# What is truly the worst song you have ever heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 20, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160 "2005-10-20T23:13:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/221 "2005-10-23T21:28:22Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Incidentally, the “ooga chaka ooga ooga” version of “Hooked on a Feeling” is by a group called [Blue Swede](http://www.coolforever.com/temp/blueswede_hookedonafeeling1.JPG). While watching one of those Time-Life infomercials, I finally got to see what the lead singer looked like. He’s a skinny little blond guy with a seriously bad case of 70s blow-dried hair. [pic](http://hometown.aol.co.uk/glamrockbear2/images/blue%20swede%20001.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/222 "2005-10-23T21:32:11Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > While watching one of those Time-Life infomercials, I finally got to see what the lead singer looked like. He’s a skinny little blond guy with a seriously bad case of 70s blow-dried hair. > > [pic](http://hometown.aol.co.uk/glamrockbear2/images/blue%20swede%20001.jpg) It was the 70s. The only people who didn’t have a bad case of blow-dried hair were the ones with 2-foot afros… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/223 "2005-10-23T21:35:34Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > It was the 70s. The only people who didn’t have a bad case of blow-dried hair were the ones with 2-foot afros… I somehow expected the lead to singer to big a bigger guy. A case of pre-historic Rick Astley Syndrome, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/224 "2005-10-23T21:37:10Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > It was the 70s. The only people who didn’t have a bad case of blow-dried hair were the ones with 2-foot afros… Some of the 50-something WWII vets were still wearing brylcreme. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/225 "2005-10-23T21:38:07Z")
> [@KRC](#): > > Wasn’t that rumor about the “Ooga Chaka” song from a book called _Subliminal Seduction_ ? I can’t remember the author’s name but later he went on to write a book about how that eeeeevil rock and roll music is destroying our children. Wilson Bryan Key, who also wrote _Media Sexploitation_ and _The Clam-Plate Orgy._ I don’t recall his later work on rock lyrics, but it’s possible. The man has issues. > [@KRC](#): > > Speaking of bad songs, destroyed children, generation gaps etc., has anyone yet mentioned “Once You Understand” by Think? It consists of a series of arguments between parents and their children and ends with a father receiving a phone call in which he is informed that he had better come down to the police station because his son has died of an OD. The father, who no doubt now realizes that he should have been more understanding, starts to cry and the song ends, leaving the listener wondering why the kid OD’d at the police station. I recall hearing this, of all places, on Dr. Demento’s radio show. > [@KRC](#): > > Oh, and I’ll second or third Heart Light and also that one where Neil Diamond seems to believe that his furniture has come to life but is refusing to listen to him. (I thinks its called “I Am I Said”) Hey Neil, we’ve got medications now to treat that–talk to your shrink. That’s the funniest summary of that song ( **I Am, I Said** ) that I’ve EVER READ. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/226 "2005-10-23T21:41:27Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Only one of those belongs to Gary Puckett… > > Young girl, get out of my mind. > My love for you is way out of line. > Better run, girl. > You’re much too young, girl… Thank you, that’s the one. There was only so much googling I wanted to do on the words “young girl”… ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/227 "2005-10-23T21:43:50Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > I somehow expected the lead to singer to big a bigger guy. A case of pre-historic Rick Astley Syndrome, I suppose. \ I just googled Rick Astley. :eek: I swear, I always thought he was a tall, black dude. Just, yknow, from his voice. Wow. \ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/228 "2005-10-23T22:09:28Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > I just googled Rick Astley. :eek: > I swear, I always thought he was a tall, black dude. Just, yknow, from his voice. > > Wow. As opposed to being Howdy Doody’s buffer older brother? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/229 "2005-10-23T22:28:38Z")
> [@Brain Wreck](#): > > Every now and then, the hip-hop scene produces something so incredibly inane that it makes Barney look like Sting. The latest offering is [My Humps](http://www.mindspring.com/~toastcontrol/humps.mp3) by some evil group called the “Black-Eyed Peas”. > > The lyrics go like this: > _“My humps, my humps my humps my humps, my humps my humps my humps, my lovely lady lumps”._ Seconded. It’s an awful song in its own right, but the kids just love it, which makes it even more odious. Nothing like watching a roomful of skankily dressed teens bumping and grinding to a t&a song. Ahhh, the innocence of youth. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/230 "2005-10-24T00:42:06Z")
Okay, the Black Eyed Peas song isn’t great, but it’s _so catchy_ - wonderful for, you know, dancing or partying to. I despise country music in general: it’s twangy and mopey, generally the artists are horrible and untalented, and the lyrics are mind-numbing and idiotic. Any of the patriotic aural glurge - God Bless America, that Red White and Blue song, and there’s some horrid, wretched thing about “This flag’s not a rag” or some rot, which really makes me want to smash the radio and then, perhaps, set fire to the culture that produced this drivel. I _really_ hate that stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Pan4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@Pan4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pan4Life)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/231 "2005-10-24T00:56:10Z")
