# What I've learned about American every day life from tv and movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 12, 2012, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532 "2012-09-12T19:10:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/141 "2012-09-17T01:42:32Z")
Solving murders is a popular hobby for American senior citizens who would in less enlightened cultures be considered much too old and untrained to deal with violent criminals. It is a common rite of passage for white suburban teenage ladies to participate in potentially dangerous activities like drug abuse, touring with a rock band, or joining a roller derby team. The young woman will emerge from the experience no worse for wear, but wiser for the experience, and will digest the events by gazing off into the distance in a secluded location such as the roof of a shop or a strangely deserted public park. It is an equally common rite of passage for pre-pubescent Americans to join a rag-tag multicultural sports team, suffer a string of humiliating losses, but ultimately win against all odds in a dramatic confrontation with a team of evil children. You can tell they are evil because they don’t suck and appear to have practised and have natural talent. Blow-dried hair and other signs of attention to personal grooming is another give away. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2012, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/142 "2012-09-17T02:16:28Z")
I’ve learned from American commercials that all American males have facial hair that is more than stubble, but not quite a full beard. ---
**Author:** ![tomcar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tomcar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomcar)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2012, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/143 "2012-09-17T02:27:34Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > I’ve learned from American commercials that all American males have facial hair that is more than stubble, but not quite a full beard. I am perpetually in this state. ---
**Author:** ![DZedNConfused](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dzednconfused/32/15991_2.png) [@DZedNConfused](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DZedNConfused)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2012, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/144 "2012-09-17T02:39:33Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > I’ve learned from American commercials that all American males have facial hair that is more than stubble, but not quite a full beard. My husband:D ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2012, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/145 "2012-09-17T18:59:19Z")
Everybody is quick witted and able to come up with great zingers. However, nobody laughs at these lines. Nobody but nobody has two friends with the same first name. It’s no problem getting the same table in a New York restaurant every night, and the same for that comfy sofa in the middle of a coffee shop. Every person in a high school is secretly in their twenties. High school gymnasiums will never have more than four rows of bleachers. Nobody pours booze out of a bottle, it’s always poured from glass decanters with glass stoppers. Ditto for milk in plastic jugs, it’s always poured from a pitcher. Nobody places their couch against a wall. American teens never get acne. Americans always fly on planes with about six feet of headroom and aisles five feet across. Americans all know how to fly helicopters and how to hotwire cars. Everybody can wrap gifts like Martha Stewart. ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/146 "2012-09-17T20:12:24Z")
If a child runs away, causes some vandalism, or steals from a store the nice police officer(s) will give them a stern talking-to and take them home where the parents will give them a “what have you learned” talk (also known as a “youseetimmy”) before hugging them. If there is a punishment it will be in the realm of extra chores. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2012, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/147 "2012-09-18T00:29:15Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > Everybody can wrap gifts like Martha Stewart. And… we wrap the lids separately so you can just take off the lid to open your present. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2012, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/148 "2012-09-18T00:35:48Z")
There are a lot of people who have a telephone exchange beginning with “555.” ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2012, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/149 "2012-09-18T01:27:12Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > . > > No American has more than one friend of a different race or ethnicity (Truth in Television, that one.) > > . :dubious: Speak for yourself my friend. On topic: All children in America are either genius level smart and perfect angels, or complete morons and the devil’s spawn. There is no in-between. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2012, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/150 "2012-09-18T01:55:44Z")
Small costal towns in Maine have disturbingly high murder rates and/or occurences of supernatural activity. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2012, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/151 "2012-09-18T02:04:54Z")
> [@Dave\_Hartwick](#): > > Solving murders is a popular hobby for American senior citizens who would in less enlightened cultures be considered much too old and untrained to deal with violent criminals… It’s an even more popular hobby for elderly British women. > [@DZedNConfused](#): > > Oh and it’s corollary: > > Sexual reassignment surgery will turn a big hulking bruiser into a small curvaceous extremely feminine woman Often said surgery will include a fully functioning reproductive system and the ability to get pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2012, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/152 "2012-09-18T02:11:24Z")
All American teenagers lack parental supervision They all try drugs, alcohol, and sex All American teenagers place great importance on prom and football. Life as they know it would end if they do not make it to prom. And apparently prom dresses have all shrunk by a foot or more, and you will no longer find a full length ball gown in any formal store or boutique so everyone wears mini cocktail dresses to school dances. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2012, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/153 "2012-09-18T20:24:00Z")
All American couples own our unique L-shaped sheets, and they always use them to cover the male to his waist and the woman to just over her boobs. Even when nobody else is in the bedroom. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2012, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/154 "2012-09-19T11:37:00Z")
American home have TV sets in every room-they are on constantly, even when nobody is watching. American Dads never sit down and read newspapers. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2012, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/155 "2012-09-19T14:01:48Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > American home have TV sets in every room-they are on constantly, even when nobody is watching. American Dads never sit down and read newspapers. That one is kinda true. ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/156 "2012-09-19T14:38:53Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > All American couples own our unique L-shaped sheets, and they always use them to cover the male to his waist and the woman to just over her boobs. Even when nobody else is in the bedroom. Ahh, the L-shaped sheets. If they don’t have them (they may be in the wash) women have sex with their bra on. Which (IMHO) is a crime against humanity. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2012, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/157 "2012-09-19T14:40:43Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Dark skinned black women spend their time yelling at black men. Well, most of them are municipal court judges. ---
**Author:** ![Rubixcube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Rubixcube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubixcube)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2012, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/158 "2012-09-19T14:51:18Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > American home have TV sets in every room-they are on constantly, even when nobody is watching. American Dads never sit down and read newspapers. Similarly the very first thing people do when they get out of the shower is wrap themselves very securely with a towel. Also people rarely go nude in their own homes, and when they do there are items set up to perfectly cover all the naughty bits from nearly every angle. ---
**Author:** ![DZedNConfused](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dzednconfused/32/15991_2.png) [@DZedNConfused](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DZedNConfused)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/159 "2012-09-19T15:17:53Z")
> [@Rubixcube](#): > > Similarly the very first thing people do when they get out of the shower is wrap themselves very securely with a towel. Also people rarely go nude in their own homes, and when they do there are items set up to perfectly cover all the naughty bits from nearly every angle. And NEVER have naked teenage sons dripping on their carpet, who want to discuss Nietzche straight out of the shower _headdesk_ ---
**Author:** ![Toxgoddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532/160 "2012-09-19T17:38:55Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > And apparently prom dresses have all shrunk by a foot or more, and you will no longer find a full length ball gown in any formal store or boutique so everyone wears mini cocktail dresses to school dances. Actually, this one is truer than you’d think. Pretty much all teenage and pre-teen girl clothes in stores these days are super-short and super-tight. It’s infuriating if you don’t want your daughter to look like a whore and she doesn’t want to wear anything her friends aren’t wearing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-ive-learned-about-american-every-day-life-from-tv-and-movies/634532.md?page=9)