# What is YOUR battle cry?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 24, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602 "2003-09-24T18:26:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/61 "2003-09-25T15:59:35Z")

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My username generated this:

> [@](#):
>
> What Is Your Battle Cry?
> 
> Zang! Who is that, rampaging across the freeway! It is **BMALION** , hands clutching a thorned whip! And with an ominous howl, his voice cometh:
> 
> “I’m going to strike a match on your crotch, and set you ablaze!!!”

zang?  
but my real-life battle cry is…

> [@](#):
>
> “By Grabthar’s hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged.”

ok, so I stole it, so sue me.  
halberds, schmalberds… give me a glave!

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**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/62 "2003-09-25T16:11:38Z")

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Putting in my SDMB instead of my real name comes up with this one:

Skulking out of the tarmac, brandishing buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Ivylass! And she gives a booming bellow:

“I’m seriously going to spank you so hard, your pets won’t recognize you!!!”

I like my real name one better. There’s something about voiding warranties and sending people back to God that seems very witty. With any luck, the enemy will collapse on the ground laughing, then I can smack him with my hardened pitas with no resistance. 😉

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**Author:** ![Nuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea666f/32.png) [@Nuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nuke)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/63 "2003-09-25T18:58:04Z")

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Skulking out of the icy wasteland, swinging a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Nuke! And he gives a cruel scream:

“I’m seriously going to fuck you like a wrecking ball, and plug you into a power plant!”

😃

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**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/64 "2003-09-25T19:24:59Z")

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\*Striding amidst the mini-mall parking lot, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using an oversized scalpel, cometh Avarie! And she gives a low bellow:

“I’m going to smash you until you are no longer smashable!”\*

And my real name produces:

\*Prowling along the wasteland, carrying a bladed baseball bat, cometh \*\*\*\*\*\*! And she gives a vengeful bellow:

“I’m seriously going to contort you until there are no limbs left to break!”\*

Pretty lame.

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**Author:** ![Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horrifying_Howler_Monkey)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/65 "2003-09-25T19:34:12Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \*  
> \*\*They also have a backspike or hook on 'em.  
> Backspike–for a backhand blow.  
> Hook–for killing Peter Pan.  
> 😃  
> Actually, for pulling a rider off his horse. \*\*

I never knew such a thing existed, I think I need one those. I don’t know why, but I do.

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**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/66 "2003-09-25T21:48:06Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Mr. Blue Sky \*  
> \*\*“Bring me my brown pants!” \*\*

Ahhhhh, Brown Pants for Brown Magic!?

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**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/67 "2003-09-25T21:49:54Z")

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Website :  
Yea, verily: Who is that, sprinting amidst the terrain! It is **TPWombat** , hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! And with an ominous cry, his voice cometh:

“I’m going to spank you until you’re translucent, and launch you into deep space!!!”

Personal :

**"I don’t want to be here!!!**"

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**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/68 "2003-09-25T22:05:41Z")

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Striding across the cliffs, carrying a sharpened screwdriver, cometh **Malacandra!** And he gives a bloodthirsty bellow:

“I’m going to forcibly reverse your gender!!!”

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**Author:** ![tolyri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@tolyri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tolyri)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/69 "2003-09-25T23:43:54Z")

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Striding over the tundra, carrying a meaty axe, cometh Tolyri! And she gives a vengeful scream:

“Blood and souls for my dark lord! I lay waste to all I see until Satan himself emerges from the pit to thank me!”  
In reality: “I’m gonna beat you like you stole my cookie!”  
(1,000,000,000 bonus points to whomever gets the reference.)

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**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/70 "2003-09-26T01:09:27Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by GIGObuster \*  
> **So, what was the medieval guy’s battle cry? “I’m going to go Spartan on your ass!”**

Ever since I saw _Pulp Fiction_ I’ve wanted to see a symphony conductor menace his audience with “We’re going to get TWENTIETH CENTURY on your ass!”

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**Author:** ![Mirasol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Mirasol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirasol)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/71 "2003-09-26T01:33:40Z")

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What? No one yet uses “For the shire!” ?

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**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/72 "2003-09-26T01:51:21Z")

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I’ve been reading Eric Flint’s 1632, and I like the battle cry of the Finns, _Haakaa paalle!_(Hack them down!)

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**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/73 "2003-09-26T01:59:36Z")

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Hmmm…

> [@](#):
>
> Who is that, running amidst the plains! It is JRDelirious, hands clutching two hardened pitas! And with a gutteral howl, his voice cometh:
> 
> “I’m seriously going to defoul you so utterly, Jesus himself will forsake you!!”

has a nice ring to it…

> [@](#):
>
> Who is that, skulking along the terrain! It is \*\*\*\*, hands clutching a meaty axe! He screams ominously:
> 
> “I’m going to fuck you to the moon and back, and hit you with a steamroller!!”

does not so much.

OTOH I prefer a Battle Cry lifted from another cultural genre source: “Your death was assured when you showed up with that face!”

