# What is truly the worst song you have ever heard?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [October 20, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160 "2005-10-20T23:13:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![poeticyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6bbea6/32.png) [@poeticyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poeticyde)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/81 "2005-10-21T13:57:08Z")

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> [@bluecanary](#):
>
> It was Eiffel 65. They were a one hit wonder here in Britain with that song.

/delurk

Ah yes, “I’m Blue, ah boo dee ah boo die”…

My wife and I used to frequent a gay club with a friend of ours (who often performed in the drag shows), and I asked him why they always played that song.

He smiled and said that it was because the mumbling “ah boo dee ah boo die” sounded like “I’m in need of a guy”…and damn it, to this day, that’s all I hear whenever that song (infrequently) gets played!

/lurk

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**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/82 "2005-10-21T14:12:22Z")

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> [@Askance](#):
>
> Some very worthy candidates so far (whoever first mentioned _Honey_, damn you to hell). But what of the song that spawned a group that formed the basis of the whole karaoke thing? _ **And won the Eurovision song contest with it!** _ I refer of course to _Waterloo_ by **Abba**. I’m so confident of victory here that I won’t even mention the dreck that followed Ring Ring, Mama Mia, Fernando, Money Money Money from the prolific pens of Bjorn and Benny.

I stand and applaud you for your bold stance that ABBA can be anything other than utter shite. Telling this to ABBA fans is a waste of breath.

I have never understood the ABBA sensation.

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**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/83 "2005-10-21T14:18:32Z")

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> [@Shirley Ujest](#):
>
> I stand and applaud you for your bold stance that ABBA can be anything other than utter shite. Telling this to ABBA fans is a waste of breath.
> 
> I have never understood the ABBA sensation.

As an ABBA fan, I understand your confusion.

Best way I can describe it is that I like well-crafted pop tunes with catchy hooks. ABBA has that in spades. Plus, Agnetha is hot!

Amongst their admirers are Bono and Elvis Costello (which shocked me more than you know).

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**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/84 "2005-10-21T14:26:01Z")

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The White Stripes have some song that starts with something like

“I’ve been think about my love bell, when you gonna ring it? When you gonna ring it?”

I cannot say if its the worst song ever, because I’ve successfully managed to destroy whatever sound device is emitting the song within the first ten seconds of it being played.

Perhaps the song develops into a beautiful composition that would make Beethoven weep with joy. I don’t know.

But that first lyric line makes my ears bleed.

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**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/85 "2005-10-21T14:34:32Z")

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Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus.

Although Born To Be Alive by Patrick Hernandez is riiiiight up there.

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**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/86 "2005-10-21T15:05:27Z")

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Wow. I’m really regretting clicking on that My Humps link (provided earlier). That’s some bad shit, yo.

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**Author:** ![The\_Unkempt\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Unkempt\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Unkempt_One)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/87 "2005-10-21T15:18:18Z")

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I’m So Glad, by **Cream**

I’m so glad  
I’m so glad  
I’m glad, I’m glad, I’mmmmmmm glad!

I love Cream, but every time I hear this song I lose a little bit of my soul…

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**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/88 "2005-10-21T15:25:53Z")

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> [@roger thornhill](#):
>
> And the winner is:
> 
> _We Are The World_
> 
> by Not-the-Bandaid (forgotten if they ever gave themselves a name - wouldn’t imagine they’d want to)

USA for Africa.

**Mr. Blue Sky** , you and I would get along just fine!

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/89 "2005-10-21T16:50:24Z")

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> [@The Unkempt One](#):
>
> I’m So Glad, by **Cream**
> 
> I’m so glad  
> I’m so glad  
> I’m glad, I’m glad, I’mmmmmmm glad!

It’s a Skip James song, actually.

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**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/90 "2005-10-21T17:01:38Z")

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> [@Marley23](#):
>
> It’s a Skip James song, actually.

I’m glad to know that.

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**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/91 "2005-10-21T17:02:59Z")

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“Coward of the County”, by Kenny Rogers. And now the damn thing is in my head, and I will cry for the rest of the afternoon.

