# What jolly Xmas character would you like to see in Hell? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 18, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465 "2007-12-18T16:57:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/41 "2007-12-19T22:00:07Z")
I can only pray Hell is big enough. Everyone who has ever recorded and distributed a christmas carol. Everyone who ever sings a christmas carol again. Every DJ or Muzak programmer who has ever played a christmas carol. Everyone who suggests singing chrismas carols Everyone who suggests listening to chrismas carols. I think that covers it but I’m open to more inclusive lists. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/42 "2007-12-19T22:01:16Z")
Damn, I just realized… If there is a hell, I’m probably going there. And it’s going to be a lot more hellish if my list gets used. ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Pumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@Ms.Pumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Pumpkin)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/43 "2007-12-19T23:15:54Z")
While not exactly “jolly”, I nominate Ralphie and his entire family. Too bad he didn’t actually shoot his friggin eye out. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/44 "2007-12-20T00:36:58Z")
[QUOTE=stretch] Imagine a girl is born in August 1966. Her parents have already decided to name her after the mother’s childhood friend. They think to themselves “We’ll give our daughter this name; it is an unusual name, but how bad can it be?” And then in the winter of 1966, a new holiday special is released on TV with a catchy song. Every Christmas for the rest of her life, the girl will hear this song. And people will think they are clever when they sing it around her. [/QUOTE] The original _Frosty the Snowman_ song was recorded in [1950](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frosty_the_Snowman), so these hypothetical parents should have had enough advance warning. ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/45 "2007-12-20T04:13:39Z")
[QUOTE=Indyellen] **Rhubarb** , that’s beautiful. Unfortunately, Bob Rivers beat you to it: [Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i76b5y2NIAA) [/QUOTE] Thanks for that. A Bob Rivers ditty I hadn’t heard before. I’m pretty sure he’s the conductor of this hell-bound train. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/46 "2007-12-20T05:48:17Z")
Anyone who gripes to me that some entity is “…taking the _Christ_ out of Christmas”! \ ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/47 "2007-12-20T14:23:31Z")
[QUOTE=Elza B] And the version from 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. He gets a letter from the ‘whole town’ saying they don’t believe in Santa, and he can’t even send a damn elf to investigate? [/QUOTE] Actually, the letter was signed “all of us”…and was a postage-stamp sized letter sent via the _mouse postal system._ Apparently, Santa wasn’t aware that there often isn’t a large cultural overlap between human and rodent communities, even in a small town (even one where human-mouse work teams apparently aren’t abnormal: careful analysis of the dialogue reveals that, although father mouse helps construct clocks for a living, he couldn’t even understand the question when someone asked if a particular clock was mechanical, or run by electricity. My guess is that he was basically just a slave). Anyway, my nominations? •Olaf, the mother-killing donkey-breeder from _Nestor the Long-Eared Chistmas Donkey_. (Who Nestor actually _came back to?_ And who _welcomes him with open arms_? What the hell? Did Nestor _tell_ the germanic pagan woodsman that he gave a ride to some pregnant Jewish lady a few thousand miles away so she could give birth to what was basically a normal child?) •God, from _Nestor_. (For implicitly setting up the whole, cruel, Nestor scenario—which was apparently his way of calling a taxi for the girl he knocked up and didn’t marry.) ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/48 "2007-12-20T15:14:41Z")
Rudolph. And the department store Santa from ‘A Christmas Story’. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/49 "2007-12-20T15:31:55Z")
There are quite a few parodies of Christmas songs. Walking around in womens underwear, frosty the pervert, etc. Hey, we all have our own ways of coping… ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/50 "2007-12-20T16:17:47Z")
This is pretty mild for the Pit, so I’m going to ship these holiday ill-wishes off to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/51 "2007-12-20T16:26:50Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] The original _Frosty the Snowman_ song was recorded in [1950](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frosty_the_Snowman), so these hypothetical parents should have had enough advance warning. [/QUOTE] That’s interesting. Since my mom was born in 1947, she may have heard the song before I was born. The TV short referenced by wiki was surely not seen here in Central WA before I was born. I know that lots of people have songs sung to them based on their names. Still, have you ever had to argue with a person in a snowman suit about your name? ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465/52 "2007-12-20T22:00:52Z")
The infant Jesus. What? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-jolly-xmas-character-would-you-like-to-see-in-hell/430465.md?page=2)