# What lame jokes do people ALWAYS make when they meet you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 21, 2002, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028 "2002-09-21T21:14:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/61 "2002-09-23T01:53:05Z")
My last name is Armstrong so I occasionally get some crack about the moon or “one small step” or something along those lines. Also, in school I was quite puny so I got called some names like “Armweak” or “Legweak” - kids can be so inventive! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dono \* > **If I don’t laugh at these gems, it’s "Hey, just kidding! Aint’cha gotta sensea humor?"** A bit off topic, but this made me think of another remark I seem to get every now and then: “Smile, it might never happen!”. When people say this to me it just makes me fell like smashing their face in. (not really, but its quite annoying anyway!). ---
**Author:** ![Roadwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@Roadwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadwalker)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/62 "2002-09-23T02:42:27Z")
Not as much a joke, but I have 5 kids and if I had a buck for each time I heard: “looks like you got your hands full” I could put one through college. ---
**Author:** ![DarkWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee59a6/32.png) [@DarkWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkWriter)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/63 "2002-09-23T04:31:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > \*\*Yeah, then there is the name thing. > > My name is Cheri. If I had a dollar for everytime anyone sang “Sherry” (huge hit by the Four Seasons when I was but a sprout) when introduced to me, I would be FAR richer than I am, THAT’S for sure. Not that I really mind, since I am a Four Season’s fan and all, but still… > > Then there is “My Cherie Amour” by Stevie Wonder. And “My Cherie” by Al Martino. And…well, you get the drift. Turns out that for some reason Cheri/Cherie is a popular name for songwriters to use. Don’t know why…must be the french connection. > > 😃 \*\* Yep, I’m a Sheri also. And I _was_ named for the Frankie Valli song. I get all those you mentioned, plus when I was in elementary school, there were a few smartasses who would say “I’d like some Sheri on the rocks!” Ha ha. Of course, at that age I didn’t know what they meant, and they probably didn’t know what they meant, but I hated it anyway. Sheri ---
**Author:** ![kirk280980](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c77e96/32.png) [@kirk280980](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kirk280980)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/64 "2002-09-23T05:31:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kirkland1244 \* > \*\*I get a lot of Captain Kirk jokes. Damn William Shatner. Damn him to hell! > > Kirk \*\* Same here :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/65 "2002-09-23T08:22:26Z")
“Feed me, Seymour! Feeeeeed me!” Oh yeah, I heard it enough to last me several lifetimes when the stoopid movie came out. It’s amazing how not funny people can be when they’re joking, and it’s amazing how they expect you to laugh right along with them. You’re being a spoilsport if you’re not even amused by their oh-so-original remark. :rolleyes: Right. Look, you shuttheheckup, and I’ll try to find a way to bear the burden of not finding anything at all funny about being compared to an overgrown, evil, man-eating bugtrap. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/66 "2002-09-23T09:41:05Z")
My REAL first name is Seven. “Is your sister named eight?” “Were you the 7th born?” “Hey, have you seen that Seinfeld episode?” I’m seriously running out of places to dump the bodies. ---
**Author:** ![Anahita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9a28c/32.png) [@Anahita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anahita)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/67 "2002-09-23T09:43:21Z")
Annie Oakley Annie, get your gun AnnieBananie AnniefromIranie ho ho ho ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/68 "2002-09-23T09:48:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JuanitaTech \* > \*\*Michael Bolton? lol! > > Anyhoo, at least once a year some old man, upon learning my first name, sings that song that has Juanita in it. I’ve no clue what it’s called and I’ve never heard it, but apparently it’s about a gal named Juanita… \*\* “I love Juanita, my sweetheart from Venezuela A yes, Juanita, my sweetheart from Venezuela” 😃 (I just happen to really dig old Harry Belafonte tracks) ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/69 "2002-09-23T10:32:48Z")
My last name is Bradshaw and I used to get all the questions about being related to the world famous football quarterback–are you Terry Bradshaw’s uncle/cousin/brother/etc., etc. Since my ex-wife’s name is Terry, I used to delight in being able to respond by saying, “No, I’m Terry Bradshaw’s husband.” Reactions to that were widely varied. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/70 "2002-09-23T11:18:51Z")
