# What is your favorite inspiring or funny quote? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 9, 2009, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204 "2009-06-09T13:45:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/121 "2009-06-15T20:36:59Z")
> [@Floppy\_Joe](#): > > “Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope” > _Freewheelin’ Franklin_ “Well, I’ll be dipped in shit!” - - Fat Freddy, just before Fat Freddy Scat’s third wish.\* ---
**Author:** ![slime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@slime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slime)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/122 "2009-06-15T21:31:35Z")
You will get further with a kind word and a big stick, then you will with just a kind word. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/123 "2009-06-15T21:39:53Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > :dubious: As an American, I’d call Animal Control. But more importantly, exactly what is a lawyer meant to do about a skunk (at a lawyer’s hourly rate, no less)? It’s not a problem. The skunk will leave. Why? Professional courtesy. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/124 "2009-06-15T22:26:49Z")
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/125 "2009-06-15T22:29:24Z")
I just came across this one: “Dude, if a park ranger warns you about the bears, it ain’t ‘cause he’s tryin’ to keep all the bear hugs for himself.” From [here](http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1426). ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/126 "2009-06-15T23:47:28Z")
> [@slime](#): > > You will get further with a kind word and a big stick, then you will with just a kind word. I prefer Al Capone’s version, “You can get more of what you want with a kind word and gun, than you can with just a kind word.” ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/127 "2009-06-16T01:44:59Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > I prefer Al Capone’s version, “You can get more of what you want with a kind word and gun, than you can with just a kind word.” I found this a couple years ago, unattributed: “Please, sir,” pleaded the stranger, “Would you be so kind as to help a poor unfortunate fellow who is hungry and can’t find work? All I have in the world is this gun.” ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/128 "2009-06-16T07:34:06Z")
“The more I practice, the luckier I get.” ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/129 "2009-06-16T19:01:20Z")
“Tag along with someone who’s been at this awhile, caution being advised in any hobby where you could wind up stoned, indicted, sick, or dead.” - Cecil Adams “Civilization will not attain perfection until the last stone from the last church falls on the last priest.” - Émile Zola “If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done.” - Peter Usinov ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/130 "2009-06-16T19:11:12Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > It’s not a problem. The skunk will leave. > > Why? > > Professional courtesy. _snerk_ well done sir. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/131 "2009-06-16T19:18:22Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > I prefer Al Capone’s version, “You can get more of what you want with a kind word and gun, than you can with just a kind word.” I’ve heard a better version: “You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a longer way with a smile and a gun.” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/132 "2009-06-17T21:04:07Z")
“One hopes for the best. One perseveres. One reevaluates constantly. One is an asshole if one doesn’t.” [E.B. Farnum](http://www.memphis.edu/magazine/v27i2/sanderson2.jpg)in _Deadwood_ ---
**Author:** ![PatriotGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9dc877/32.png) [@PatriotGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/133 "2009-06-17T22:16:27Z")
I’ve found the phrase “if ambition doesn’t hurt, you don’t have it” actually does make it hurt a tiny bit less. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/134 "2009-06-17T23:16:41Z")
“The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of the mountain or in the petals of a flower.” - Robert Pirsig “Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.” - Charlie Chaplain “I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” - Groucho Marx ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/135 "2009-06-18T00:06:15Z")
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” -Socrates “If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.” -Albert Einstein “Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.” -Dr. B. Franklin “He that lives upon hope will die fasting.” -Franklin “I think I can safely say that nobody understands quantum mechanics.” -Richard Feynman “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” -Douglas Adams, Long Dark Teatime of the Soul “In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.” -Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds of that I don’t know the answer.” -Mr. Zaphod Beeblebroz, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy “The meaning of life is that it ends.” -Franz Kafka “An expert is someone who knows some of the worst mistakes that can be made in his subject, and how to avoid them.” -Werner Heisenberg ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/136 "2009-06-18T01:22:51Z")
It never hurts to apologize, especially if you don’t mean it. ~ Jim Bouton in “Ball Four” ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2009, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/137 "2009-06-18T01:47:34Z")
Perspective is everything. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2009, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/138 "2009-06-18T11:54:58Z")
If a job’s worth doing - it’s worth doing badly. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2009, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/139 "2009-06-18T16:10:35Z")
“Precedent” is the assumption that someone else, in the past, with less information, nevertheless knows better than the man on the spot. “Tradition” means doing things in the same grand style as your predecessors; it does not mean doing the same things. You live and learn. Or you don’t live long. A zygote is a gamete’s way of making another gamete. This may be the purpose of the Universe. Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of. But do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. All from Robert Heinlein. ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2009, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204/140 "2009-06-18T16:46:07Z")
_The Ox may carry the cart up the hill, but it’s the Bird who builds his nest in the trees._ —Some dead Zen philosopher who wasn’t especially good _On your feet, or on your knees!_ —originally by some quasi-famous dead general; more recently by the mighty Blue Oyster Cult [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-favorite-inspiring-or-funny-quote/499204.md?page=8)