# What is your major malfunction? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 22, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069 "2006-01-22T04:54:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/21 "2006-01-22T15:28:45Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > I now have to ask my standard question; when were you in, which Air Craft Carriers were you on? > I was Sep85 to Jan89 on USS Ranger, CV61. > > Jim Alas, I predated women on ships. I was in VS-41 at NAS North Island from '74-'76. Then I went over to the dark side and at OCS, I requested orders to a ship, since they were starting to offer that option to women. They sent me to the Pentagon. I never got my water wings… ---
**Author:** ![zelie\_zelerton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/59ef9b/32.png) [@zelie\_zelerton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zelie_zelerton)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/22 "2006-01-22T17:51:51Z")
Sounds like me. In fact the vast majority of people i like are my internet friends. My real life friends are nice enough but i just don’t have many of them. What’s really freakish and bizarre is that my internet friends often suggest meeting up (and seem willing to travel to my area to do so) but i back out. I still am not sure why. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/23 "2006-01-22T18:02:19Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Alas, I predated women on ships. I was in VS-41 at NAS North Island from '74-'76. Then I went over to the dark side and at OCS, I requested orders to a ship, since they were starting to offer that option to women. They sent me to the Pentagon. I never got my water wings… That was my home port. Naval Airbase Coronado/NAS North Island. The day I reported to the Ranger, the Big ‘E’ {Enterprise}, The Danger “Ranger” and the Shitty Kitty (Kitty Hawk) were lined up end to end. Over 3000’ feet of Carrier Deck. It was an Amazing sight. Jim ---
**Author:** ![zelie\_zelerton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/59ef9b/32.png) [@zelie\_zelerton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zelie_zelerton)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/24 "2006-01-22T18:11:58Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > -I have avoidence issues. If I take a test and think I did badly on it, chances are I’ll wait a week before looking at the grade. That’s the tip of the iceberg. > > -I have a very small social circle because I’m practically incapable of starting conversations with total strangers unless it’s business, and I’m told I get very tense when around people I don’t know(on the other hand, I’ll talk about terrorism on airplanes when talking to someone I do know well).Everyone who has become my friend has started talking to me first. Since very few people do that, I have very few friends. er…i meant this. i have little in common with air craft carriers ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/25 "2006-01-23T02:23:06Z")
Ya know, I was over at that Charlie Daniel’s message board tonight and saw my greatest fear in a (not incidentally) place of ignorance and fear. I was going to register and post but the last time I made a public statement against mainstream belief my email was mysteriously released to a local and fervently posessed Christian. He sent me vaguely threantening apologist propaganda and wanted to introduce me to his “6’6”, Marine, Pastor". The thing is, I got nothing against religion. But, he would deprive me of my belief through veiled violence… It makes me want to rebel. It makes me want to overthrow the system, This Country will be a flashpoint for many years to come, thanks to the environment of hatred and invective that has flourished under George W. Bush. The teens of the teens will overthrow the sixties of the sixties. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/26 "2006-01-23T02:25:21Z")
My major malfunction? I procrastinate. I keep wanting to fix that, but… yeah. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/27 "2006-01-23T03:43:20Z")
funny responses all and truthful. I really am laughing. I made my first milestone. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/28 "2006-01-23T03:48:39Z")
> [@gravitycrash](#): > > funny responses all and truthful. I really am laughing. I made my first milestone. As one shy person to another, I do hope you’ll stick around and participate in more threads. 🙂 I got comfortable here, and look what happened! _points to post count_ Yeah… it doesn’t win you cookies or prizes or anything. I just can’t shut up. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/29 "2006-01-23T03:57:12Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > As one shy person to another, I do hope you’ll stick around and participate in more threads. 🙂 > I got comfortable here, and look what happened! _points to post count_ Yeah… it doesn’t win you cookies or prizes or anything. I just can’t shut up. :smack: thank you anastaseon. I’m a long time lurker, infrequent poster… boring I know. The praise made me smile. That is enough. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/30 "2006-01-23T04:01:57Z")
My major malfunction is cooking dinner. It’s not that I can’t cook, it’s that dinner comes at such a lousy time of day for that kind of activity. But it must be more than that, because I can’t even manage to cook dinner during the day and save it for later. Perhaps it’s that dinner is supposed to be different every day. Breakfast and lunch I pretty much make exactly the same every day. Also I hate meal planning, grocery shopping and cleaning up the kitchen. All of which is pretty lame if your job is “homemaker” I do have a phobia too, never suspected until I slid into a MRI about a year ago—horrible flaming irrational claustrophobia, but only in spaces as small as an MRI, so not too big a deal in daily life. But, honestly I can’t even think about it without getting upset. ---
**Author:** ![pendgwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@pendgwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pendgwen)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/31 "2006-01-23T04:03:31Z")
Procrastination. You might consider that a minor malfunctions but with the lengths I take it to, it becomes a major one. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/32 "2006-01-23T04:22:17Z")
I pay my bills late. It’s not like I don’t have the money to pay them, it just stresses me out to actually write the checks. So I put off doing it. Then they’re overdue, which makes it MORE stressful … . Shampoo, rinse, repeat. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/33 "2006-01-23T04:28:43Z")
My major malfunction is “I am an island” syndrome. No, I don’t want your help. I’m offended that you asked. How dare you think for a moment that I don’t have it all under control?!?! Add that to the procrastination, and I’m occasionally unpleasant to be around. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/34 "2006-01-23T04:41:22Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > My major malfunction? > > I procrastinate. I keep wanting to fix that, but… yeah. I seem to only procrastinate with doing the dishes. They pile up in the sink for a week and the specks of gunk on them run off and congregate with the other specks of gunk to make a big gunk patty in the bottom of the sink. Do you _know_ what happens when you leave a half-inch of pancake batter sitting in a bowl for a week? _DO_ you?? It’s horrible, that’s all I’ll say. ---
**Author:** ![Spidey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Spidey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spidey)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/35 "2006-01-23T04:47:58Z")
Procrastination, shyness, I’ve got them both for sure but with a twist: Whenever I’m given a job to do or dragged out to a social event I do fine, tackle that workload or mingle with those damn guests. But left to my own, nothing gets done, be it work or mingling. I’ve actually never noticed how those two things sort of run together for me as a complex. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/36 "2006-01-23T13:37:01Z")
I eat too many sweets and excercise too little. But I am working on both of these things. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/37 "2006-01-23T13:50:13Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > My major malfunction is “I am an island” syndrome. No, I don’t want your help. I’m offended that you asked. How dare you think for a moment that I don’t have it all under control?!?! > > Add that to the procrastination, and I’m occasionally unpleasant to be around. Can we help you with that problem? 😉 Sorry, I had to, Jim ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/38 "2006-01-23T14:38:17Z")
**Procrastination-** No matter how important it is or how much of an incentive there is to do it, I put things off until the last minute (e.g. doing my taxes one week before 4/15 when I expect to get a refund). **Shyness-** I’m nearly 36 years old and still single, and this is one reason why. **Disorganization-** My house is a mess and I just don’t have the time or patience to keep things orderly. [bTemper-\*\* It doesn’t take much to piss me off. Perhaps this is another reason I’m still single at my age. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069/39 "2006-01-23T15:13:32Z")
Yet another procrastinator checking in. I’m starting to think it is the one true universal in my life. Not Jesus or God, not change, not the inevitable yet subjective flow of time… but procrastination. It pervades my every moment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-major-malfunction/341069.md?page=1)