# What is your most outrageous piece of sex paraphernalia?? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 30, 2000, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886 "2000-10-30T03:54:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/1 "2000-10-30T03:54:16Z")
I have this swing that bolts into the ceiling. My husband bought it for my birthday one year. It used to be in our basement, but now it’s in a box. It’s made of black seatbelt material and you sit in it (kind of reclined) and there are straps that you slide your feet into that function sort of like stirrups. The idea is that the man stands in front and just swings you back and forth. So Dopers, how about you? C’mon, _SHARE_! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/2 "2000-10-30T03:56:11Z")
I’ve been rather tame. Just leopard print furry handcuffs. Unfortunately, still in the original packaging. ---
**Author:** ![Baskety](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecae2f/32.png) [@Baskety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baskety)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/3 "2000-10-30T04:01:40Z")
In my case it’s a ribbed condom. I laugh every time I see it in the drawer, it seems so stupid, but can’t bear to toss it away. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/4 "2000-10-30T04:02:29Z")
I have a pair of edible underwear that was given to me as a present. They are still in the package because I have not found anyone willing to wear them. They will probably be chunked in my next heavy duty cleaning session. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/5 "2000-10-30T04:08:26Z")
My tongue. :p:p:p Sue, that swing sounds like a lot of fun! Makes me wonder if anyone’s ever had a good time with gravity boots. ---
**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/6 "2000-10-30T04:08:39Z")
I have to admit the glow in the dark condom that I got in the vending machine at the club one night amuses me. I also have some lotion called " Hap-penis" It is supposed to deminish the bitter taste of cum. It does not. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/7 "2000-10-30T04:09:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sue Duhnym \* > **I have this swing that bolts into the ceiling…** So didja use it? For the record, we have a swing thing that has a bungee strap, so not only do you swing, but you bounce, too… ---
**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/8 "2000-10-30T04:10:43Z")
Dire Wolf, I like the way you think!! ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/9 "2000-10-30T04:23:01Z")
I used to be the proud owner of a Scotch-whisky-flavored contraceptive called a McCondom (which sounds like something that would come in a Happy Meal). I gave it to my roommate the Scotch drinker, but I’m pretty sure it’s still around the apartment somewhere, so I guess it counts. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/10 "2000-10-30T04:30:46Z")
**TheNerd** and **Baskety** , you all need to get out more! 😉 **xizor** I don’t think I’d wear them either, unless you have a tongue like **dire wolf**! Bwahahaha **Angkins**! Have you ever seen that movie with John Ritter where he and another guy (an advisary) are running around in the dark only wearing glow in the dark condoms? Stupid movie, but that part made me LMAO! ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/11 "2000-10-30T04:33:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ricepad \* > So didja use it? Of course! I found it a bit…um…intense. In a good way. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bluemonchichi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@Bluemonchichi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluemonchichi)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/12 "2000-10-30T04:34:23Z")
I have a rack. It is taken apart and sitting in the closet right now. How fun it is to tie someone up or be tied up yourself! The swing sounds great! If I thought I could explain the holes in the ceiling to my apartment mgr I would get one. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/13 "2000-10-30T04:34:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fretful Porpentine \* > I used to be the proud owner of a Scotch-whisky-flavored contraceptive called a McCondom One word comes (pun not intended) to mind: **WHY?** ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/14 "2000-10-30T04:58:09Z")
one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute up my pussy. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/15 "2000-10-30T05:00:29Z")
Yeah, but could you _play_ anything??? **Bluemonchichi** , you have a _rack_? :: devilish smile :: 🙂 Can I come over and play “Who Wants To Be Accused Of Witchcraft In 16th Century England”? Maybe we can invite **Angkins** , too? ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/16 "2000-10-30T05:06:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bluemonchichi \* > If I thought I could explain the holes in the ceiling to my apartment mgr I would get one. 😃 Hanging plants! Lots of hanging plants! Actually, the reason it’s in a box now is because we don’t have a basement. We had it screwed (no pun intended, again) into the studs (ditto) in the basement. That rack sounds interesting, and scary. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/17 "2000-10-30T05:35:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bluemonchichi \* > \*\*The swing sounds great! If I thought I could explain the holes in the ceiling to my apartment mgr I would get one. 😃 \*\* Hanging a 1-lb plant from an industrial-grade screw eye seems a bit overkill-ish, but I ran a short, relatively lightweight chain from the eye to the ceiling fan, and explain it as a safety feature. You know…“We sure would hate to have the fan come crashing down on the bed…” The ‘safety chain’ doesn’t interfer with the proper operation of the bungee swing, either. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/18 "2000-10-30T06:04:50Z")
> [@](#): > > Can I come over and play “Who Wants To Be Accused Of Witchcraft In 16th Century England”? ROTFLMAO!!! Good one, Dire Wolf. Hehehe. I own this thing called the Silver Bullets…two little egg-sized silver balls that vibrate (and boy, can they vibrate!). You can use them alone or with someone else…I have bought them for all my friends on their birthdays since I tried them. They come highly recommended, let me tell you! 🙂 A _rack_?? I can’t even imagine. But I’m still happy with plain old bread and butter sex…nothing to kinky for me. All my older friends tell me you get much more creative with age, so we’ll see. ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/19 "2000-10-30T06:14:20Z")
I think my most outrageous items are a pair of leather wrist cuffs (far better than your usual handcuffs because they’re more comfortable, and the chain detaches at the cuffs to make it easier to attach someone to a tree, pole, or bedpost) and a cat o’nine made from velvet threads. These items have made interesting evenings at many a Renaissance Faire. ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886/20 "2000-10-30T06:20:30Z")
Last year during a long period of abstinence an ex-girlfriend (I’m very good friends with most of my exes) sent me an artificial vibrating vagina as a joke (I think). This surprisingly large object is made of some compound that I don’t think I can describe but feels very much like cold skin to touch. It’s quite strange to look, is a natural blonde and has three different speeds. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-most-outrageous-piece-of-sex-paraphernalia/38886.md?page=2)