I work in a nuclear power plant. No… I don’t glow and no I don’t know Homer Simpson. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/71 "2002-09-23T12:40:57Z")
My last name is Tyson. I am also white. No, I’m not related to Mike (ha ha ha - That’s rich! And so original.) ---
**Author:** ![Go\_alien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Go\_alien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_alien)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/72 "2002-09-23T12:58:56Z")
My surname is Oag. It’s a good old Scottish surname. The pathetic jokes I always get are “Are you sure it’s not Oaf/Ogre? fnar, fnar” When I am asked my name, I always have to spell it. Even so I have had a variety of misspellings despite my best efforts - Dag, Ogg, Oad - but the worst case was… Cretin on the end of the phone: “And what is your name sir?” Me: “Oag, spelt O - A - G.” Cretin on the end of the phone: “Are you sure?” :mad: :mad: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Shabadu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@Shabadu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shabadu)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/73 "2002-09-23T15:23:59Z")
My first name is Jane, and I cannot count the number of men who have met me and the first thing they say when they hear my name is: “Me Tarzan, you Jane.” It is usually done in a really bad Tarzan voice, followed by “I bet you never heard that one before.” ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/74 "2002-09-23T16:17:08Z")
The only one I hear, and it usually comes a month or so after someone meets me, is that my last name is Fowler. “Oh, you’re a foul one, aren’t you?” nyuk frickin’ nyuk, guys… ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/75 "2002-09-23T16:19:08Z")
From Office Space. > [@](#): > > Samir: No one is this country can ever pronounce my name right. It’s not that hard: Nayee-Nanajar. Nayeenanajar. > Michael Bolton: Yeah, well, at least your name isn’t Michael Bolton. > Samir: You know, there’s nothing wrong with that name. > Michael Bolton: There WAS nothing wrong with it. Until I was about 12 years old, and that no-talent-ass-clown became famous and started winning Grammys. > Samir: Why don’t you just go by Mike, instead of Michael? > Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change it? He’s the one who sucks. My real name is Smokestoomuch. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/76 "2002-09-23T16:31:35Z")
Since “Mr. Whipple” commercials aren’t as common, I don’t hear it as much but: “Don’t squeeze the Charmin.” And strangley, they’d look so pleased with themselves as if they actually thought I’d never her that one before… ---
**Author:** ![sycorob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@sycorob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sycorob)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/77 "2002-09-23T16:31:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Seven \* > \*\*My REAL first name is Seven. > > “Is your sister named eight?” > “Were you the 7th born?” > “Hey, have you seen that Seinfeld episode?” > > I’m seriously running out of places to dump the bodies. \*\* Nobody’s ever referenced “7 of 9” from Star Trek? Maybe I have more geek friends than you do… My girlfriend’s name is Anu: “So, if you married a dude with the last name of Carr, you’d be …” She loves it. Really, she does. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/78 "2002-09-23T17:01:08Z")
My last name is Lopez, and for some reason, people (mostly fellow classmates and such) like to ask: “You related to Jennifer?” I kind of want to say “THERE ARE A FREAKIN TRILLION PEOPLE NAMED LOPEZ GEEZ LOUISUS!!!” Instead, I usually say “Yes, she’s my wife.” Sometimes I say “Yes, she’s my wife, and we like to have hot orgies with Sarah and Michael (or whatever the names of his parents are); by the way, your mom likes it in the ass, she loves to make a little moaning sound.” That usually shuts them up (and hopefully sets up disturbing images in their mind for many hours to come ;)) - Wind ---
**Author:** ![mountain\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@mountain\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mountain_man)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/79 "2002-09-23T17:25:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\*My real name is Smokestoomuch. \*\* Well, you’d better cut down a little then. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/80 "2002-09-23T17:30:20Z")
I have a whole stack of sisters, and no brothers, and the next person who says “Bet your dad NEVER wins an argument”, or some other moronic thing about how my dad’s the lone male in the family, is going to regret it. One that amuses me: I have an unusual given name, and people often say “Can you spell that?” No, I can’t. I’ve had this name all my life, and I still can’t figure out what order the letters go in. OF COURSE I CAN SPELL IT, YOU IDIOT! if you WANT me to spell it, just ask. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028.md?page=5)