# What is up with letting children run wild in public? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 7, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553 "2011-02-07T18:41:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/101 "2011-02-08T02:50:34Z")
For a board that’s generally supportive of service industry drones, I’m surprised at the “asshole manager should have done something” attitude. Done what exactly? Do you think these douchebags would have listened to him? No, they would have thrown a fit and no doubt threatened him with at least the loss of his job. And the actual store manager may not have been there - you’re probably talking about some hapless, underpaid shift manager and I can tell you that it’s a shitty, stressful job. With the economy the way it is restaurants are cutting back on the help. I’m one of these shift managers but I spend 90% of my time doing production work because the owner is too cheap or just can’t afford to hire someone to do it. That drastically reduces my time “on the floor.” Of course if you asked the owner he’d say that the production work is second to being on the floor but God forbid that work doesn’t get done! And you can forget about non-manager employees picking up the slack - you’re lucky if they show up to work at all. So yeah, whoever was in charge probably didn’t care all that much. Managers really have very little power I hate to tell you. That said, the manager on duty should have at least apologized and comped the OP’s meal. As for the douchebag parents, well, there really isn’t a whole lot the manager could have done. Fortunately incidents like this are relatively rare. (Most of a manager’s grief is employee-related.) ---
**Author:** ![Ladymarmalade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@Ladymarmalade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ladymarmalade)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/102 "2011-02-08T02:50:55Z")
n/a ---
**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/103 "2011-02-08T02:54:28Z")
I think the time for solving the problem would have been before you placed your order. If you walk into a restaurant and there are wild feral children, and you think that might ruin your meal, don’t sit down anyway and hope it gets better, walk back out and go somewhere else. It would be great if there were restaurants that didn’t allow this kind of nonsense, but the fact is that most do. Keep moving your business to the ones that don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/104 "2011-02-08T03:00:40Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Would you pour water on an adult who was pissing you off? Gosh, if an adult was screaming and ignored my warnings to stay away and climbed into my seat and started putting their hands all over me, **I just might react physically**. And yeah, there would be legal consequences. **For that other motherfucker**. Fortunately, children and adults are different, mentally and emotionally and physically. And we treat children and adults differently. So your whole, “What if your aunt had balls, huh? What then, smartypants?” routine is a bit off. ---
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/105 "2011-02-08T03:02:12Z")
> [@](#): > > It would be great if there were restaurants that didn’t allow this kind of nonsense, but the fact is that most do. That’s a sad fact. Trust me, there have been times when I would have loved to have told someone to get the hell outta my store. Alas, I’d probably be the one getting the short end of the stick if that happened. Buisness owners are all too eager to kiss the asses of even the rudest customers and it’s the polite guests and employees who suffer. Fortunately, as I said, incidents this bad are pretty rare. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/106 "2011-02-08T03:24:47Z")
> [@stegon66](#): > > Fortunately, as I said, incidents this bad are pretty rare. Happily, you are right about this. I like to eat out and I live in the sticks, most of the restrauants are “family” style. I’ve only seen a couple of incidents this bad. Once, a man and a woman were getting up to leave and their son (maybe 6) suddenly took off running. He slammed into the waitress who was serving us our drinks and I wore them. The parents took full responsibility. The mother apologized and took her son outside and the father apologized again and wanted to pay for my dry cleaning (jeans and tshirt!), then insisted on paying for my meal. He also handed the waitress some cash. Most parents try their best and sometimes things happen. Not that this was the case for the OP. Those parents are like dog owners who can’t hear their dogs barking at 3 am. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/107 "2011-02-08T03:38:35Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > The remaining people can be lumped in with other restaurant patrons who impress me with their lack of manners and boorish behavior. Couples who think excessive PDA in a booth is appropriate, loud drunks, people who decide to fight or break up with their significant others in public, people who are foul mouthed, those that cheer for the sports team on the barely visible tv in the restaurant bar, and people who insist on describing their medical procedure over dinner at the next table over. Kids for these people are merely a prop - not even a necessary prop with the exception that they provide a distraction for their OWN boorish behavior. I completely disagree on the lumping in part. Loud drunks and obnoxious people are far more palatable than children running or screaming. You’ve always struck me as a very good, evenhanded parent. I think you are the exception, not the rule. You’ve cited people taking their kids away; I rarely see that. I see more of this, from a restaurant I reviewed in January (this is from a Yelp post I did), and LurkerinNJ, you’ll enjoy this: “The atmosphere was atrocious. A family in the table to my left and in front let their child (6 or 7, mind you) take off his shoes and walk around barefoot. He then ground his heel into the carpet - with a piece of chicken in between. He swiped a cloth napkin from an empty table and rubbed it all over his feet. I audibly gasped, but his obese mother couldn’t hear me or ignored me. Then she threatened to take each of their Kindles away if they didn’t shut up. The boy was eating with salad tongs instead of a fork all night long.” I notice this behavior moreso in the past 2 years. It’s like people aren’t getting babysitters anymore, probably because of the economy. I used to enjoy a few “family” establishments; now I try not to go to places that stock high chairs. Places where the average entree starts $15 and tiny ethnic places usually fit the bill. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/108 "2011-02-08T03:39:51Z")
