# What kinda name is "Dorko"? And what are the worst last names youve heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485 "2007-10-29T19:29:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/21 "2007-10-29T20:40:39Z")
There’s a highly accomplished short-track racer whose last name is Trickle, which wouldn’t be so bad except that his first name is Dick. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/22 "2007-10-29T20:45:34Z")
I went to college with a guy who’s last name was Blob. A friend who visited his family’s house told me that they had a bunch of that country kitsch personalized stuff around the house, like planters and plaques that said “BLOB” on them. Fortunately for him, he was skinny. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/23 "2007-10-29T20:47:12Z")
Jungkuntz is/was the last name of a Dentist in the area. Too bad he didn’t go into gynecology. Or pediatrics. Or both. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/24 "2007-10-29T20:48:21Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] It would be hard to top baseball player Rusty Kuntz. He claimed it was pronounced “Koontz.” But you know that ain’t how it reads. [/QUOTE] Not to mention Seattle’s closer, J. J. Putz who pronounces it Puts if I am not mistaken. **Caricci** , well I never cranked called a Lipschitz, but I can’t help but giggle when I hear Hairy Lip Shits. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/25 "2007-10-29T21:32:07Z")
Down here in south Florida, serving as a judge, we have the Honorable Philip Yacucci. Say it out loud if you have to. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/26 "2007-10-29T21:35:45Z")
It’s an oldie, but I still say Dick Butkis is the worst name combination ever. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/27 "2007-10-29T21:44:02Z")
When I was in the Navy, I was stationed with a young woman whose last name was Hooker. She was such a sweet person, but I’m sure she took more than her share of abuse over the years. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/28 "2007-10-29T21:47:02Z")
Pecker, with a first name, Sumner Ho, with a first name, A Hunt, with a first name, Mike Morecock, with a first initial, C ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/29 "2007-10-29T22:00:00Z")
[QUOTE=FairyChatMom] When I was in the Navy, I was stationed with a young woman whose last name was Hooker. She was such a sweet person, but I’m sure she took more than her share of abuse over the years. [/QUOTE] The Cleveland Browns once had a wide receiver named [Fair Hooker](http://footballcardgallery.com/1972+Topps/239/), who inspired Don Meredith’s wisecrack: “Fair Hooker? I’ve never met one of those!” ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/30 "2007-10-29T22:03:38Z")
I know a few Hoares. 😉 I read an obituary months ago for a Mrs. Cocks, dearly departed wife of Dick. And, of course there’s always [Dick Assman.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Assman) We do business with a guy by the name of Zb1g Burd2y. (Where the 1 is an i and the 2 is a z. Masked for MY protection.) The smallest guy in my elementary class throughout school had the last name Inch. Oh, and Mike Hunt lived just around the corner from us! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/31 "2007-10-29T22:13:25Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] It would be hard to top baseball player Rusty Kuntz. [/QUOTE] I can: I once met a realtor whose name was Rose E. Kuntz. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/32 "2007-10-29T22:18:09Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] There’s a University of South Carolina quarterback named Chris Smelley. [/QUOTE] There’s an FSU football player with the last name “Fagg”. Given the reputation of athletes as being highly homophobic, I imagine he takes lots of grief on the field. ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/33 "2007-10-29T22:27:29Z")
[QUOTE=Lionne] A friend’s last name is **Bonk**. I couldn’t stop giggling the first time I heard it. [/QUOTE] Radek Bonk is a hockey player in the NHL. One of the most common complaints about his play? Despite his size, he doesn’t hit enough. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/34 "2007-10-29T23:11:40Z")
Wow, talk about synchronicity. I just saw on the news that none other than Brigadier General Dorko was wounded in Iraq today by an IED, becoming the highest ranking military person to be so injured. Was it wrong of me to snicker at his name? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/35 "2007-10-29T23:21:34Z")
I once knew a guy named Grant Dumbell. I also went to school with Dick Blewitt, and know a Jack Putz. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/36 "2007-10-29T23:29:31Z")
One day, my boss introduced me to a guest. He said, this is **Mr. Turnipseed**. It took everything I had to keep a straight face. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/37 "2007-10-29T23:38:08Z")
There was a woman where I used to work whose last name was Upthegrove. I never met her, just saw the name on an employee directory, and at first I thought it was some sort of joke. Then one day I Googled the name and found out there were quite a few people with that name. ---
**Author:** ![Dosipede](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dosipede](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dosipede)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/38 "2007-10-29T23:41:23Z")
I came across a kid in my work with the last name Jizmejian. I think it’s Armenian, but I’m not sure. I can only imagine what the poor kid’s friends call him. ---
**Author:** ![kellner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c2a13f/32.png) [@kellner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellner)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/39 "2007-10-29T23:47:08Z")
My uncle once worked with a Ms “von Hinten”. That sounds nicely aristocratic, in a teutonic way, doesn’t it? Unfortunately it means “from behind”. ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485/40 "2007-10-29T23:51:17Z")
Maybe it’s just me…is it just me? Oh, c’mon, it _can’t_ be just me. I’ve thought it before, and I still believe it now… “Kyrzyzewski” is an absolute balls-out 110% **bizarre** name. And it’s a miracle that the most he ever had to suffer for it was a corny Bud Light-sponsored promo. (That he was in!) Sheesh, I’m as open-minded as the next I-don’t-care-I’m-from-freakin’-Hawaii sports fan, but that name is just plain wrong. Look, if it were _kinda_ unphonetic, or even _mostly_ unphonetic, that’d be something. I’d be fine with Zhachofski, Chijievski, or even Shuiestupski…even that looks at least VAGUELY like how you’re supposed to pronounce it. It’s pretty impressive that he was able to ice a lifetime contract with one of the most elite college basketball programs at the country. I mean, think of the sport’s other coaching greats. Smith. Wooden. Knight. Pitino. Valvano. Brown. Rupp. Summit. Not exactly a hotbed of quirky ethnicity. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-kinda-name-is-dorko-and-what-are-the-worst-last-names-youve-heard/424485.md?page=3)