# What is your favorite inspiring or funny quote? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 9, 2009, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204 "2009-06-09T13:45:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/41 "2009-06-10T14:32:51Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > exactly what is a lawyer meant to do about a skunk (at a lawyer’s hourly rate, no less)? If that’s a plausible British reaction, I have to admit to being baffled. > [@Renee](#): > > That was my thought, too. Who the hell calls either a lawyer or the fire department for a skunk? Loving this thread, though. Humor. It is a difficult concept. ---
**Author:** ![Rala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Rala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rala)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/42 "2009-06-10T15:07:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Who the hell calls either a lawyer or the fire department for a skunk? > [@](#): > > But more importantly, exactly what is a lawyer meant to do about a skunk (at a lawyer’s hourly rate, no less)? If that’s a plausible British reaction, I have to admit to being baffled. It’s not supposed to be a plausible reaction . . . I don’t think so, at least. (I’m not entirely sure what goes on in Britain or America.) I still found it kind of funny. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/43 "2009-06-10T15:11:05Z")
> [@Rala](#): > > It’s not supposed to be a plausible reaction . . . I don’t think so, at least. (I’m not entirely sure what goes on in Britain or America.) I still found it kind of funny. It is funny, IMO. Over-thinking sucks the funny out of most things, though. ---
**Author:** ![Hakuna\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hakuna\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hakuna_Matata)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/44 "2009-06-10T16:24:43Z")
One that just makes sense to me: If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished. - Unknown a favorite architectural one: Less is only more where more is no good. - Frank Lloyd Wright (1867-1959) one I try and live by: It is necessary for us to learn from others’ mistakes. You will not live long enough to make them all yourself. - Adm. Hyman G. Rickover another favorite: In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. - Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/45 "2009-06-10T17:25:23Z")
“I’m more man than you’ll ever be and more woman than you’ll ever get.” ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/46 "2009-06-10T17:31:29Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > To be thought half as good as a man a woman must work twice as hard. Fortuneately this is not difficult. > > or > > Of course I don’t look as busy as the men! I did it right the first time. > > or > > Science has discovered something that can do the work of one hundred men…fifty women! Awwww.. sexism is precious. ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/47 "2009-06-10T17:34:35Z")
“You can’t make a pig into a racehorse, but you can make a pretty fast pig.” - Chuck Jones (quoting his uncle) ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/48 "2009-06-10T17:36:52Z")
From time to time, as we all know, a sect appears in our midst announcing that the world will very soon come to an end. Generally, by some slight miscalculation, it is the sect that comes to an end." -G. K. Chesterton ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/49 "2009-06-10T17:59:27Z")
“When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/50 "2009-06-10T18:04:18Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” Shouldn’t that be: 'When you have eliminated all BUT the impossible…"? “You can run but you cannot hide. Except appearently on the Pakistani-Afghan border.” ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/51 "2009-06-10T18:31:58Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > A kick in the ass leads to a step in the right direction. As a parent, I’m really digging this one. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/52 "2009-06-10T18:44:19Z")
“The music of the spheres, when scientifically analyzed, has turned out to identical to the tinkling of ice at the bottom of a whiskey glass.” -R. A. Lafferty “I’ve looked in all the towns and cities and seen no statues of committees.” -G. K. Chesterton ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/53 "2009-06-10T18:46:52Z")
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping. You can’t choose who you fall in love with, but you can bloody well choose where to look for love. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/54 "2009-06-10T19:00:49Z")
“To form a society based on class distinctions, a minimum of two persons is necessary and sufficient.” -Baron Bodissey, as recorded by Jack Vance ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/55 "2009-06-10T19:17:10Z")
> [@Wargamer](#): > > Shouldn’t that be: 'When you have eliminated all BUT the impossible…"? Nope: > [@Sherlock Holmes](#): > > How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth? _The Sign of the Four_, A. Conan Doyle If you eliminate all _but_ the impossible, then the impossible is all you have left. It’s much harder to prosecute based on an impossible m.o. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/56 "2009-06-10T19:51:22Z")
“This belongs in IMHO.” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/57 "2009-06-10T20:00:20Z")
To be honest I’ve never read a full book by Robert Heinlein, but his Notebooks of Lazarus Long ([Part 1](http://www.angelfire.com/or/sociologyshop/lazlong.html#inter) and [Part 2](http://www.angelfire.com/or/sociologyshop/lazlong.html#inter2)) are almost Scripture to me. (I have any number of acquaintances who are Biblical literalists and have never read the Bible, so I suppose I know how they feel.) My favorites, all from the Notebooks of Lazarus Long: > [@](#): > > Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other sins are invented nonsense. > [@](#): > > Never appeal to a man’s “better nature.” He may not have one. Invoking his “self—interest” gives you more leverage. which is roughly the same as > [@](#): > > The greatest productive force is human selfishness. And longer, but I still like it: > [@](#): > > This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother’s side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds to happiness in a world in which happiness is always in short supply. ---
**Author:** ![Coup\_Fourre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@Coup\_Fourre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coup_Fourre)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/58 "2009-06-10T21:33:33Z")
“Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” - Dr. Seuss ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/59 "2009-06-10T22:15:35Z")
For funny, it’s hard to top [Tom Lehrer](http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Tom_Lehrer): “Life is like a sewer — what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” “It’s people like that who make you realize how little you’ve accomplished. It is a sobering thought, for example, that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.” “I always like to make explicit the fact that before I went off not too long ago to fight in the trenches, I was a mathematician by profession. I don’t like people to get the idea that I have to do this for a living. I mean, it isn’t as though I had to do this, you know, I could be making, oh, 3000 dollars a year just teaching.” “I feel that if a person can’t communicate, the very least he can do is to shut up.” and I’ll stop there. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/60 "2009-06-10T23:09:38Z")
For inspiration I like “_It never gets easier, you just go faster_.” - Greg Lemond But for an actual rule to live by, you can’t go wrong with “_It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever_.” - David St. Hubbins [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204.md?page=4)