# What is worse:- Underage girls who look/act much older - or girls who look underage? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 24, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968 "2004-09-24T23:32:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/21 "2004-09-27T14:32:03Z")
I believe that it is far, far worse to mistake an older girl for being younger, than vice versa, but only if it infringes on the legal age limit. I mean what 30 year old woman **wouldn’t** want to be mistaken for 25! Unfortunately young girls are looking much older in recent times. I mean walk down the street and you’ll see at least a handful of girls younger than 15 showing off flesh and wearing makeup and the like. Heck I’ve seen 8 year olds dressed up like that. I have the worst feeling that because of this social trends may start to take a turn for the worst. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/22 "2004-09-27T16:35:31Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > Unfortunately young girls are looking much older in recent times. I mean walk down the street and you’ll see at least a handful of girls younger than 15 showing off flesh and wearing makeup and the like. Heck I’ve seen 8 year olds dressed up like that. I have the worst feeling that because of this social trends may start to take a turn for the worst. Or, we could just lower the age of consent . . . 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/23 "2004-09-27T17:22:53Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > You mean Hilary _Duff_, right? She’s a good example. A couple years ago, when she was illegal in most states, I could’ve sworn she was in her mid twenties. She looks like she’s pushing thirty, now. ---
**Author:** ![cryptic\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@cryptic\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cryptic_j)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/24 "2004-09-28T15:17:57Z")
Hilary Duff! (d`oh!) !# :smack: I knew I had the name wrong deep down I think - - that serves me right ## my girlfriend lives in Missouri… Tales from the **cryptic** [www.organizedrhyme.co.uk](http://www.organizedrhyme.co.uk) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/25 "2004-09-28T17:53:58Z")
“So my girlfriend says: ‘You know what? You’re a pedophile.’ So I says: ‘Ooooh, _pedophile_. Big word for a twelve year-old.’” For some reason this joke has always amused me. ---
**Author:** ![Scarface\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Scarface\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarface_Z)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/26 "2004-09-28T18:37:52Z")
i figure i should start a dating site where pedophiles can meet and hook up with midgets and vice versa. think anyone would take the bait? ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/27 "2004-09-28T21:20:08Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > “So my girlfriend says: ‘You know what? You’re a pedophile.’ So I says: ‘Ooooh, _pedophile_. Big word for a twelve year-old.’” > > For some reason this joke has always amused me. Peter: “You better watch who you’re calling a child, Lois. Because if I’m a child, do you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I’ll be damned if I’m gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.” ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/28 "2004-09-29T02:12:49Z")
> [@Scarface Z](#): > > i figure i should start a dating site where pedophiles can meet and hook up with midgets and vice versa. think anyone would take the bait? Why would adult dwarves want to date pedophiles? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/29 "2004-09-29T07:59:34Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > If this is a moral question and not a strictly legal one, then we’ve got to consider intent. Someone who flirts a bit with a mature-looking adolescent at a club, but refuses to take things further when it becomes apparent that they aren’t dealing with an adult, has not done anything morally wrong. Someone who goes after an adult they believe to be an adolescent has the same intent as someone who goes after actual adolescents. That’s how I and several other women who look very young for their age look at it too. At sixteen, I looked about twelve. Older guys - by older I mean at least a decade older, some a few decades older- who would leer or flirt really creeped me the hell out because _for all they knew_, I was as young as I looked. Although the age of consent was in fact 16 in my state at the time, which would make it not legally wrong to hit on me or whatever, there’s something really \*\*wrong \*\* with a grown man who’d look that way at a kid who for all appearances seemed so much younger than they actually are. They might not be pedophiles, but a lot of us assumed they probably were. ---
**Author:** ![DemiserofD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DemiserofD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemiserofD)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/30 "2011-10-01T05:16:50Z")
I find these arguments to be unfair; being attracted to a certain body type doesn’t make a person a pedophile any more than swallowing your own blood when you suck on your cut finger makes you a vampire. I, for one, know that while I am attracted to the slender underdeveloped body type, i find little enjoyment in actually talking to people who are actually this age, and i strongly doubt their reactions to various…stimuli would be what i want, either. Honestly, i find the entire system that limits various activities based solely on age to be, frankly, ridiculous. Take, for example, a japanese or chinese woman; they naturally have a body type that is very petite. In many cases a western person would not be able to tell the difference between a western child and a japanese or chinese fully grown female, so long as the woman makes regular use of a razor. Another thing to consider is that in olden times, girls would be married EXTREMELY young. Not just baby marriages, either; girls would be married as young as 8 or 9 years old, and they would very soon take up all the same duties as any wife. Girls having children at 12 or 13 was extremely common…many people think that Mary, from the bible, was around that age when she became pregnant, so this has been happening for 2000 years. Not entirely applicable, of course, but the point still stands; age has nothing to do with the ability to pursue sexual activities. I have met 14 year olds that are more intelligent and mature than people twice their age, and i’ve met 40 year olds that never left grade school(maturity-wise, anyway). The age limit is an arbitrary and subjective thing. Pertaining to the question…i believe that it is the intent that matters, not the age. You do not intend to hurt the person in question. Isn’t that good enough? Age means nothing, so long as your intentions are good. A good person with good intent will do far less damage to an underage girl, than a bad person with bad intent will do to a legal girl. And that’s all i have to say about that. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/31 "2011-10-01T05:51:02Z")
Have you been waiting until this thread was old enough for you to post in it? ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/32 "2011-10-01T06:08:39Z")
