# What jobs could you train a monkey to do, yet get the highest levels of pay? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 27, 2004, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jobs-could-you-train-a-monkey-to-do-yet-get-the-highest-levels-of-pay/276852 "2004-11-27T08:51:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jobs-could-you-train-a-monkey-to-do-yet-get-the-highest-levels-of-pay/276852/41 "2004-11-30T14:56:14Z")
guys, guys, you’re letting me down here. i can’t BELIEVE i’m the first one to post this: FOX network programming executive. **RIP** : _SPACE: Above And Beyond, Millenium, Strange Luck,_ and a host of other promising shows that got shafted by the shirts before they ever really had a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jobs-could-you-train-a-monkey-to-do-yet-get-the-highest-levels-of-pay/276852/42 "2004-11-30T15:22:44Z")
> [@KRC](#): > > Now wait a minute, Wolf Meister, do you really think it would help our world image if we had a president who flung his poo at people? Well, we’ve already had one who vomits on people… ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jobs-could-you-train-a-monkey-to-do-yet-get-the-highest-levels-of-pay/276852/43 "2004-12-01T00:34:51Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Well, we’ve already had one who vomits on people… Had? ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jobs-could-you-train-a-monkey-to-do-yet-get-the-highest-levels-of-pay/276852/44 "2004-12-01T00:48:01Z")
> [@ccwaterback](#): > > COBOL Programmer > > Night watchman > > Toll collector > > Post to the SDMB … yiiipe yiiipe yiiipe!!! hoohoohoo hoohoo 😃 I was thinking programmer. I knew a guy who wrote code, but I have no idea what language. What a sicko! I swear to god, he’d eat his buggers so he wouldn’t have to look away to grab a kleenex. His name was (is) Scott. You get three guess’ what we called him. He made quite a lot of money. But really, I don’t know how those guys do it. I guess the total absence of a frontal lobe helps. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jobs-could-you-train-a-monkey-to-do-yet-get-the-highest-levels-of-pay/276852/45 "2004-12-01T10:20:38Z")
Well, there’s the old story of [Jack the Baboon, who worked as a signalman’s “assistant.”](http://www.earthfoot.org/lit_zone/signalmn.htm) (Assuming the story’s legit, of course.) Again, assuming the story’s true, I don’t know how much such a job would have paid. (Aside from a shot of booze every night.) That site also mentions Jack being used by his previous owner to lead Oxen, which seems beleivable enough. If it wouldn’t upset the animals, maybe you could train an ape to act as a dog-walker. You could probably train an ape to act as a suicide bomber, but that doesn’t really pay very well. And…at least one researcher was apparently able to train an Orangutan to knap crude flint knives (See [this page](http://www.animal-rights-library.com/texts-m/whitemiles01.htm#_ftn20)), and that’s kind of a job skill. Not much demand for it in todays economy, but maybe in the right time and place…but I’ll leave that to your imagination. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jobs-could-you-train-a-monkey-to-do-yet-get-the-highest-levels-of-pay/276852/46 "2004-12-01T10:25:25Z")
Astronaut. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jobs-could-you-train-a-monkey-to-do-yet-get-the-highest-levels-of-pay/276852/47 "2004-12-02T00:28:17Z")
(Organ Grinder) > [@The King of Soup](#): > > Astronaut. Chimp. I can’t remember his (her?) name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jobs-could-you-train-a-monkey-to-do-yet-get-the-highest-levels-of-pay/276852.md?page=2)