# what is wrong with guys?! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 20, 2003, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825 "2003-01-20T17:40:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/21 "2003-01-20T23:06:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mith \* > \*\*With all do respect, you sound like a victim. \*\* So…Where was it that you got your Pop-Psychology degree again? Just curious, because your ability to diagnose someone as a “victim” by reading a mere ONE post, is quite impresive. :rolleyes: **rowanashe** - I hope you feel better. Sometimes people do really, really jerky things. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/22 "2003-01-21T00:29:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rowanashe \* > **What is so wrong with honesty?** If you look for tenderness, it isn’t hard to find; you can have the love you need to live. But if you look for truthfulness, you might just as well be blind. It always seems to be so hard to give. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/23 "2003-01-21T00:58:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cervaise \* > \*\*If you look for tenderness, it isn’t hard to find; you can have the love you need to live. But if you look for truthfulness, you might just as well be blind. It always seems to be so hard to give. \*\* Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaasse!!! In the name of all that is good and right, the songs of Billy Joel should **not** be used as a reference point in meaningful discussions. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/24 "2003-01-21T01:11:59Z")
Since when do women want honesty? Do you think I’m fat? Do you think she’ prettier than me? God forbid you say yes to one of these (among other thousands I omitted) Nope. Women want sweet lies that make them feel warm and fuzzy inside. They will pick a guy and disregard any bad qualities he has thinking they can change him. And when it doesn’t work, they will accuse him of making them miserable. What the hell? Women are crazy ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/25 "2003-01-21T01:22:39Z")
Annnnnnnd the pendulum swings back… ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/26 "2003-01-21T01:24:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gozu \* > \*\*Since when do women want honesty? > Do you think I’m fat? > Do you think she’ prettier than me? > > God forbid you say yes to one of these (among other thousands I omitted) > > Nope. Women want sweet lies that make them feel warm and fuzzy inside. They will pick a guy and disregard any bad qualities he has thinking they can change him. And when it doesn’t work, they will accuse him of making them miserable. What the hell? > > Women are crazy \*\* Well, no girlfriend of mine has ever asked me either of those questions, nor any of the other stereotypical things so loved by second-rate TV shows. I’m not saying that it never happens, only that generalizing to the whole sex is pretty lame. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/27 "2003-01-21T02:14:04Z")
I want to know what’s the dilly-o with this “we dated for 16 and a half years” (or 2, or 4 or 9 months) but as soon as the relationship is over it’s all like “THAT FILTHY CUNT I HATE HIM SO MUCH WAH”. Or how it’s not okay for anyone you even remotely know (sister, friend, girl who works at Starbucks) to date someone that you used to. Because if they do - it’s blackball those DIRTY SLUTS STAY AWAY FROM MY (ex)-MAN BIYAAATCH. Makes no sense. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/28 "2003-01-21T02:40:10Z")
I dunno. I give my ex dudes tips on how to pick up chicks. Once they’re not with me anymore they’re free to date anyone they want, including my friends. ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/29 "2003-01-21T03:56:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mhendo \* > **Hey, i was going to offer my services too (non-violent, of course), until i read the following:** ::clears throat:: Well, I was offering a different kind of services… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/30 "2003-01-21T04:33:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rowanashe \* > \*\*What is it about [people] that they say they care about you and love you but the second you’re gone they date your friend and say they were miserable the whole time they were with you? > > \*\* Honesty is not easy. We’re not trained for it. Guys without balls find it difficult to hurt someone’s feelings. But, many guys with balls will hurt your feelings and not even know it, or care. Balls, honesty, and love are not the same thing. I’ll bet you _knew_ something was wrong with this guy a long time ago but didn’t say it. Were you completely honest with him? I doubt it. Not that it makes the situation any less painful. ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/31 "2003-01-21T05:49:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferret Herder \* > **Do you have your suits tailored without any shoulder pads? Tell them you don’t want a cut where the suit is angled in towards the waist to make yourself look more slim and athletic?