I’m 26 and am frequently mistaken for a high school-er or a young college kid. I’m O.K. with that (most of the time). The only time I’ve ever been marked for older than what I was is when a student thinks I ‘must be really old, like twenty eight or thirty or something’. Ha ha. What really freaking irks me are the teens I teach that try to look older. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Put your ass cheeks back in your shorts and cover your chest area. _Please_. You do not look older. You look like a hooker with zits and braces. How come we aren’t complaining about parents who let their 8, 9, and 10 year old daughters dress like sluts? Short shorts/skirts, bare midriffs, mascara…? I saw a few girls at the synagogue yesterday who had skirts that were too far above the knee and they were tweens. Tweens. Wtf! At a conservative synagogue! THAT is alarming. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/33 "2011-10-01T07:19:42Z")
I hate both situations, but I go with the looks under age. I’ve been at weddings, parties, etc., and I’m a short guy. I tend to look for the small, cute and sexy factor. One time at a wedding, one hot girl was there with her boyfriend (booo!) but she had a little sister, and they both looked young, almost like twins. The one with the boyfriend was drinking from the bar, so I thought her sis was, maybe, 23-24. SHE WAS 15!!! :smack: Then the opposite another time when a girl looked waaaay too young and she was actually chatting ME up! I paid no real attention to her and she left later. My friends were like, “Dude, she loved you! She’s 28!!” :smack::smack: ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/34 "2011-10-01T16:52:55Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Have you been waiting until this thread was old enough for you to post in it? That made me laugh out loud! > [@DemiserofD](#): > > Girls having children at 12 or 13 was extremely common…many people think that Mary, from the bible, was around that age when she became pregnant, so this has been happening for 2000 years. God is such a pedo! > [@DemiserofD](#): > > Pertaining to the question…i believe that it is the intent that matters, not the age. You do not intend to hurt the person in question. Isn’t that good enough? Age means nothing, so long as your intentions are good. A good person with good intent will do far less damage to an underage girl, than a bad person with bad intent will do to a legal girl. > > And that’s all i have to say about that. Well, yes, but I suspect that most actual pedophiles do not actually _want_ or _intend_ to harm children. They probably like to imagine having some sort of mutually fulfilling sexual relationship (even if they are smart enough to know that that is not a realistic hope). They are still going to harm the children, though, if they actually indulge their desires. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/35 "2011-10-01T17:01:40Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > God is such a pedo! Well, God does love all his children, right? He must love zombies, too. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/36 "2011-10-01T17:23:57Z")
> [@DemiserofD](#): > > Another thing to consider is that in olden times, girls would be married EXTREMELY young. Not just baby marriages, either; girls would be married as young as 8 or 9 years old, and they would very soon take up all the same duties as any wife. Girls having children at 12 or 13 was extremely common…many people think that Mary, from the bible, was around that age when she became pregnant, so this has been happening for 2000 years. Please provide us with a reputable citation that in “olden times” (and please let us know to which point in history you are referring to), girls would be habitually married at age 8 or 9, be expected to “take up the same duties,” and it would be “extremely common” for them to bear children at age 12 or 13. Refer to typical people, not aristocrats engaging in very young marriages for political purposes. Let us know at which point these girls would achieve menarche and be capable of bearing healthy children at age 12 or 13. Cite examples. Show your work. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/37 "2011-10-01T17:26:42Z")
Define worse. Back in college I had a couple incidents where I’d talk to a woman (there were 30k college students in my town) only to find out she was a high school student instead of in college. So I’d back off, but that is a very dangerous issue. They should make women under 18 wear armbands or something so you know who is under 18, or at the very least tell them to stop dressing like hookers. If you are hitting on women who are in their 20s and who you know are in their 20s but look like teenagers, that isn’t really bothersome to me because that is just a thought. I wouldn’t do it, but if that is your thing then go ahead. Just as long as you know they are over 18. Hitting on someone you actually think is 13, then being surprised to find out they are actually in their 20s is weird. Take Spanky G who used to be the drummer in the bloodhound gang. Due to a kidney disorder when he was 17/18 he looked like he was 12. There is a pretty good shot of him at around 4:40 [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/RJfFf1JJImY/hqdefault.jpg "Bloodhound Gang Fire Water Burn") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJfFf1JJImY) [http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/pic200/drp100/p197/p19715unoki.jpg](http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/pic200/drp100/p197/p19715unoki.jpg) If some woman who knew he was 18 or so when that video was made liked him because he looked young, that is her thing. Midgets and people with endocrine problems need love too. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/38 "2011-10-01T17:37:51Z")
> [@apollonia](#): > > Please provide us with a reputable citation that in “olden times” (and please let us know to which point in history you are referring to), girls would be habitually married at age 8 or 9, be expected to “take up the same duties,” and it would be “extremely common” for them to bear children at age 12 or 13. Refer to typical people, not aristocrats engaging in very young marriages for political purposes. Let us know at which point these girls would achieve menarche and be capable of bearing healthy children at age 12 or 13. Cite examples. Show your work. I am not sure the burden of proof is on **DemiserofD** here. What s/he said is pretty widely believed. I am not saying it is true (I don’t really know), but if you happen to know better, you should be telling us how _you_ know. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968/39 "2011-10-01T17:47:36Z")
It was my understanding that women may be \*betrothed \* (which in some circles has the legal implications of a bed-marriage) but not having sexual relations (aka ‘married’ married) and that in early Roman times, betrothed women may seal the deal around fifteen or so. Not eight years of age. Obviously that’s going to vary from culture to culture and throughout different time periods. Not sure which ‘olden days’ you refer to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-worse-underage-girls-who-look-act-much-older-or-girls-who-look-underage/265968.md?page=1)