# What is your true personal ethos right now? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 10, 2014, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341 "2014-03-10T09:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/1 "2014-03-10T09:16:26Z")
First, some definitions: > [@](#): > > Ethos > From Wikipedia > Ethos (/ˈiːθɒs/ or /ˈiːθoʊs/) is a Greek word meaning “character” that is used to describe \*\*\*the guiding beliefs \*\*\*or ideals that characterize a community, nation, or ideology. > > Ethos (ἦθος, ἔθος, plurals: ethe (ἤθη), ethea (ἤθεα)) is a Greek word originally meaning “accustomed place” (as in ἤθεα ἵππων “the habitat of horses”, Iliad 6.511), _ **"custom, habit** _", equivalent to Latin mores. > > Current usage > > Ethos can simply mean the disposition, character, or fundamental values particular to a specific person, people, corporation, culture, or movement. Ethos refers to the spirit \*\* which motivates\*\* the ideas and customs. > [@](#): > > ethos noun \ˈē-ˌthäs > :\*\*\* the guiding beliefs\*\*\* of a person, group, or organization > : the distinguishing character, sentiment, moral nature, or _ **guiding beliefs of a person** _, group, or institution; > [@](#): > > e·thos [ee-thos, ee-thohs, eth-os, -ohs] > 1. > Sociology . the fundamental character or spirit of a culture; _ **the underlying sentiment that informs the beliefs, customs, or practices of a group or society** _; \*\*\*dominant assumptions \*\*\*of a people or period: In the Greek ethos the individual was highly valued. > 2.the character or disposition of a community, group, person, etc. > 3. the moral element in dramatic literature \*\*\*that determines a character’s action \*\*\*rather than his or her thought or emotion. So, what is your\*\*\* true\*\*\* personal ethos at this point in your life? In other words, what is the genuine feeling or belief which underlies what you _ **actually** _ do, not what you want to do, try to do, mean to do, hope to do, plan to do, or wish you did - just what you actually did/do. The ethos of The Straight Dope is claimed to be fighting ignorance. The actions support that claim, however imperfectly. Many people, if asked this question, would claim that their ethos is love, primarily of family. And they may wish it to be, but I’m sure we all know immediately what action supports that claim and what belies it. And I’m not saying people are assholes if they fail to live up to the ethos they wish they had, I think most of us spend a good portion of our lives striving to align our actions with our highest ideals. But until the actions and the ideals actually do align, there is another ethos driving the actions that supplant the actions that would reflect a genuine committed ethos of loving one’s family, and often we don’t stop to consider what it is. I believe that doing so can only help one achieve ideal/action alignment. So. Right now, at this point in your life, what is the true ethos that informs most of your action? If you’d like to share…if not, then I hope you do consider the question personally… ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/2 "2014-03-10T09:34:44Z")
If it’s stupid and it works, it ain’t stupid. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/3 "2014-03-10T12:14:14Z")
I have never heard “ethos” used in this way. As your last definition says, it does not really mean a belief or set of beliefs, but something vaguer, a “sentiment”, and as all your definitions strongly imply, its usual and primary application is not to individuals but to a community, organization, or other organic grouping of people. To suggest that it means a person’s most fundamental beliefs is to misrepresent its meaning by cherry-picking secondary aspects of from three slightly clumsy attempts to define this rather difficult and nebulous term. Someone who said that their ethos was love of family (or, come to that, love of money, or whatever) would be misusing the word, in my opinion. What they should say, to express the underlying idea, is something like that what they most value is love of family (or money, or whatever). ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/4 "2014-03-10T12:30:54Z")
my credo, if you have to have a credo, is, y’know, “go for it” ---
**Author:** ![thenonepercent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@thenonepercent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thenonepercent)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/5 "2014-03-10T13:37:29Z")
Don’t fake the funk on the nasty dunk. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/6 "2014-03-10T13:47:10Z")
Pretty simple: treat people how you want to be treated. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/7 "2014-03-10T13:53:12Z")
What is hateful to you, do not do to others. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/8 "2014-03-10T14:08:13Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > I have never heard “ethos” used in this way. To suggest that it means a person’s most fundamental beliefs is to misrepresent its meaning by cherry-picking secondary aspects of from three slightly clumsy attempts to define this rather difficult and nebulous term. It may be unfamiliar to you, but it is entirely correct. I did not suggest that it means a person’s fundamental beliefs, I stated and I mean that one’s personal ethos refers to the beliefs/attitudes/feelings that drive one’s behavior. As this blogger puts it: > [@](#): > > **A Personal Ethos?** > What is a personal ethos? It’s not a term or expression most of us are familiar with. What is it and should it play any role in our lives? Do we need a personal ethos? > > Good question. > > All of us **actually do have a** personal ethos – we just may not be able to clearly articulate it. But we do have a pattern of values, motivations, and aspirations that can be distilled from decisions, both large and small, that we have made in our lives. **We are what we decide, how we behave, and what we do – much more so than what we say, what we intend, or what we think we want. This pattern makes up the ‘personal ethos’ by which we live, consciously or unconsciously.