** Hmm, a civil and thoughtful response in the Pit. I hardly know how to respond. Anyway, if a man wore a suit, elevator shoes or a bratwurst so as to add several inches to his physique, he’s seen as a fraud. I don’t angle any clothes to make myself look slimmer. If I’m in need of that, I’d better change my diet or hit the gym. > [@](#): > > The point is, **many** of the things you cited are common, everyday grooming and clothing choices for women, just like the ones I cited for men. Bleaching hair the shade of melted butter is not a grooming issue. Neither is jamming the bosom up to the collarbone in a padded bra. And control-top pantyhose is a grooming issue? Shaving _is_ a grooming issue, but if you shave, you really shave. You’re not faking anything. > [@](#): > > I’d tend to think that once a woman spent a year and a half with a guy, he would know exactly how big her breasts are, if she has a slightly bulging tummy or no, if she gets pimples or doesn’t have naturally rosy cheeks, if those red highlights are real. So the deception is okay because he will find out? A woman does not have to spend a year and a half with a guy to find out things like what he does for a living, what his corporate title is, what neighborhood he lives in, etc. Women check this things out right away, but an awful lot of them coyly deny these things are important. On the issue of honesty, it is entirely dishonest to say that you are dating a man because of his “sense of humor” or “his nice personality” when the first thing you checked was his bank balance. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/32 "2003-01-21T06:07:14Z")
Is anyone else thinking that **Pucky** has a pretty big chip on his shoulder? For what it’s worth, I make about 4 times as much $$ as my boyfriend, and I really don’t care. I find it rather offensive that you’re suggesting that the reason I’m dating my beau, or the reason that any woman dates a man, is financial. Are there gold diggers out there? Of course. Are all women gold diggers? Of course not, irrespective of if they wear a push up bra. ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/33 "2003-01-21T06:11:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > **I find it rather offensive that you’re suggesting that the reason I’m dating my beau, or the reason that any woman dates a man, is financial.** Nah, never said it, Alice. Said it was dishonest for a woman to go that route and pretend she’s not. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/34 "2003-01-21T06:15:21Z")
You suggested it here: > [@](#): > > Women check this things out right away, but an awful lot of them coyly deny these things are important. meaning that even those that deny it are really money grubbing cows. No? That’s how I read it. Besides, in my experience, women that are after $$ are generally pretty up front about it. ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/35 "2003-01-21T06:23:48Z")
> [@](#): > > ## \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* \*\*You suggested it here: quote: > > Women check this things out right away, but an awful lot of them coyly deny these things are important. > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------\*\* Alice, I’d say you inferred it there. Let’s be honest about something. Woman says she’s dating a new guy and what’s the first question? “What’s he do for a living?” The other side of the coin is men checking out how a woman looks. Of course we do it. Most of us are honest enough to admit it. > [@](#): > > meaning that even those that deny it are really money grubbing cows. No? Si, no. Meaning that the money grubbers who deny it are dishonest money grubbers. > [@](#): > > Besides, in my experience, women that are after $$ are generally pretty up front about it. Good on them. Honesty saves everyone time. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/36 "2003-01-21T06:28:15Z")
Actually, **Pucky** , I’m dating my boyfriend 'cus he’s got a really great ass. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/37 "2003-01-21T06:47:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*Actually, **Pucky** , I’m dating my boyfriend 'cus he’s got a really great ass. :rolleyes: \*\* Men are _so_ exploited these day. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/38 "2003-01-21T06:58:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*Besides, in my experience, women that are after $$ are generally pretty up front about it. \*\* So, **alice** , when was the last time you talked to a hooker? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. (No, really, I mean it.) **rowanashe** , I feel your pain, as anyone who’s read the Pit threads I’ve posted about my ex-girlfriends can testify to. I wish I had some answers, but I don’t. All I know is that being alone and alive beats being dead, and some days that’s the only thing that keeps me going. I hope that you find the peace and happiness which has eluded me so far. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/39 "2003-01-21T07:30:54Z")
I dislike the “there’s one common denominator in all your relationships … you!” line of argument. Because it’s almost always wrong. Take the average person - they probably have romantic relationships with a single gender. Therefore, that gender is another common denominator in all their relationships. Maybe they always had relationships with people who were older than them. Then age is another common denominator. This is not to say that a person can’t be the primary reason behind their bad relationships. It’s just that I dislike that particular line. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825/40 "2003-01-21T15:09:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*So, **alice** , when was the last time you talked to a hooker? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. (No, really, I mean it.) > \*\* Well, I went to college with a girl that used to stuff a banana up her crotch so her “Sugar Daddy” would give her money for smokes and beer. Does that count? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-guys/149825.md?page=3)