Sven, the reason water was chosen was because the childcar was on fire. Makes logical sense to me. If I were in that situation I would have stood up, put my hands on the child, walked him forcibly (not painfully, but firmly) to the front door, opened it, and put him outside. Then I would have written my phone number down on a piece of paper and told the parents they’d be paying to replace my ruined clothing, or hearing from an attorney if they refused. Then I would have followed them out to their car and taken down the license plate number. I think her reaction was extraordinarily reasonable. ---
**Author:** ![AshenLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@AshenLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AshenLady)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/109 "2011-02-08T03:40:37Z")
You cannot even give a kid a swat on the behind, without putting yourself at risk of being arrested for child abuse. The kids are aware of this at a young age, and when out in public, act up even more. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/110 "2011-02-08T03:42:15Z")
You don’t see people taking their kids away because a lot of the time, they’re already gone before their kids had a chance to disturb you. The kid running around the table yelling “race car on fire!” and diving into your booth gets your attention. The three families that aren’t even in the restaurant anymore because Junior was having a bad night or throwing a temper tantrum, don’t, because they’re gone. I’ll also go ahead and put on my flak jacket and ask what the mother’s obesity had to do with that anecdote, **lindsay**. ---
**Author:** ![Fiveyearlurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/111 "2011-02-08T03:46:48Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > The story does sound rather… um, extreme. Is that a euphemism for “made up”? ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/112 "2011-02-08T03:47:25Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Out of curiosity, and I apologize if this was already mentioned and I missed it, but how did the kid react when you doused him? Instant quiet. He didn’t say a word, just stared at me. The sudden silence is what finally captured his parents undivided attention. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/113 "2011-02-08T03:52:33Z")
[quote=“MsWhatsit, post:110, topic:570553”] You don’t see people taking their kids away because a lot of the time, they’re already gone before their kids had a chance to disturb you. [QUOTE] I do notice. I’ve actually followed several people outside to tell them thank you for being so considerate. I agree with your point, tho. We only remember the bad ones. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/114 "2011-02-08T03:54:55Z")
Great video from A Current Affair version of What Would You do? where child actors are instructed to go feral in a restaurant. [http://video.au.msn.com/watch/video/the-social-experiment-kids-ruining-restaurants/xs83kzp](http://video.au.msn.com/watch/video/the-social-experiment-kids-ruining-restaurants/xs83kzp) ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/115 "2011-02-08T04:06:19Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I’ll also go ahead and put on my flak jacket and ask what the mother’s obesity had to do with that anecdote, **lindsay**. Too lazy to get up and corral him. Though, to be _entirely_ fair, I didn’t have time to ask her if she was big boned or if she was on any medication that made her more than 70 pounds overweight. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/116 "2011-02-08T04:07:24Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Instant quiet. He didn’t say a word, just stared at me. The sudden silence is what finally captured his parents undivided attention. I am totally unsurprised. I would have voted for either this, or delighted laughter that you were playing along with his game. See, there ARE big differences between kids and adults, and one of them, IMO, is that if you have an altercation with an adult and toss a drink of water in his face, you’re liable to get punched in return, or at least to have the cops called on you. Do it to a kid as the OP did, and the kid is going to likely shrug it off. I mean, he _did_ say he was on fire. It only makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/117 "2011-02-08T04:10:04Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Too lazy to get up and corral him. > > Though, to be _entirely_ fair, I didn’t have time to ask her if she was big boned or if she was on any medication that made her more than 70 pounds overweight. C-. I know plenty of skinny lazy parents. You could try to sell us on, “Fat deposits were blocking her ear canals,” though. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/118 "2011-02-08T04:15:01Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > \If I were in that situation I would have stood up, **put my hands on the child, walked him forcibly** (not painfully, but firmly) to the front door, opened it, and put him outside. Umm… ya I don’t think that would of went over well if you did that, even if you’re a women. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/119 "2011-02-08T04:15:28Z")
That’s not even in the top 5 of most hilarious excuses for being fat on this board. Though I did honestly laugh out loud 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553/120 "2011-02-08T04:20:02Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Would you pour water on an adult who was pissing you off? . If an adult crawled over my seat and spilled my coffee I’d knock him on his ass. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-up-with-letting-children-run-wild-in-public/570553.md?page=7)