip of it on [Amazon](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000077SX3/002-7259899-9973669?v=glance), or you can take my advice and poke your eardrums with knitting needles instead. Most of the song consists of a woman repeating “buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz” for thirty second stretches. The rest describes the deadly nature of the mosquito in a semi-spoken work format. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160.md?page=11)