# What kind of bomb would Jesus use? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 12, 2002, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-bomb-would-jesus-use/142328 "2002-12-12T20:53:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-bomb-would-jesus-use/142328/41 "2002-12-13T04:21:36Z")
Well, can’t we at least send them Fred Phelps? It’d be like anti-matter and they’d cancel each other out? Pretty please? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-bomb-would-jesus-use/142328/42 "2002-12-13T06:48:07Z")
Jesus would use a bomb made of fish and loaves, isn’t it obvious? It would be quite messy, though. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-bomb-would-jesus-use/142328/43 "2002-12-13T09:09:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > Well, can’t we at least send them Fred Phelps? It’d be like anti-matter and they’d cancel each other out? > > Pretty please? Actually, Phelps seems to _like_ Saddam Hussein: > [@](#): > > We understand that Iraq is the only Muslim state that allows the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ to be freely and openly preached on the streets without fear of arrest and prosecution. Alas, the United States no longer allows the Gospel to be freely and openly preached on the streets, because militant sodomites now control our government, and they violently object to the Bible message…The same majoritarian sodomite tyranny that now guides the Clinton administration’s repressive policies toward Gospel preaching on America’s streets, is apparently responsible – at least in part – for the merciless slaughter by starvation of 400 innocent Iraqi babies each day in your country. If our government and laws will allow it, and at the invitation of your government, we would like to send a delegation from Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, to preach the Gospel on the streets of Baghdad for one week in the near future. – from a letter from Fred Phelps to Saddam Hussein, November 30, 1997, [as quoted by the Anti-Defamation League](http://www.adl.org/special_reports/wbc/wbc_on_america.asp) ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-bomb-would-jesus-use/142328/44 "2002-12-13T11:29:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*I think He would use a love bomb. 🙂 \*\* Is that kind of like a Sex Bomb? pan ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-bomb-would-jesus-use/142328/45 "2002-12-13T14:28:02Z")
How about a Soy Bomb? ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-bomb-would-jesus-use/142328/46 "2002-12-13T15:33:58Z")
This Jesus character cannot make up his mind. He is all things, and all at once. I had a football coach that said in all seriousness that Jesus would make a great linebacker. I’ve heard that Jesus will punish wicked with fire. I’ve heard that Jesus loves and forgives. Basically people think what they want to think, and then defer all enquiries to Jesus in order to add a note of veracity. To wit, if Jesus were here he’d turn my coffee into Merlot and have Mary Magdalene give me a backrub while Peter sorted out my expense reports. My office is kinda empty today… do you think Jesus held a rapture and I missed it? ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-bomb-would-jesus-use/142328/47 "2002-12-13T16:36:10Z")
I can’t get this mental image of the air force capture jesus, cloning him and fixing percision bombing packets to him and using Jesus to spead peace, love and that pink goo that is in all of us to the enemy. ---
**Author:** ![lokij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@lokij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lokij)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-bomb-would-jesus-use/142328/48 "2002-12-13T17:41:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\*Jesus would use a bomb made of fish and loaves, isn’t it obvious? It would be quite messy, though. \*\* Heh, you stole my thunder… but think of the destructive potential? Imagine a small bomb case with a single fish, oh let’s say a sturgeon… and a loaf of good jewish rye. Imagine if you will that loaf and fish replicating in a chain reaction into hundreds of thousands of loaves and fishes in the space of a milisecond. The pressure wave alone would crumble entire buildings. ;\> The mop up work might best be done with a nice dry white wine. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-bomb-would-jesus-use/142328/49 "2002-12-13T18:51:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*I think he’d send them a hollowed out bomb containing **Chumpsky** , **december** , **Wildest Bill** , **Jack Dean Tyler** , **deeward** , **KayKay** , and **Justthink** and then they’d have to deal with that. \*\* I miss WV\_Woman. . . . . . . No, no, I mean I miss her in that list! 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-bomb-would-jesus-use/142328.md?page=2)