# What is your epitath?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [January 23, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335 "2001-01-23T00:38:34Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/21 "2001-01-23T09:00:12Z")
I couldn’t come up with anything snappy, so how’s about:
“Here lies Spiny.
He loved life, tried not to hurt anyone
and laughed a lot. If he knew he was dead
he’d be mad. Spare him a thought sometime.”
- I can live with the thought of spending eternity under these words.
S. Norman
---
### Author:  [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/22 "2001-01-23T09:44:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by brachyrhynchos \*
> \*\*Here lies brachyrhynchos,
> Caws of death unknown.
>
> She lived the basic [ASCAR](http://www.azstarnet.com/~serres/) tenet with all her might,
> Being a long-time member true and strong,
> “All Corvis are always right and will be unequivocally supported by other Corvis unless they are wrong.” \*\*
Heh. I like that.
My personal choice:
“I have loved the stars to greatly to fear the darkness of the night”
This is a rough paraphrasing from a quote in **Carl Sagan’s** book _Cosmos_ (btw if anybody happens to have the exact quote handy, would you mind posting it? I had it written down at one point but I lost it).
I’m also partial to:
“Well now, _that_ was unexpected…”
---
### Author:  [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/23 "2001-01-23T11:41:18Z")
“Life in a box is better than no life at all.”
Tom Stoppard - _Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead_
[sub](BTW, **DRY** , if you’re using the _Hamlet_ quote, I wanna be buried next to you.)[/sub]
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### Author:  [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/24 "2001-01-23T12:36:46Z")
How about…
“Oh, so **NOW** you come by to visit!”
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### Author:  [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/25 "2001-01-23T13:55:28Z")
BROK LEE
1977-20XX
R.I.P.
(and in really really fine print…)
**broccoli!** is the Official **broccoli!** of the NFL, NBA, MLB, the NHL, and **Jester’s Imperical Legions**. Any use of **broccoli!**'s corpse without his expressed, written consent will result in an extremely horrible haunting. So there.
😃
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/26 "2001-01-23T14:20:14Z")
SISTE VIATOR -
HIC JACET
MATTHEW MCLAUCHLIN
MCMDCCCI - ?
“OBESA CANTAVIT”
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/27 "2001-01-23T14:22:17Z")
Or if I die serving some cause, it will read:
Matthew McLauchlin
October 14, 1981 - ?
They can cut all the flowers
but they will not stop spring
---
### Author:  [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/28 "2001-01-23T14:50:03Z")
“I’ll be back.”
::snicker::
Sorry…
😃
Or, “SMILE! You’re on Candid Camera!!”
Or, more seriously, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” It’s a line from a song (no idea which one, I hate that song).
---
### Author:  [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/29 "2001-01-23T14:54:13Z")
How about…
I’m buried face down; kiss my ass!
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/30 "2001-01-23T18:59:38Z")
Abort, Retry, Ignore ?
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### Author:  [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2001, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/31 "2001-01-23T22:13:42Z")
You can have my gun now…
I’m actually standing behind you right now…laughing at all the absurdities people thought were important.
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/32 "2001-01-24T02:58:12Z")
I’m gonna be real obscure. My cemetary plot overlooks the Great Lake where I was raised and where I live now, and the cemetary contains two sets of greatx3grandparents, one set of greatx2grandparents, and my parents. The stone will read:
Et Earello Endorenna Utulien. Sinome Maruvan Tenn’ Ambar-Metta!
It’s Quenya for “Out of the great sea of middle-earth I am come. Here I shall abide until the ending of the world!”
I think I’m the only one in the entire county who knows what it means.
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### Author:  [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2001, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/33 "2001-01-24T03:25:43Z")
I think the following would be rather fun:[ul]“Hi! I’m not alive right now, but if you’d like to leave a message…”[/ul]Of course, it’d work better if there was a blank piece of marble right at the gravesite with a hammer and chisel… but I suppose that’d be too elaborate?
~~Baloo
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### Author:  [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2001, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/34 "2001-01-24T03:25:48Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \*
> \*\*
> Or, more seriously, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” It’s a line from a song (no idea which one, I hate that song). \*\*
The song is “_Closing Time_” by **Semisonic**
[sub]please don’t hit me…[/sub]
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### Author:  [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2001, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/35 "2001-01-24T08:22:44Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by screech-owl \*
> **(BTW, DRY, if you’re using the _Hamlet_ quote, I wanna be buried next to you.)**
Why? Because I’d finally have shut up? 😕
Here’s a suggested epitath (sort of) to my good friend **screech-owl** :
“And, when [s]he shall die,
Take [her] and cut [her] out in little stars,
And [s]he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.”
–Romeo and Juliet, Act 3, Scene ii
---
### Author:  [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2001, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/36 "2001-01-24T08:27:27Z")
“he finally snapped and they had to put him down”
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### Author:  [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2001, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/37 "2001-01-24T11:21:40Z")
[screeching halt]
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by DRY \*
> **Why? Because I’d finally have shut up?..**
No, for the juxtaposition of quotes from _Hamlet_ and the anti-_Hamlet_, as it were.
[sub][Note: I am not saying that _R&G_ is THE anti-_Hamlet_; it was just much easier to type than “the play based on _Hamlet_ but from the point of view of two very minor stage-dressing yet somewhat necessary to the plot characters”.[/sub]
That’s what I’m saying.
[/screeching halt]
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread of morbid pithiness, already in progress.
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### Author:  [@pagan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pagan)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2001, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/38 "2001-01-24T14:59:55Z")
“Utterly useless. If you knew him, forget him. If a stranger, count your blessings.”
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### Author:  [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/39 "2001-01-24T15:22:06Z")
I’m going to be cremated. But if I _were_ to have a tombstone it would read:
**Please don’t shake me.
No, don’t wake me.
Leave me where I lay.
I’m only sleeping.**
---
### Author:  [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2001, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-epitath/51335/40 "2001-01-24T16:30:08Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by woodstockbirdybird \*
> \*\*I’m still deciding, but I’ve got it narrowed down to:
> “You’re stepping on my head!”, “Hey you kids, get off my lawn!” or “Don’t eat the clams.” \*\*
I’d go with the lawn one. I burst out laughing reading that one.
I don’t know what I’d want on mine…
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