NM.
I made a post but it was just too cruel and mean and I regret posting it - even though I removed it. I am sorry.
Sometimes I just lose my moral compass. It is a very cruel thing when that happens.
I’m the fun kind, clearly.
(Another that fits somewhere in the giant gap between the “extremely moderate” and “binge drinking” set - I will have 3-4 “units” a night several nights a week, but I only get up to the binge level once or twice a year, if that. I also have no problem having a healthy pour of bourbon while reading a book alone if my wife’s working late, which sets off the “ALCOHOLIC OMG” alarm for a lot of people. I’d describe myself as a regular drinker, with no negative effects other than a few extra calories… but I guess we’ll vote in the “binge” category.)
nm
I voted functioning alcoholic, because by the above definition that’s true. I have 2-3 glasses of wine a night most nights, and sometimes more than that on a weekend. I only drink enough to get hung over a couple of times a year (get a little too happy at a party, say). I’ve never blacked out, and I’m extremely healthy. I’m not really seeing a problem with the situation, but I guess I’m an “alcoholic.”
Interesting. I am in AA and read all the literature and never saw that statement.
I have heard a few fanatics say that kind of stuff but that in noway is AA’s stance.
I do not care much what other programs say in their books. I just get tired of All the experts on AA who are totally clueless & full of incorrect information… 
Why no choice for a real bad alcoholic who is in recovery for 23+ years so far. Those kinds of alcoholics don’t count? :rolleyes:
Hang tough. It can be done. Got help & helpful family?
I really disagree with your opinion of yourself. This is obviously not harming you, your job, your family & being of the ‘lawman’ inclination, IMO, you are no where near a binge drinker.
You would need to get wayyyyy beyond LEGALLY drunk to have a real problem IMO and knowing what I do of you from the SDMB you ain’t there.
( Of course if stating that helps you in anyway I withdraw my opinion. ) 
The only time I drink is when I am eating steamed crabs. I have to have a beer or two, nothing else works with crabs for me.
A few times year I may order a drink if I go out to dinner.
So at the most I have 7-8 drinks a year.
As should be clear now, the issue wasn’t with “moderately.” It was with “extremely moderately.”
Non-drinking for over 24 years now.
When I did drink, it was bad.
That’s pretty much exactly me. I can buy a 12 pack of Coors light ‘just to have around’ and end up throwing away 9 cans a year and a half later because I forgot about them. If I go out with friends I tend/try to average a drink an hour with nothing alcoholic for the last hour or so and lots of water throughout the night.
Right now I have a bunch of beer in my fridge because I get samples of it at work. It’ll take me a few weeks to work through them. The last time I was ‘can’t walk shitfaced, here you drive’ was at a co-worker’s quinceanera and she turned 25 recently.
A combination of not really liking being drunk, good self control and just plain filling up to fast makes it easy. I get buzzed in a hurry, but I don’t think I could get falling down drunk on beer if I tried. The only way I’ve managed that is with shots.
I decided a long time ago that I won’t become an alcoholic until I’m too old to drive. Then I’ll have a reason.
Sicks Ate, did you picture people that never drank, or ex-drinkers, when you wrote your first option? Or did you figure a mix?
I’m in that category. I have read that studies that show a little drinking is good for you mistakenly lump all non drinkers together, which makes the non drinking category less healthy because it includes people who ruined their health with drink and then stopped. That obviously reaches a conclusion the wrong way.
Hey Sicks Ate, how about asking for this poll to be closed and starting anew incorporating the suggestions in this thread?
I get shitfaced about once a year. Other than those one or two times I don’t drink a drop throughout the year. The taste of it doesn’t agree with me.
Same here, though it hasn’t been 24 years. The best that can be said is that I didn’t kill someone.
TL;DR but there’s no option for “regularly drink a moderate amount with no lasting or cumulative effects.” Again, there’s an inbuilt assumption that “drinking more than a tad = some form of alcoholic, ‘functional’ or not.” I reject that assumption from within decades of personal experience and first-hand observation of teetotalers through end-stage drunks. (Too much of the latter - and of AA “permaholics.”)
I go through a 30 pack of beer a week, give or take a few (about 4 every night, sometimes 5, very rarely 6). I’ve been at this level for at least 7 or 8 years. I have an extremely high tolerance, and a small stomach, so I never actually feel “drunk”; to get there would take a considerable effort on my part. I could easily drink nearly everyone I know under the table without much effort.
I probably don’t have nine drinks in a year.
Ironically, I drink so little I’ve had some people assume I must have a drinking problem.
I am similar to you, except i drink less, and haven’t gotten drunk since explicitly experimenting with that in college. But like you, I feel crappy when I drink enough to feel an effect, so I avoid that. I have also concluded that getting a buzz must feel different to other people, or no one would do it in purpose.
(I’m on tapatalk, but will fill out the pill later)