I can’t believe nobody nominated “Hey-hey We’re the Monkeys” That, is a way bad song…and not like in a transverse dichotomy where “bad” is more like…“baaad”, rather just plain horrible. Right up that alley and on an even keel goes “Shiny Happy People” by REM even though I will sit through the video with the mute button pressed to see Kate Pierson shimmy in her go-go boots. Even that can’t save the fact that the song suuuuuuuuuuks so bad on every level. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/232 "2005-10-24T01:14:43Z")
> [@Pan4Life](#): > > I can’t believe nobody nominated “Hey-hey We’re the Monkeys” What would you like to have had **The Monkees** sing as the theme to their television show? Hey you kids, get off my lawn! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/233 "2005-10-24T01:39:41Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > And what does “I got to boogie woogie like a knife in the back” supposed to mean? If that’s part of the lyrics, I wouldn’t know-I try to block that piece of shit out of my memory. I like the original “Hooked on a Feeling”. “My Humps”-what do you expect from a group where the lead singer pisses herself while performing on stage? ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/234 "2005-10-24T01:57:19Z")
Here is something i’ve found. I find it difficult to disagree with any of [these offences against musical taste](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/848510.stm). 1. The Birdie Song - The Tweets 2. Teletubbies Say Eh-Oh - The Teletubbies 3. Barbie Girl - Aqua 4. Agadoo - Black Lace 5. I Should Be So Lucky - Kylie Minogue 6. We’re Going To Ibiza - Vengaboys 7. Grandma We Love You - St Winifred’s School Choir 8. Shaddap Your Face - Joe Dolce 9. Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus 10. Lady In Red - Chris De Burgh Honorable mentions go to :- Save Your Love - Rene and Renata Agadoo - Black Lace Orville’s Song - Keith Harris If - Telly Sevalas Achie Breaky Heart - Billy Ray-Cyrus Long Haired Lover From Liverpool - Jimmy Osmond And last, but by no means least :- Macarena - Los Del Rio And to make matters worse [here](http://www.ambassdj.com/page25.html) are the dance steps, and you can also hear portions of the song. And [here](http://www.excalibur-nx-1707.com/klingon%20disco.htm) is the Klingon version. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/235 "2005-10-24T01:58:31Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Okay, the Black Eyed Peas song isn’t great, but it’s _so catchy_ - wonderful for, you know, dancing or partying to. > > I despise country music in general: it’s twangy and mopey, generally the artists are horrible and untalented, and the lyrics are mind-numbing and idiotic. > > Any of the patriotic aural glurge - God Bless America, that Red White and Blue song, and there’s some horrid, wretched thing about “This flag’s not a rag” or some rot, which really makes me want to smash the radio and then, perhaps, set fire to the culture that produced this drivel. > > I _really_ hate that stuff. I am so relieved to find someone else who feels this way. To twangy and mopey and drivel, let us add: whiny, nasal, self-righteous. I share your hate. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/236 "2005-10-24T02:02:38Z")
> [@rayh](#): > > [here](http://www.excalibur-nx-1707.com/klingon%20disco.htm) is the Klingon version. Right. Show me the Klingon with the balls to do the Macarena. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/237 "2005-10-24T02:08:49Z")
> [@rayh](#): > > Here is something i’ve found. I find it difficult to disagree with any of [these offences against musical taste](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/848510.stm). > snip > > And to make matters worse [here](http://www.ambassdj.com/page25.html) are the dance steps, and you can also hear portions of the song. > > And [here](http://www.excalibur-nx-1707.com/klingon%20disco.htm) is the Klingon version. Just for that, here is some payback: > **[Picard Song](https://picard.ytmnd.com/)** ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/238 "2005-10-24T03:03:31Z")
Generally speaking I’m a fairly peaceable person. But there is one song that had me contemplating murder each time my dorm neighbors played it loud enough to shake the walls. That song is “Hard Knock Life” by Jay Z. He should burn in hell for recording it. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/239 "2005-10-24T03:44:27Z")
You’ve Got the Look by some foreign band. I hear the lyrics are off. “Lovin like a dog” ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/240 "2005-10-24T04:03:49Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > I despise country music in general: it’s twangy and mopey, generally the artists are horrible and untalented, and the lyrics are mind-numbing and idiotic. Well, now I have to take a bit of exception to that. If you’re talking about the commercially produced glurge from the fake cowboy factory line, yeah, I’m right with you on that. But some of the classic stuff is really good, like vintage Johnny Cash or Patsy Cline. > [@](#): > > Any of the patriotic aural glurge - God Bless America, that Red White and Blue song, and there’s some horrid, wretched thing about “This flag’s not a rag” or some rot, which really makes me want to smash the radio and then, perhaps, set fire to the culture that produced this drivel. > I _really_ hate that stuff. Yeah, this is pretty awful. In fact it’s so awful that I hesitate to call it music. I’m not normally a conspiracy nut, but I strongly suspect the a lot of this stuff is indirectly contracted out by by government officials and funded out of black budgets. In many ways, country music is our _Pravda_. Why force propaganda and advertising down people’s throats when you can create stuff that they’ll gobble up hand over fist? Please excuse my cynicism, I’m fighting off both a wicked hangover and an existential crisis today. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160.md?page=13)