# What is your absolutely brilliant idea/invention? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2018, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755 "2018-05-24T20:50:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/1 "2018-05-24T20:50:41Z")
Not (apparently, to others) stupid ideas, like my Solar-Powered Umbrella, but something along the lines of…The Caffeiderm Patch-Timed release caffeine that keeps you going all day. Yours? ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/2 "2018-05-24T21:13:00Z")
A pen with a heated tip for signing on thermal paper like credit card slips. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/3 "2018-05-24T21:24:12Z")
A large rubber hand that comes out from the computer USB port for remotely slapping people you hate, really really hard. Originally it was only for users who ask me stupid questions. But I’ve expanded the technology to the interwebs and mobile devices. The next version will be designed as an IoT solution. Of course, this being my invention, I have a personal blocker with return to sender on all my devices. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/4 "2018-05-24T21:30:03Z")
Does it have to be plausible? If it has to be plausible, I got nothin’. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/5 "2018-05-24T21:31:05Z")
A back pack vacuum cleaner that looks very space age, cordless, has a power telescoping wand, (for ceiling cobwebs!), great suction, and makes a very cool sound as sucks things in. Plus a high setting with a throaty power sound. If you could get men to _want_ to clean house, you’ll be a millionaire many times over! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/6 "2018-05-24T21:32:53Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > A back pack vacuum cleaner that looks very space age, cordless, has a power telescoping wand, (for ceiling cobwebs!), great suction, and makes a very cool sound as sucks things in. Plus a high setting with a throaty power sound. > > If you could get men to _want_ to clean house, you’ll be a millionaire many times over! An anti-leaf blower? Cool!. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/7 "2018-05-24T21:53:56Z")
This one’s actually serious; I’m surprised HP or Canon don’t have it on the market. A multifunction printer/copier with an autonomous output stage. In a large office, you have MFPs around and anyone can print to them. But then you have to go over to it and get your papers. My invention would have the output tray part of the machine detach itself, roll its way among the cubicles, and deliver the papers to the desk the job came from. Of course, most office drones could use the minimal exercise involved in fetching their pages. The thing would sell well anyway. ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/8 "2018-05-24T21:56:37Z")
We’ve done this before. I submit, again: Wall mounted dispenser in your bathroom that delivers a naked sterile band-aid out of a slot a a touch of a button. No fooling with boxes or wrappers or little red strings. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/9 "2018-05-24T22:54:22Z")
> [@campp](#): > > We’ve done this before. > > I submit, again: Wall mounted dispenser in your bathroom that delivers a naked sterile band-aid out of a slot a a touch of a button. No fooling with boxes or wrappers or little red strings. How about a liquid bandage dispenser that scans then sprays? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/10 "2018-05-24T23:18:05Z")
Mine was a business idea not an invention. A national chain of lottery stores that sold out-of-state lottery tickets. So instead of having to play whatever lottery your home state is running, you could play any lottery in the country. To a large extent, this concept has been superseded by Mega Millions and Powerball, which are multi-state lotteries. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2018, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/11 "2018-05-25T00:24:37Z")
Nice try. Send me $10,000 and we’ll talk. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2018, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/12 "2018-05-25T00:33:44Z")
Special container caps for beer/wine/liquor bottles, etc. with puzzles or riddles that require you to solve them in order to open them. Once you get inebriated to a certain point, you cannot solve them anymore and can’t drink any further. ---
**Author:** ![CharmaChameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@CharmaChameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CharmaChameleon)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2018, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/13 "2018-05-25T00:35:20Z")
A very programmable landline/VoIP telephone system that intercepts calls (no ring signal, etc.) until the advertised incoming name and/or number has/have been scanned from your contact list. Since your contact list is already sorted, at least on the name, it would be a very fast binary search–10 or fewer checks in a 1024 entry list, and of course there’s nothing to prevent a sorted external number list. If the external information matches your “whitelist”, then ring the phone. Here’s the evil genius part for when the name and/or number is not found in your contact list (choose one, randomly): Forward the call to randomly chosen non-local law enforcement. Pick a television channel you consider to be absolutely annoying and “answer” the call for 10 seconds with whatever the audio stream just happens to be. Dead silence for a period of time, then some well-chosen sound effects, for example. Use your own imagination. It’s difficult to believe this is not already possible! I’d pay extra for this kind of capability. (Why? It’s political primary season in this State. Any questions?) ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2018, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/14 "2018-05-25T04:42:43Z")
CharmaChameleon, I have a Digitone call blocker that exactly matches your first paragraph and then some since it can vary the lists according to time of day and other things. But then it just hangs up. How about, after ending the call it calls them back with a spoofed number so they get to wonder who is calling? Dennis ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2018, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/15 "2018-05-25T05:06:49Z")
My brilliant idea occurred to me in the late 1980s: a recumbent tricycle propelled by rowing motions. After the Web got going, I did a search and found that was thought in the earliest days of bicycles and was revived many times. The idea always went nowhere because there was no reliable way to steer. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2018, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/16 "2018-05-25T05:28:55Z")
Room buses. Since you have to run wires through the walls to the outlets anyway, why not just build a bus slot around 3 sides, at an appropriate height (one to two feet). The slot would have a more exposed neutral on the bottom, a recessed hot side on top and probably a cover flap or brush. Plugs would be a flat tab with a hooked lead that would be lifted and pulled back into the hot while contacting the neutral below. This would mean that you would never have to search for an outlet, because you could plug into the bus anywhere. And the plugs would (probably) be less susceptible to getting prongs bent (having none). ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2018, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/17 "2018-05-25T05:50:12Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Mine was a business idea not an invention. > > A national chain of lottery stores that sold out-of-state lottery tickets. So instead of having to play whatever lottery your home state is running, you could play any lottery in the country. > > To a large extent, this concept has been superseded by Mega Millions and Powerball, which are multi-state lotteries. Some startups are doing that world-wide. ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2018, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/18 "2018-05-25T06:41:44Z")
a device to dispense sedatives into your pet’s water so that it sleeps all day for 6 weeks while you’re away in Dallas or wherever. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2018, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/19 "2018-05-25T07:39:43Z")
When it rains at Wrigley Field, instead of rolling a tarp out to cover the infield, just park a helicopter behind the pitcher’s mount. Start 'er up and reverse the rotor, to blow air upwards. The upward draft will blow all the rain outside the perimeter of the prop wash, and leave the infield dry and ready to resume play immediately. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2018, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755/20 "2018-05-25T11:23:03Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > When it rains at Wrigley Field, instead of rolling a tarp out to cover the infield, just park a helicopter behind the pitcher’s mount. Start 'er up and reverse the rotor, to blow air upwards. The upward draft will blow all the rain outside the perimeter of the prop wash, and leave the infield dry and ready to resume play immediately. 1. definitely not cost effective. 2. you a greatly overestimating how much water would be dispelled. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-absolutely-brilliant-idea-invention/814755.md?page=2)