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**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/92 "2005-10-21T17:09:17Z")

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“We like to party” by the Venga Boys is the musical equivalent of a crying baby to me. Just make it stop!

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**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/93 "2005-10-21T17:20:38Z")

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Anything Blood, Sweat and Tears song sung by David Clayton Thomas (that’s all of them after the first album, which he wasn’t on). The worst may be his butchering of “Sympathy for the Devil.”

After DCT/BST, the worst song I’ve ever heard is “Green Tamborine,” by the Lemon Pipers. Worse, even, than “Honey.”

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**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/94 "2005-10-21T17:23:38Z")

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> [@Rube E. Tewesday](#):
>
> “Coward of the County”, by Kenny Rogers. And now the damn thing is in my head, and I will cry for the rest of the afternoon.

…and this is the worst line:

> [@Kenny Rogers](#):
>
> One day while he was workin’ the Gatlin boys came callin’.  
> They took turns at Becky… There we’re three of them!

It’s clunky, poorly written, and delivered like an afterthought.

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**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/95 "2005-10-21T18:01:25Z")

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I think “Timothy”, hopefully the only serious cannabalism song there is, deserves some recognition.

Even the singer wanted to forget the whole thing.

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**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/96 "2005-10-21T18:04:30Z")

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> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#):
>
> …and this is the worst line:
> 
> It’s clunky, poorly written, and delivered like an afterthought.

Yeah, the horror of a gang rape is breezed over, to get to the glory of a guy showing he’s not afraid of a bar fight.

I must say, though, that on reflection, the Kenny Rogers version of that song may not be as bad as the cover by …the Chipmunks… although at least that master showman Alvin had the sense to turn the rape into a beating of the coward’s buddy.

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**Author:** ![Ooner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c67d28/32.png) [@Ooner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ooner)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/97 "2005-10-21T18:08:47Z")

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> [@Cisco](#):
>
> Nice try, but none of you chumps have even come close yet. The worst song ever is, in fact, [We Built This Starbucks on Heart and Soul](http://thestrangerlovelab.com/audio/jefferson_starbucks.mp3).
> 
> Sorry for ending your contest so soon.

This is so so great. I work at \*$ and this is hilarious. I’m letting everybody I work with know about it.

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**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/98 "2005-10-21T18:38:52Z")

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To be “truly the worst” a song would have to be both poorly conceived and poorly executed. Most of the tripe listed here may be one or the other, but not both.

**KCSuze** has a _real_ competitor with the Shaggs.

For me, the answer is simple: **Louie Louie** by the Kingsmen. Indecipherable lyrics, poorly sung, with ameturish accompaniement and 5th-rate production standards.

And it was dirty!

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**Author:** ![nvad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@nvad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nvad)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/99 "2005-10-21T18:47:06Z")

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I love you…  
You love me…

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**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-truly-the-worst-song-you-have-ever-heard/327160/100 "2005-10-21T18:51:01Z")

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> [@Askance](#):
>
> Some very worthy candidates so far (whoever first mentioned _Honey_, damn you to hell). But what of the song that spawned a group that formed the basis of the whole karaoke thing? _ **And won the Eurovision song contest with it!** _ I refer of course to _Waterloo_ by **Abba**. I’m so confident of victory here that I won’t even mention the dreck that followed Ring Ring, Mama Mia, Fernando, Money Money Money from the prolific pens of Bjorn and Benny.

Nah, you lose. **Abba** was a fantastic pop band. Great hooky melodies, fun harmonies, dancy tunes… What more do you want from pop music. They should be the very blueprint for good pop songwriting.

Anyhow, my submission, actually, I’ll give you an entire album:

[Attilla](http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&token=ADFEAEE4791FDE48A47F20D4823E53C0BA60F900FE4BF59A1321435992B63E4591037DAD4CFF9981B0FA6AB678B0FD2EA45F43D1C0EA5EF6DF6F2D5DF0&sql=10:bmfnzfohehpk), Billy Joel’s unbelievingly embarassing attempt at prog rock (before he found his voice as a rather vanilla pop singer with some decent tunes.) Read the review. I cannot do this record justice.

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