** > > It can be empowering to know, accept, and understand the values and aspirations that **are behind our decisions and actions** , and even more empowering to choose and embrace them, **rather than be pushed around by them** ….A personal ethos that we create and try to live by, can give us a sense of direction and even purpose for our lives – especially if it is crafted to fit our particular needs, personality, and circumstances. Asking someone what their values are will frequently lead to answers that do not clearly relate very much to a person’s behavior, and that is really the distinction here, and precisely the reason I chose the word. Example: a person might say that they value cleanliness and order. They might believe it, want to, etc. But that same person creates filth and chaos everywhere because they spend every single spare moment they can squeeze out of their lives on playing basketball, and being clean and neat takes more time than being a slob. In that case, their ethos is their feelings about their time and their desire to play basketball, because it drives what they actually do, overriding their still-genuine desire to have a clean and ordered environment. It’s about integrity, which at its most basic simply means living an “integrated” life: your actions and your conscious, chosen values mirror each other. But we all have perfect integrity when examined from the perspective of our personal ethos, because we all have feelings and beliefs that motivate us to choose Action B over Action E, even though we wish we would choose action C - our actions are perfectly integrated with the beliefs, desires, emotions that make up our personal ethos, or we wouldn’t have taken them. So if we find that we are often frustrated with ourselves because we wish we had done something different than what we actually did, then it’s time to dig down and figure out what is driving us to do things which do not match the values we think we have. When we figure it out, we will know what our personal ethos is. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/9 "2014-03-10T15:05:10Z")
KneadToKnow’s Law of Escape: Never run up in a building, never run down in a boat. ---
**Author:** ![thenonepercent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@thenonepercent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thenonepercent)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/10 "2014-03-10T15:05:49Z")
It may be _correct_, but is it _right_? _ponders_ Really makes you think. ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/11 "2014-03-10T15:25:52Z")
I’m not sure I understand this, but the thought that is with me constantly and has shaped most of my decision of late is suicide. I want to end my life. I have given away belongings and ended friendships to minimize the impact of my decision. I have a plan and I know when & where. The only thing keeping me here is not wanting to hurt my mother. ---
**Author:** ![thenonepercent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@thenonepercent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thenonepercent)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/12 "2014-03-10T15:31:02Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > The only thing keeping me here is not wanting to hurt my mother. Do you care enough about your mother to get professional help? Getting help is less of an inconvenience to others than killing yourself. So I’d try the professional help thing first, because with that option you can always change your mind afterwards, and you’re less likely to screw up and end up a drooling vegetable and burden on your poor mother. ---
**Author:** ![HipGnosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/76d3ee/32.png) [@HipGnosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HipGnosis)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/13 "2014-03-10T15:34:39Z")
It’s hip to know, ya gknow. ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/14 "2014-03-10T15:35:00Z")
The Big Lebowski supports this usage of “ethos” so I will allow it ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/15 "2014-03-10T15:43:28Z")
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/16 "2014-03-10T15:59:55Z")
Even if it’s not “correct” or accurate in specific fields of study, I think it’s intended to be a more colloquial phrase for the average person to use. I dug **Stoid** ’s rap and I’m giving it a ponder. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/17 "2014-03-10T16:04:04Z")
Also, this: > [@thenonepercent](#): > > It may be _correct_, but is it _right_? > > _ponders_ > > Really makes you think. Immediately brought to mind: > [@](#): > > Phil : No, don’t go! I’m doing this for you! > > Luke : Are you, dad? Are you? > > {cut to ‘confessional’ scene with Phil alone on the couch} > > Phil : The kid made me think with that one. Who was I really doing this for? > > {cut to ‘confessional’ scene with Luke alone on the couch} > > Luke : Sometimes I just say, “are you, dad? Are you?” Because he gets real quiet and doesn’t notice when I walk away. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/18 "2014-03-10T16:27:12Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > I’m not sure I understand this, but the thought that is with me constantly and has shaped most of my decision of late is suicide. I want to end my life. I have given away belongings and ended friendships to minimize the impact of my decision. I have a plan and I know when & where. The only thing keeping me here is not wanting to hurt my mother. Foggy my dear, you’ve been a member of the community for a long time and we’ve weathered a lot together, all of us, including you. There have been times we have had to put you on sabbatical because while we care about what happens to you – because we do care about what happens to you – letting this go unaddressed is not useful to you or your friends here or the community at large. We’ll put you on sabbatical again if that’s necessary but before we go there I want you to consider getting some help and being seen in a medical setting, maybe even on an emergency basis – some intervention is in order. It’s not just your mother – there are people who hope for your betterment here. Work with us. Pick up the phone and make an appointment, go the ER, go be seen. Today. Please. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/19 "2014-03-10T16:39:09Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > So, what is your\*\*\* true\*\*\* personal ethos at this point in your life? In other words, what is the genuine feeling or belief which underlies what you _ **actually** _ do, not what you want to do, try to do, mean to do, hope to do, plan to do, or wish you did - just what you actually did/do. I was going to be glib and respond with something (hopefully) funny. But goddammit, I gave the OP serious thought and I can honestly say - I have not the slightest fucking idea. Is that bad? ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341/20 "2014-03-10T16:50:44Z")
Everything I do is because I want to feel good. Sometimes you have to rationalize it a bit: “if you clean up the house you will feel better at the end than you would if you spent the time slacking off” sort of stuff, but in the end I’m all about the hedonism. The thing is, pleasure comes in all sorts of forms - even martyrdom can be a pleasure to the right personality. So it’s a thing I think drives a lot more people than they realize or care to admit. I find a lot of people mismatch what they say and do - they really have no idea what’s actually driving them. Sometimes when they do figure it out they forget to stop and think about it every 2 years or so and see if they’re actually still doing what they say they want to do. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-your-true-personal-ethos-right-now/683341.md?page=2)