# What is wrong with these women around me? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 25, 2016, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131 "2016-04-25T22:56:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![phreak9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/45deac/32.png) [@phreak9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phreak9)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/1 "2016-04-25T22:56:50Z")
I am in my mid 30’s and this is what I see from women around my age. Half dont work!! HALF!!! -3 are on disability or welfare and 2 of them are clearly faking it or embellishing it as they seem to have no problems or show signs of problems from the ailments they supposedly have. 1 likes to sit around doing painkillers all day and never seeks any actual treatment for her ailment even when her dad offered to pay for it. 1 ‘cant feel my fingertips’. Really!!! ??? So no work for you then for the rest of your life?!? And she is planning on having 3 kids soon!!! She lives and rents in one of the most expensive cities in the country and we are paying for it! She is ultra super feminist too. Its just embarrassing for feminism. No money, no car, just a government check. I used to be so liberal too. 1 was fired and is milking unemployment for the foreseeable future. -2 are still living off of daddies money. Free car, free rent, bad decisions, so daddy pulled back the handout but still gives them plenty to get by. -2 are stay at home moms but their whopping $15 or less per hour job wasnt really going to keep the family afloat anyway. In their defense their kids are fun, polite, and hilarious but the moms spend a lot of time reading cheesy romance books and watching tv. -5 have college degrees and 2 of them are the bread winners. So I ask you what is wrong with these women around me? Did half these women already give up? Like life is too hard? Will they eventually get jobs or try harder? Is this a pattern that some women start falling apart by their mid 30’s and thats that? I never thought while dating my pickup line would be ‘do you have at least a part time job?’ I can maybe name 1 guy without a job and he is temporarily a stay at home dad raising 5 kids. ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/2 "2016-04-25T23:01:13Z")
The complete opposite of what I experience. (Young) Women are harder working, more ambitious, and well-paid. Do you live in a welfare housing unit? ---
**Author:** ![phreak9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/45deac/32.png) [@phreak9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phreak9)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/3 "2016-04-25T23:29:20Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > The complete opposite of what I experience. > > (Young) Women are harder working, more ambitious, and well-paid. > > Do you live in a welfare housing unit? I live in the city. A nice part of it too! Im wondering if im having bad luck or its a fluke or if i should be preparing for this to be a normal thing as women get into their 30’s. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/4 "2016-04-25T23:43:57Z")
Why are you hanging out with losers? Or a better question…why do you feel that your personal experience is representative of the greater population? ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/5 "2016-04-25T23:45:21Z")
> [@phreak9](#): > > I live in the city. A nice part of it too! Im wondering if im having bad luck or its a fluke or if i should be preparing for this to be a normal thing as women get into their 30’s. This sounds like a fluke to me. Offhand, I can’t think of any women who don’t work at least part time professional jobs, and even those part time working women have young children at home. I’ve know a couple of people on disability and they’ve all been men. I’ve know a couple of stay at home moms, but not on welfare. I’ve known a stay at home husband. Also not on welfare. Where did you meet these women? Am I right that they’re potential dates? Perhaps try a better local. Are you attracted to a particular type of woman? What are the men like in your social circle? What kind of jobs do they have? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/6 "2016-04-26T00:06:16Z")
I think most of what you’re seeing is a combination of recession and its aftermath producing more disability seekers and adult children who stay financially dependent longer—which is not a gender-specific phenomenon—with traditional gender expectations about homemaker/breadwinner roles (although as your own experience indicates, that’s becoming less gendered too). > [@phreak9](#): > > -3 are on disability or welfare and 2 of them are clearly faking it or embellishing it as they seem to have no problems or show signs of problems from the ailments they supposedly have IANAD and even if I were I couldn’t diagnose your acquaintances over the internet, but there are indeed [growing numbers of disability claims these days](http://apps.npr.org/unfit-for-work/), which translates to more people on disability. AFAICT, however, that’s not a “women thing”, it’s a “worker thing”: > [@](#): > > I stood with workers in a dead mill in Aberdeen, Washington and memorialized the era when you could graduate from high school and get a job at a mill and live a good life. […] > > But after I got interested in disability, I followed up with some of the guys to see what happened to them after the mill closed. One of them, Scott Birdsall, went to lots of meetings where he learned about retraining programs and educational opportunities. At one meeting, he says, a staff member pulled him aside. > > “Scotty, I’m gonna be honest with you,” the guy told him. “There’s nobody gonna hire you […] Just suck all the benefits you can out of the system until everything is gone, and then you’re on your own.” […] > > There used to be a lot of jobs that you could do with just a high school degree, and that paid enough to be considered middle class. I knew, of course, that those have been disappearing for decades. What surprised me was what has been happening to many of the people who lost those jobs: They’ve been going on disability. […] > > Scott’s dad had a heart attack and went back to work in the mill. If there’d been a mill for Scott to go back to work in, he says, he’d have done that too. But there wasn’t a mill, so he went on disability. It wasn’t just Scott. I talked to a bunch of mill guys who took this path – one who shattered the bones in his ankle and leg, one with diabetes, another with a heart attack. When the mill shut down, they all went on disability. > [@phreak9](#): > > -2 are still living off of daddies money. Free car, free rent, bad decisions, so daddy pulled back the handout but still gives them plenty to get by. I know several 20-something and 30-something guys in that situation too. As others have noted, the pattern seems to be that young women are **more** likely to be fully employed/living independently than their male peers. > [@phreak9](#): > > -2 are stay at home moms […] the moms spend a lot of time reading cheesy romance books and watching tv. > > -5 have college degrees and 2 of them are the bread winners. If I’m understanding your correctly, this means that in your own circle of acquaintances you’ve got two stay-at-home wives and two stay-at-home husbands. Are the stay-at-home husbands working super hard all day at stuff that’s more worthwhile than “cheesy romance books” and TV? Or do unemployed homemakers deserve to be chastised for having easy duties and a fair amount of leisure only when they happen to be female? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/7 "2016-04-26T00:17:23Z")
