# What is truly the worst song you have ever heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 20, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160 "2005-10-20T23:13:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/281 "2005-10-25T04:11:28Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Oh, and the Captain and Tenille should be brought up on charges in the Hague. Hugh. Tennille was a very good singer! ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/282 "2005-10-25T04:12:46Z")
Okayyy, that should have said HUSH, not Hugh. :o ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/283 "2005-10-25T04:14:00Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves > > Well, anything by Cher except I’ve got you babe. Or that one where Cher sounded like Sonny in certain verses. Not to forget You Better Sit Down Kids. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/284 "2005-10-25T04:14:42Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Is that the same song where a little girl tells the story about she saw Jesus behind the couch with her while her parents murdered each other? > > A fine Saviour he was, hiding behind the couch. Yeah, that’s the one. God, who writes this crap? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/285 "2005-10-25T04:22:30Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Speaking of songs heard on B&B, what about “Crucified” by Army of Lovers? You take that back!! :mad: _still has “Massive Luxury Overdose” in regular rotation_ ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/286 "2005-10-25T04:33:08Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > A fine Saviour he was, hiding behind the couch. Apparently “No, have you looked behind the sofa?” _is_ an appropriate reponse to the question “Have you found Jesus?” ---
**Author:** ![Carm6773](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2bfe46/32.png) [@Carm6773](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carm6773)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/287 "2005-10-25T09:12:18Z")
The song with the girl hiding behind the couch is _The Little Girl_ by John Michael Montgomery. I must have bad taste, 'cause I like this song too. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/288 "2005-10-25T09:42:59Z")
> [@Rhubarb](#): > > okay, I made through all 6 pages, and most of the tunes I would have nominated are already listed. I just can’t believe no one has mentioned “Delta Dawn” by Helen Reddy. > Or maybe, like me, you had managed block it out of your memory along with other traumatic events until it played on the freaking Muzak at work! This song prompted me to get a chair and turn off the PA speaker above my cube. Now I never have to listen to anything by Barry Manilow (Barely Man-enough), Bobby Goldsboro, Tom Jones, Olivia Neutron-Bomb, The Cowsills, The Carpenters, Tony Orlando and Dawn, or any of the other “so incredibly bad the royalties are practically non-existent” garbage that my company seems to think is appropriate background music. Only “Delta Dawn”? I’m struggling to think of _anything_ by Helen Reddy that I would ever willingly listen to again. That “I Am Woman” abomination scores heavily in the three key categories: melody, lyrics and vocal production. :rolleyes: The version of “Candle In The Wind” that got rushed out for Di’s funeral was the grossest, most puke-inducing instance of kissassery in the history of the craft, too. ::barf:: And an honourable mention for [this](http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/i/imfromouterspace.shtml) piece of cutesie preachiness from the Seventies. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/289 "2005-10-25T15:22:09Z")
I own 14 of the songs named in this thread. I have terrible musical taste. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/290 "2005-10-25T16:48:17Z")
Most modern country is irritating, thanks to the glurge. The one song I truly find grating, even though most people seem to like it, is _Dead Man’s Party_ by Oingo Boingo. ---
**Author:** ![mrrealtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@mrrealtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrrealtime)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/291 "2005-10-25T16:57:52Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Most modern country is irritating, thanks to the glurge. The one song I truly find grating, even though most people seem to like it, is _Dead Man’s Party_ by Oingo Boingo. a deliciously terrible song is “boat of car” by they might be giants. One of my all time favourites. As far as actually terrible songs that actually make the world a worse place by their existence (these songs are the ones that are catchy and commercially safe, viable, homogenous, repetitive etc) Madonna music is a good example of those ones. Great person, terrible songs. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/292 "2005-10-25T17:59:49Z")
May I present [Rocky](http://www.twin-music.com/azlyrics/r_file/austinroberts.html') by Austin Roberts? Yipe, it’s pathetic and whiney and catchy as hell. > [@](#): > > But we got it on together > In such a super way > We held each other close at night > And traded dreams each day In a _super_ way!! Well, all right then. > [@](#): > > I said, ‘Baby, oh sweet baby > It’s love that sets us free > And God knows if the world should end > Your love is safe with me’ And you remember what happens in the end, right? She DIES. Dies! No–I actually hate this song so much I love it. It was one of the first songs I downloaded back in the days before I knew Napster shouldn’t be free. ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/293 "2005-10-25T18:06:15Z")
I remember seeing a poll regarding the worst rock song ever, and the winner was the absolutely awful “I Started A Joke” by the **BeeGees**. The first line of each verse gets worse and more melodramatic: “I started a joke, which started the whole world crying…” … “I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing…” … “I finally died, which started the whole world living…” Yeesh! As for religious songs, there is an abomination I’ve heard at church which is meant to attract teens (!)… “My God is an Awesome God”. Whoever is responsible for that one should be sent to meet his maker. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/294 "2005-10-25T18:29:22Z")
Let’s make that [Rocky](http://www.twin-music.com/azlyrics/r_file/austinroberts.html) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/295 "2005-10-25T18:38:28Z")
> [@Ellen Cherry](#): > > Let’s make that [Rocky](http://www.twin-music.com/azlyrics/r_file/austinroberts.html) And who could forget: She said, “Rocky, I never had to die before. Don’t know if I can do it.” ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/296 "2005-10-25T18:38:56Z")
> [@Poysyn](#): > > There was this song, I think it was big in '98 or '99, and it was called Blue. I **loathed** this song, even more because it was repetitive enough that it got stuck in your head. > … I can’t remember the group, but it was a horrible, horrible song. Just to confuse matters, there was also a dance track called [Blue](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000001G00) by LaTour that was featured in the movie Basic Instinct. No lyrics though. > [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Did it have a guy singing “Oh yeah” over and over again in a deep voice? That may have been Yello. That song was used in Ferris Bueller (amongst others). Yep. It was Yello, and appears on their album called [Stella](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000001F9R). ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/297 "2005-10-25T21:19:09Z")
> [@TwoTrouts](#): > > As for religious songs, there is an abomination I’ve heard at church which is meant to attract teens (!)… “My God is an Awesome God”. Whoever is responsible for that one should be sent to meet his maker. In our pew (2/3 of the way back – not far enough that we’re those people who always sit in the back, but not forward enough that the minister actually sees us) Mrs. Kunilou and I mutter at that one, under our breaths: My God is a vengeful God My God is a wrathful God My God knows retribution’s His When he hears a hymn like this ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/298 "2005-10-25T21:55:49Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > The version of “Candle In The Wind” that got rushed out for Di’s funeral was the grossest, most puke-inducing instance of kissassery in the history of the craft, too. ::barf:: > . Preach it, brother. Elton should’ve had his knighthood revoked for that. Dude, if you can’t come up with something original (and everyone understands it’s short notice), don’t try to slap together something that was 95% lifted from your paean to Marilyn Monroe, and the other 5% doesn’t scan. ---
**Author:** ![Otanabi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Otanabi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otanabi)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/299 "2005-10-26T00:18:24Z")
“Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you. Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you. Hahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you. Lahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.” The Carpenters. Blech!! My nightmare of Hell: having to sit in a dark room with nothing to do but listen to this song for eternity. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Vreemdeling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7ea924/32.png) [@Vreemdeling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vreemdeling)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/300 "2005-10-26T00:34:40Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > “Do they know it’s Christmas.” Which - beyond its imlicit suckiness - is bad because they wrote it for a bumch of muslims and ethiopian Christians. No, they don’t know it is Christmas, you moron. They do not celebrate Christmas. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=6707293#](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=6707293#) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160.md?page=16)