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**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/74 "2003-09-26T02:29:34Z")

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\*Sprinting along the wasteland, attacking with a reflective halberd, cometh Sinshine! And she gives a gutteral bellow:

“I’m seriously going to bludgeon you so heinously, your reincarnation will be a scientific anomaly!!”\*

Or, as I really do say, _May you be a black hole in your next life._

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**Author:** ![Akaadji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@Akaadji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaadji)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/75 "2003-09-26T02:34:04Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Hark! Who is that, striding on the icy wasteland! It is **Ri-chan** , hands clutching a reflective halberd! She bellows homicidally:
> 
> “I’m going to smash you until you are no longer smashable!”

Uh…well, I like ice, and halberds are cool…^^() Let’s see with my real name…

> [@](#):
>
> Zang! Who is that, prowling across the terrain! It is _snip_, hands clutching a studded crowbar! And with a mighty howl, her voice cometh:
> 
> “For the love of carnage and discord, I desecrate until my loins find satisfaction!”

:eek: Uh…yes…I like my username better…

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**Author:** ![the\_Scarlet\_Pimpernel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f1d935/32.png) [@the\_Scarlet\_Pimpernel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Scarlet_Pimpernel)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/76 "2003-09-26T07:53:14Z")

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Yea, verily: Who is that, stalking on the wasteland! It is **the Scarlet Pimpernel** , hands clutching buzzsaw hand extensions! She roars thunderously:

_ **"In the name of malice, the enemy is as grass before my mighty tempest!!!"** _

* * *

Who is that, skulking among the fields! It is {Scarlet’s real name}, hands clutching a mighty sword! She grunts apocalyptically:

_ **"Vengeance and goo flow from my veins! I hereby snap and go berzerk!!"** _

I think I like the second one better.

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**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/77 "2003-09-26T08:01:18Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Yea, verily: Who is that, striding across the mini-mall parking lot! It is Wolfman, hands clutching a burning branch! He howls gutterally:
> 
> “I’m going to punch you in such an unsafe manner, the devil himself will plead for mercy!!”

I actually kinda like that one.

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**Author:** ![H3Knuckles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@H3Knuckles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H3Knuckles)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/78 "2003-09-26T09:42:01Z")

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So here you go!

\<form action=“[http://bdmonkeys.net/~chaz/battle.php](http://bdmonkeys.net/~chaz/battle.php)” method=“get”\>\<table align=center width=400 cellpadding=4 cellspacing=1 border=0\>\<tr\>\<td bgcolor=black align=center\>\<p style=“color:red;font-family=‘times new roman’;font-size:16px;”\>\<b\>What Is Your Battle Cry?\</b\>\</p\>\</td\>\</tr\>\<tr\>\<td bgcolor="#ffbb77" align=center\>\<p style=“margin:10px;font-family:‘times new roman’;font-size:16px;color:#000;”\>\<font face=“old english text mt,old english text” size=+3\>S\</font\>triding on the desert, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a studded crowbar, cometh \<b\>H3Knuckles\</b\>! And he gives an ominous scream:\</p\>\<p style=“margin:11px;font-family:‘times new roman’;font-size:18px;color:#000;”\>\<b\>\<i\>“I’m going to pummel you until you are tax-deductible, and roll you in creamy neugut!!”\</i\>\</b\>\</p\>\</td\>\</tr\>\<tr\>\<td align=center bgcolor="#aaaaaa"\>\<p style=“font-family:‘times new roman’;font-size:14px;color:#000;”\>\<b\>Find out!\</b\>\<br /\>Enter username: \<input type=“text” name=“usrname” value=“H3Knuckles”\>\<br /\>Are you \<input type=“radio” name=“sex” value=“f”\>a girl, or \<input type=“radio” name=“sex” value=“m"checked\>a guy ?\<br /\>\<input type=submit value=“Submit”\>\</p\>\</td\>\</tr\>\<tr\>\<td bgcolor=black align=center\>\<p style=“color:red;font-family:‘times new roman’;font-size:12px;margin:0px;”\>\<b\>created by \<a href=“[http://www.livejournal.com/users/beatings/](http://www.livejournal.com/users/beatings/)”\>\<font color=”#cc00ff" face=“times new roman”\>beatings\</font\>\</a\> \</b\>:\<b\> powered by \<a href=“[http://www.bdmonkeys.net/](http://www.bdmonkeys.net/)”\>\<font color="#cc00ff" face=“times new roman”\>monkeys\</font\>\</a\>\</p\>\</td\>\</tr\>\</table\>\</form\>

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![H3Knuckles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@H3Knuckles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H3Knuckles)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/79 "2003-09-26T09:43:10Z")

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Dang! I thought that would work, sorry!

Striding on the desert, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a studded crowbar, cometh H3Knuckles! And he gives an ominous scream:

“I’m going to pummel you until you are tax-deductible, and roll you in creamy neugut!!”

That’s it! That’s my battlecry!

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**Author:** ![H3Knuckles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@H3Knuckles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H3Knuckles)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-battle-cry/203602/80 "2003-09-26T09:45:46Z")

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Zang! Who is that, sprinting over the freeway! It is Ranko Eisen, hands clutching two hardened pitas! She howls gutterally:

“I’m seriously going to f\*\*\* you until you are hot and bothered!!!”

…and this, apparently, is my girlfriend’s battlecry (using her net alias). woah.

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