# What (just joking) things could the SDMB sell to raise revenue? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 25, 2008, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695 "2008-03-25T17:42:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/21 "2008-03-26T02:07:29Z")
- $50 for each use of tired old in-jokes. - $100 to make a new in-joke. ---
**Author:** ![freekalette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/50afbb/32.png) [@freekalette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freekalette)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/22 "2008-03-26T02:30:23Z")
$10 every time someone gets wooshed $25 for not providing a cite $42 whenever somone claims to have found the correct answer ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/23 "2008-03-26T02:42:01Z")
I’d like $10 for every time \*I’ve \* been whooshed. I’d like to buy a custom title, pad my post count a bit, and be a Mod for a day. How much will that cost me? ---
**Author:** ![phil417](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6bbea6/32.png) [@phil417](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phil417)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/24 "2008-03-26T03:13:49Z")
Opal seems to be held in high regard. So for $5.00, I could be Opal. Anyone else want to be Opal (for $5.00 b/o a pop)? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/25 "2008-03-26T03:37:47Z")
1 k of g for the first 14 Dopers to apply. Of course, we’d have to figure out how to get it out of the f p d, assuming we can even find the damned thing. Failing that, we could sell handsomely engraved grys. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/26 "2008-03-26T04:55:10Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] $500. You can request that one poster be suspended for a week. [/QUOTE] I thought $500 was good for two years? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/27 "2008-03-26T05:19:07Z")
[QUOTE=Santo Rugger] I thought $500 was good for two years? [/QUOTE] That was too enrich a specific doper, this is to enrich the boards. Hence the shorter timespan. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/28 "2008-03-26T07:29:49Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] We could whore out some of the more attractive members. [/QUOTE] ::: Starts making a list::: ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/29 "2008-03-26T09:01:18Z")
[QUOTE=Silver Tyger Girl] $50 to add a smiley for the board [/QUOTE] How about just having a pledge drive? If we raise, say, ten thousand bucks by July 1st, we can have a Smashie Smilie! ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/30 "2008-03-26T09:10:03Z")
If something in a thread makes you laugh so hard you snort coffee (or Coke) on your keyboard, not only does that person _not_ owe you a new keyboard, but _you_ have to put $10.00 in the SDMB coffers. _And_ if you make mention of someone owing you a new keyboard in those circumstances, there’s a $10.00 fine. Ooooh, ooooh, got another one. $250.00 to Junior Mod for a week; you’d even get a Junior Mod banner under your username. ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mycroft\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_H)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/31 "2008-03-26T13:01:13Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] You people are all just so much more mercenary than I am. All I could think of was selling a Darwin fish with the word CECIL inside it. [/QUOTE] While I am normally against making statements with my car, I would love to buy and display a CECIL fish. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/32 "2008-03-26T13:07:20Z")
$100 for the right to step into a thread and forbid any one member from posting in it. This could be used for things like preventing further hijacking, or allowing other members to have a semblance of rational discussion without having to deal with the “banned” poster’s rantings. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/33 "2008-03-26T14:27:38Z")
[QUOTE=flodnak] How about just having a pledge drive? If we raise, say, ten thousand bucks by July 1st, we can have a Smashie Smilie! [/QUOTE] People who don’t like smilies can pay $5/day to make them disappear. People who _do_ like smilies can pay $10/day to make them appear everywhere, including on the screens of the people who don’t like them. (I seem to recall phone companies using similar tactics with respect to caller ID and caller-ID blocking.) $2/day blocks a specific in-joke or piece of leetspeak from your screen. $15/month pre-searches the boards for a specified word or phrase, and maintains a ‘live’ index of links to it. What with the new standard for downloadable fonts, $500 gets you your very own font to post in. _Comic Sans forevar!_ ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/34 "2008-03-26T15:35:38Z")
[QUOTE=Silver Tyger Girl] $50 get someone to spellcheck for you [/QUOTE] For $20 I’ll tell you how to install Firefox, which includes spell checking. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/35 "2008-03-26T16:47:03Z")
T shirts, _Attractive_ t shirts. With the masthead and slogan on the front and ‘Cite?’, on the back. If more people viewing your banner ads is your goal how can you ignore this? How long till one would appear in a movie or a video? We’ve done this to death, we’ve begged them for it. I know how many people would buy one, (from the last time we explored this idea), no matter how overpriced, if they were available. Instead they’d rather offer that hideous illustration one which they can’t seem to give away for $10. Five plus years and counting, and they still have inventory, yikes! They already have the artwork for the masthead, they own the copyright, I guess there are no t shirt makers in Chicago. Seems a no brainer, but, alas, here at the Straight Dope, it seems the easiest things are are the hardest too. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/36 "2008-03-26T16:59:15Z")
I’ve often though the _Wheel of Fortune_ approach would be worth a try – you know, consonants are free, but if you want to use a vowel… ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/37 "2008-03-26T17:05:16Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] For $20 I’ll tell you how to install Firefox, which includes spell checking. 😉 [/QUOTE] I use Firefox. It doesn’t stop me from typing completely the wrong word. And it’s dictionary doesn’t seem to be very big. $20/day to add pictures - yay LOLcats! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/38 "2008-03-26T17:08:13Z")
For $50 you could have Cecil post in one of your threads. For $500, he could praise your “professionally written” OP. For $5,000 he could demean other posters on your behalf (maximum of 3 posts). ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/39 "2008-03-26T17:42:43Z")
[QUOTE=JohnT] For $50 you could have Cecil post in one of your threads. For $500, he could praise your “professionally written” OP. For $5,000 he could demean other posters on your behalf (maximum of 3 posts). [/QUOTE] I think Cecil would want at _least_ another zero at the end of those amounts. Maybe two. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2008, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695/40 "2008-03-26T17:42:56Z")
I’d be willing to pay a small sum for pictures of mods in the buff. I’m not going to say which ones. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-just-joking-things-could-the-sdmb-sell-to-raise-revenue/442695.md?page=3)