Rants (particularly based on anecdotes) are not Great Debates. Off to The BBQ Pit. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/8 "2016-04-26T00:34:06Z")
Yeah, that’s what chicks are like now. Thanks, Hilllary! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/9 "2016-04-26T01:11:49Z")
I was waiting for the part about bon-bons. _No bon-bons!?!?!?_ ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/10 "2016-04-26T01:23:50Z")
Yes. Women suck. Have you met Handsome Harry? ETA: Ah, I see that phreak9 has a [few issues with women](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=19073804&postcount=768). Otherwise known as herpes-infected, lazy sluts. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/11 "2016-04-26T01:38:56Z")
I can think of one thing all these awful women have in common. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/12 "2016-04-26T02:20:26Z")
> [@andros](#): > > I can think of one thing all these awful women have in common. They can all do better than **phreak9**? ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/13 "2016-04-26T02:57:27Z")
So half of the women you know don’t work - what about the men you know? 100% employed? And virtually all women have herpes. Good to know. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/14 "2016-04-26T03:17:25Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I was waiting for the part about bon-bons. _No bon-bons!?!?!?_ Hey! I’ve been a SAHM. Those bon-bons DO NOT EAT THEMSELVES! ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/15 "2016-04-26T03:25:34Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Hey! I’ve been a SAHM. Those bon-bons DO NOT EAT THEMSELVES! You know, I’ve heard this stereotype my whole life. I am still not really clear on what a bon-bon actually is. Why the sudden infestation of sexist posters lately? Did someone leave a bag of Cheetoes open on the kitchen counter or something? Or is it my imagination? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/16 "2016-04-26T03:29:10Z")
Well, even though this may not be in _L’esprit De La Pitte,_ I’ll interject a serious reply and say that you are hanging out with an unfortunate choice of women. Of the first 10 women I thought of, 10 are employed (and probably making more than I do, dammit!), though one is half-time because she’s going back to school. The married ones are all in two-income families. None are on painkillers, though Kate and Jamie have been known to hit the prescription margaritas pretty hard. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/17 "2016-04-26T03:42:22Z")
Most of the women I know are employed. The company you keep should be re-evaluated if you are running into this. People tend to become friends with people of similar socioeconomic status and personality. ---
**Author:** ![mind\_the\_gap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@mind\_the\_gap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mind_the_gap)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/18 "2016-04-26T04:31:52Z")
> [@small hen](#): > > you know, i’ve heard this stereotype my whole life. I am still not really clear on what a bon-bon actually is. > > **why the sudden infestation of sexist posters lately? Did someone leave a bag of cheetoes open on the kitchen counter or something?** or is it my imagination? Ladies and Gentlemen we have a winner. (embolding mine) ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/19 "2016-04-26T04:33:38Z")
I don’t know who these people are that manage to get on disability who don’t really need it because I had a “four tier diagnosis” which my caseworker said virtually assured I’d get it but I lost and lost my appeal as well. Three years I was assured I’d get it if I was patient and went through their hoops and got my paperwork turned in with all the Ts crossed. Yet everyone seems to know not one but several people on disability that don’t deserve it. You can’t “fake” the need for TANF but if they’re outright lying about their assets they should be reported. I was on it briefly but I got kicked off because I couldn’t work and hadn’t been approved for disability. They require you to work at least 30 hours unless you’re disabled or pregnant/have a baby under age one or a dependent with a severe disability. It was only 142 dollars a month anyway, hardly enough to live on. Maybe your friends are sicker than you realize? Maybe you just hang around some messed up people. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131/20 "2016-04-26T04:38:24Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > You know, I’ve heard this stereotype my whole life. I am still not really clear on what a bon-bon actually is. > > Why the sudden infestation of sexist posters lately? Did someone leave a bag of Cheetoes open on the kitchen counter or something? Or is it my imagination? [Bonbon](http://www.oatmealwithafork.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/bb11.jpg). (at least what I picture when i hear the word). > [@digs](#): > > Well, even though this may not be in _L’esprit De La Pitte,_ I’ll interject a serious reply and say that you are hanging out with an unfortunate choice of women. > > Of the first 10 women I thought of, 10 are employed (and probably making more than I do, dammit!), though one is half-time because she’s going back to school. > The married ones are all in two-income families. > > None are on painkillers, though Kate and Jamie have been known to hit the prescription margaritas pretty hard. I have to agree with this. As a woman who works 40+ a week, I cast my mind to other women- and ALL of the women who came to mind are gainfully employed. My sister used to be a SAHM, but worked her ass off going to school in addition to taking care of three kids, and is now a special education teacher. SAHMs work _hard_ even if they aren’t also going to school, but honestly, I have to stretch to come up with even acquaintances who are completely unemployed (retired doesn’t count). I know I know \*some \*, but most people I see regularly are employed. And, per the earlier post the OP made, only 2 people I know have genital herpes - one man, one woman. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-wrong-with-these-women-around-me/753131.md?page=2)