# What is your Emergency Funny? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [November 25, 2020, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389 "2020-11-25T04:07:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/1 "2020-11-25T04:07:03Z")
The milk has gone sour, the beer has gone skunk, your goldfish ate your rare prize piranha, and your significant other has left you for a street busker in the vehicle you just paid off that morning. What is that one bit of humor you turn to that will make you laugh in any situation? Audio, video, readio…what is _your_ Emergency Funny? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/2 "2020-11-25T04:14:13Z")
I’ll just get your hors d’oeuvres: hors d’oeuvres which must be obeyed at all times, without question… ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/3 "2020-11-25T04:15:14Z")
Dennis Leary’s ‘No cure for cancer.’ It’s a dark, dark happiness of ‘yeah, the world is _bleeeep_’ but it helps me put things in perspective. A sample quote below in spoiler-vision due to profanity. > **Summary** > > # “Happiness comes in small doses folks. It’s a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You come, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to fucking work the next morning, THAT’S IT! End of fucking list! ” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/4 "2020-11-25T04:16:58Z")
Anything that John Finnemore wrote. Cabin Pressure, where Roger Allam and Benzedrine Cumberbund are hilariously mismatched pilots. John Finnemore’s Souvenir Programme, a sketch show. Both of those were live radio shows on BBC 4. Oh, and Double Acts, where he writes for a pair of performers. The one with Michael Palin and Doc Martin (Clunes?) is so sweet. https://www.youtube.com/embed/It6EWcVn8EY?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque&list=PLrcNrGNMiK5NetfNJGGf45l_2EBH7Ykmt Check out his new idea for dog shows, Pooh’s intervention, and the Ice Cream Van Painter! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/5 "2020-11-25T04:18:37Z")
Mine will always be Tim Conway’s elephant story. He was good…but Vicki Lawrence topping him brought down the house: [Carol Burnett Show outtakes - Tim Conway’s Elephant Story - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qqE_WmagjY) ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/6 "2020-11-25T04:56:29Z")
Galaxy Quest. I know it by heart. It’s never not funny. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/7 "2020-11-25T05:39:49Z")
I know this is going to shock everybody, but… _Futurama._ > [@Czarcasm](#): > > Mine will always be Tim Conway’s elephant story. He was good…but Vicki Lawrence topping him brought down the house: Excellent choice. ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/8 "2020-11-25T06:04:16Z")
Why do Norwegian ships have barcodes on them? … So that when they come back to port, they can… Scandinavian. … I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of this one. The first time I saw/read it, I went to work the next day and tried to tell it to my co-workers and couldn’t stop laughing at it long enough to actually tell the joke, which ended up making everyone else laugh. So at this point, I’m not even sure if it’s actually that funny on its own or if it’s like the [Debbie Downer](https://youtu.be/TfE93xON8jk) sketch, where it’s pretty funny, but mostly memorable for the way it all descended into chaos. Also, one of my friends (who was there at the time of the original attempted joke telling) will send it to me at random or if she knows I’m having a bad day. So it’s a goofy joke, a happy memory, and a message of love all rolled into one. Also, any and all [QI](https://youtu.be/GdvD4Fhc_K8) can be excellent for getting out of my head and forgetting about the world for a little while. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/9 "2020-11-25T06:06:08Z")
When I only have two minutes to laugh, this is my go-to: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/O9YL04v-J5U/maxresdefault.jpg "Bill Burr Doesn't Buy Oprah's Holier-Than-Thou Lance Armstrong Interview | CONAN on TBS") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9YL04v-J5U) It’s not just funny; watching Conan become incapacitated with laughter really puts this over the top for me. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/10 "2020-11-25T06:12:36Z")
_Mock The Week_ : _Scenes We’d Like To See_ supercuts, preferably from the Frankie Boyle era. Small sampler: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/5yMFEMr6TdU/maxresdefault.jpg "Mock the Week: The Best of Scenes We'd Like to See (Series 7)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yMFEMr6TdU) ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/11 "2020-11-25T06:13:49Z")
> [@SurrenderDorothy](#): > > Also, any and all [QI](https://youtu.be/GdvD4Fhc_K8) can be excellent for getting out of my head and forgetting about the world for a little while. YES!!! This is mine. For random funny I start searching for gag reels. The ones from IT crowd are particularly good. My go-to for when I’m sick is Bones, Season 1, especially the Christmas episode. Dr. Goodman’s statement, “You are stoned, Agent Booth” brings a smile to my face. > **[The Man in the Fallout Shelter](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_in_the_Fallout_Shelter)** > > "The Man in the Fallout Shelter" is the ninth episode of the first season of the television series, Bones. Originally aired on December 13, 2005 on FOX network, the episode is written by Hart Hanson and directed by Greg Yaitanes. The plot features FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth, Dr. Temperance Brennan and the rest of her team being forced to remain at the Jeffersonian Institute over the Christmas holiday. > This is a holiday episode based on events happening on Christmas Eve. On December 23, Booth... ---
**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/12 "2020-11-25T13:36:24Z")
> [@SurrenderDorothy](#): > > Also, any and all [QI](https://youtu.be/GdvD4Fhc_K8) can be excellent for getting out of my head and forgetting about the world for a little while. That is one of my favorite QI clips of all time. Another good source of laughs from British TV is _Would I Lie to You_, particularly any story told by [Bob Mortimer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsuuiVzS6Js). ---
**Author:** ![TheCuse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thecuse/32/2854_2.png) [@TheCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheCuse)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/13 "2020-11-25T13:44:29Z")
Great choice (i.e., Tim Conway and the elephant story). ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/14 "2020-11-25T13:52:57Z")
Monty Python and the Holy Grail ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/15 "2020-11-25T15:20:52Z")
[Swimming to Cambodia](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094089/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1). ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/16 "2020-11-25T16:01:29Z")
_My Favorite Year_, about a washed-up, stage-shy Errol Flynn type having to do a comedy show a la Sid Caeser’s _Your Show of Shows_, to save his ass with the IRS and thus get to stay in America. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/NMKvX5X_2Pg/hqdefault.jpg "My Favorite Year (1982) Sy Benson 3") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMKvX5X_2Pg) Stan “King” Kaiser (Caesar/Kaiser, get it?) winding up with the “shotgun” kills me _every, single time_. And the whole movie is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/17 "2020-11-25T16:14:08Z")
An absolute emergency? [Just over a minute of cricket commentary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ), which I’m sure must have been posted here many times before. j The inadvertent use of the phrase “get his leg over” (a euphemism) is what sets them off. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/18 "2020-11-25T17:03:19Z")
My emergency funny is this classic five minutes from _WKRP in Cincinatti._ [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/lf3mgmEdfwg/hqdefault.jpg "WKRP "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly" Thanksgiving") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf3mgmEdfwg) But here’s a whole thread devoted to Yakety Sax. > [@Is “Yakety Sax” inherently funny, or are we just conditioned into considering it funny by Benny Hill?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-yakety-sax-inherently-funny-or-are-we-just-conditioned-into-considering-it-funny-by-benny-hill/924942): > > Random question that came to mind just now. slight_smile ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/19 "2020-11-25T17:12:20Z")
Certain episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia will do the job for me. Charlie Day is one of the funniest people who ever lived in that role. If he doesn’t make you laugh your ass off then you never met a real idiot before. ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2020, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389/20 "2020-11-25T17:39:28Z")
I started watching Community (again after the first-run) on Netflix. Whenever there’s nothing new and worthwhile on Netflix, I’ll watch another episode or two. They always make me laugh. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-emergency-funny/926389.md?page=2)