# What kind of people hump furniture? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 26, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807 "2005-01-26T19:40:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/41 "2005-01-30T23:29:26Z")
Now I know they’re called easy chairs! ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/42 "2005-01-31T01:28:02Z")
> [@Sublight](#): > > This explains why my parents never let me watch _Bedknobs and Broomsticks_. Why are you all looking at me like that for? My bed never even had knobs when I was a kid – my sister used to steal 'em. Um… Anyhow, you never rubbed up against anything when you were a kid just because it felt good? How is that different from, say, rubbing your back against a doorframe because you can’t reach that itch between your shoulder blades with your fingernails? Oh, yeah, it’s _sexual_… :rolleyes: What kind of people hump furniture? The kind who think it feels good. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/43 "2005-01-31T01:39:33Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Nobody? Come on, there’s guys that are into pegging, people who admit they’ve stuck their tongues up dogs’ asses, but nobody has humped furniture? Well there was that lamp. But just that once. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/44 "2005-01-31T02:28:26Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > I used to hump stuffed animals when I was a kid, but it’s never occurred to me to hump anything since I first discovered masturbation. > > Is this a real thing or a joke? Me too! I especially loved the Oscar the Grouch and the Barbie Head. Mmmm Barbie head. You know, you were supposed to style her hair. (Yeah right. Why’d they make her face so damn humpable then?) ---
**Author:** ![kezami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eb8c5e/32.png) [@kezami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kezami)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/45 "2005-01-31T03:32:00Z")
> [@Sengkelat](#): > > When I was very young, I discovered that doing pull-ups on a pole made it rub against my privates in a rather pleasant way. My first exposure to pleasurable feelings was in grade school gym class with rope climbing. I’m sure I took the longest time going up and coming down, so to speak. Later, I graduated to the goalpost in the schoolyard across from my house. I guess I deduced that it was the rubbing up and down that gave me an overwhelming feeling of pleasure so…in my bedroom I tried rubbing on the side of my door by using a chair and grabbing the top of the door with both hands, fingers locked. It worked! And an excellent workout too! Then I discovered masturbation, all the pleasure without the exhaustion and the rest is history. Oh ya. I saw that video. Same technique. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/46 "2005-01-31T03:50:24Z")
> [@pokey](#): > > Mmmm Barbie head. You know, you were supposed to style her hair. (Yeah right. Why’d they make her face so damn humpable then?) Well, for some of us, it was because our thingie was to big to fit in her mouth. You sure could do some amazing things with a Stretch Armstrong though. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/47 "2005-01-31T08:18:42Z")
When I was a kid, I knew a guy who tried to convince me that humping the vibrating handle of a push-mower was the way to paradise. No matter what, I just couldn’t get up the nerve to become intimate with lawn care equipment, not even if it did have a soft neoprene handle. I mean, just suppose you lost control and ran over your foot or something… what a mood-killer. ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/49 "2011-03-02T20:25:42Z")
> [@TheCouchHumper](#): > > I have been doin my couch for 3 1/2 months > On live video (spam removed by moderator). > Some people like it andsome can’t handle it. > I do the corner, the arm, and between the > cusions as well. It feels so soft and inviting to > use my couch for sex, if you haven’t seen it or tried it… > I recommend it:) > > ``` > Thanx > > ``` Let me get this straight…you eloped with your couch? ---
**Author:** ![Heyoka13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Heyoka13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heyoka13)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/50 "2011-03-02T20:26:49Z")
The furniture ‘thing’ was a subplot on an episode of Nip/Tuck. The steam cleaning of the couch in Sean’s office was pretty funny . . . ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/51 "2011-03-02T21:10:20Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Sometimes when the sofa thing gets too vanilla, I like to do the “end” table. Best poster/topic combo of the last um err 6 years. [Only because he’s still around-yes I know he’s been referenced before in this way] Too bad **Zombies Ate My Brain** isn’t around anymore, tho… ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/52 "2011-03-02T21:18:56Z")
I do so hate to threadshit, but WTF? Seriously, WTF? Am I such a prude to think furniture humping rather beyond the pale? ---
**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/53 "2011-03-03T19:10:19Z")
Rule 34. Everything you see, hear, smell, taste and touch is a fetish for someone. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/54 "2011-03-04T19:22:39Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > [Only because he’s still around-yes I know he’s been referenced before in this way] > > Too bad **Zombies Ate My Brain** isn’t around anymore, tho… I realized this was a zombie thread when I noticed **danceswithcats** , who unfortunately is no longer with us, had posted to this thread. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/55 "2011-03-04T19:43:44Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > Am I such a prude to think furniture humping rather beyond the pale? Yes. Yes you are. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2011, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807/56 "2011-03-05T01:07:26Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Also ‘making the bed’ That’s indecent. Unless you [marry it](http://plagiarist.com/poetry/607/). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kind-of-people-hump-furniture/286807.md?page=2)