# What lame jokes do people ALWAYS make when they meet you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 21, 2002, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028 "2002-09-21T21:14:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/81 "2002-09-23T17:38:47Z")
Telling people you’re from Hawaii always makes for a litany of comments, some ignorant and some curious. I try to field them all with grace and surprise, as if I’d never before heard: “So how long have you lived in the States?” and its variation “When did you come to the States?” Sometimes, I don’t have the heart to correct them. If I’m in a pissy mood, though, watch out. “Why would you ever want to move _here_?” This one is best asked in the middle of winter, with snow swirling around outside. The jokes are more of the “do you live in a grass shack/wear a grass skirt and coconut bra/surf all day/lie out on the beach” variety. There’s the occasional inquiry about the Brady’s freaky tiki, but those seem to have died off lately. ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/82 "2002-09-23T18:44:45Z")
The one I get all the time now is “if we stand on either side of you, you’ll be in the middle!” Wanna take a stab at my name?🙂 And a friend of mine is named “Jon Smith.” He gets stupid comments about it all the time, mostly from my dad. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/83 "2002-09-23T19:21:43Z")
My last name is “Darigo.” No, we didn’t invent the fucking tortilla chip. My full name is very Italian. And since I’m 6’4" with brown hair, fair skin, and brown eyes, I get the “Well, you don’t LOOK Italian!” response from lots of folks. Eventually I realized that if I told them my name used to be Ernie Hitler but I changed it to avoid any connection to Great-Uncle Adolf they’ll shut up while they try to figure out if I’m shitting them. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/84 "2002-09-23T20:30:50Z")
Remember Rocky IV? The one with Dolph Lundgren? My last name is the same as his characters’ last name. No, I’m not Russian, you turd. No, I’m not related to Dolph Lundren, either (I swear, whatever leap of logic that took…). And most importantly, no I do NOT have a brother named Ivan. Reality…movies…NOT THE SAME THING. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/85 "2002-09-23T22:31:09Z")
“Ernie Hitler”!!! BAHAHAHAHA!!! Do you live with your friend, “Bert Mussolini?” And hang out with “Kermit Tojo” and “Grover Himmler?” ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/86 "2002-09-23T23:15:06Z")
I met a woman named Juliet on the train while in England. I feel bad that the only thing I could stammer out was a lame, “Do people make lots of Romeo & Juliet jokes?” At least I didn’t make the joke myself. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/87 "2002-09-24T01:33:04Z")
I actually don’t mind the references to my last name… “Hey, Don’t I remember you from such films as _Why Melvin Has Two Dads_ and _Dial G For Gingivitis_?” ---
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/88 "2002-09-24T02:36:36Z")
> [@](#): > > **jinwicked** : I also hate it when people argue with me about my name. What’s your real name? Jin Wicked. No, really, what’s your REAL name? Jin Wicked. No, what’s your REAL NAME? THAT IS MY REAL NAME YOU BRAINLESS TURD! You said in the name change thread that it wasn’t your real name. Doesn’t matter… whether you chose it or were given it, it’s weird enough that people are going to think you made it up. Just let it go. Trust me. -fortunate hazel ---
**Author:** ![ClairificC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ea924/32.png) [@ClairificC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ClairificC)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/89 "2002-09-24T02:46:36Z")
Thought someone would of mentioned this one by now… I can play … the flute. Occasially this will come up in conversation, about 5 years ago nothing was wrong, now it goes somthing like this. Them: “Oh really?? What instrument do you play?” Me: “The flute” Them: “and one time at band camp…” hahahahahaha hahaha haha ha ha h a Them ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/90 "2002-09-24T11:54:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by brondicon \* > **Telling people you’re from Hawaii always makes for a litany of comments, some ignorant and some curious.** Mom, who’s half local, would always get comments on how well she spoke English. She should since it’s her first and only language. I look like a good ol’ boy from Alabamy. Why I could be Bo Duke’s older brother. I don’t get weird comments about Hawaii at all. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/91 "2002-09-24T13:02:38Z")
My first name is Michelle, so I was subjected to the song for years. As a kid, I went by “Mickie” - so I heard the mouse song all the time. My married name is West - as in Mae or Wild, Wild - yeah, clever. I’m an engineer. No, not choo-choo train. Aerospace. Yeah, rocket scientist - sure. The one that kills me is any variant on “Oh, you’re from/you went to school in/you lived in/you worked for… Do you know \?” But of course. I even spent a weekend in London once. The queen and I are like _this_! And I know every person who was ever in the Navy, ever went to Purdue, ever lived in Florida or San Diego or Baltimore. It’s just that my memory isn’t what it used to be… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/92 "2002-09-24T13:48:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*And I know every person who was ever in the Navy, ever went to Purdue, ever lived in Florida or San Diego or Baltimore. It’s just that my memory isn’t what it used to be… :rolleyes: \*\* Hey, do you know my friend’s husband? He was in the Navy. He was on the USS Something or other. I think it was named after a state. Or maybe a President, I can’t remember now. Anyway, he was in the Navy, so you MUST know him. 😉 And I live in Baltimore, so we must know each other, right, **Hon**? My story. My first name is Betsey. I’ve heard every Betsy Ross and Betsy-Wetsy joke there is. I’m sick of them. They’re not that funny, trust me. Don’t ask me to make you a flag. Don’t ask if ‘Betsy-Wetsy’ needs her diaper changed. It’s not funny. Not surprisingly, the people who think they are the funniest turn out to be incredible idiots. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/93 "2002-09-24T13:59:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DAVEW0071 \* > \*\*“Ernie Hitler”!!! > > BAHAHAHAHA!!! > > Do you live with your friend, “Bert Mussolini?” And hang out with “Kermit Tojo” and “Grover Himmler?” \*\* Hey hey! Don’t forget my old buddy SnuffullupaGoering! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kiting\_Illini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Kiting\_Illini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiting_Illini)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/94 "2002-09-24T14:38:54Z")
I have two: Through some horrible biological accident, I was born to parents who thought it would be ‘cute’ to put the first name ‘Dean’ with my paternal grandfather’s name ‘Martin’. DOLTS! My wife and I ride a tandem bicycle a lot. To those who seem to have a burning desire to know/comment (which includes practically everyone within earshot): Yes, she IS pedaling back there. No, she’s NOT making me do all the work. No, I don’t believe that she is asleep. No, you wouldn’t like to be the ‘passenger’ on a tandem. No, she doesn’t ‘have her feet up’ Yes, to most people, her ‘view’ would be unpleasant, but she seems to like it, or at least tells me she does which is almost as good. …and a thousand variations thereof. I try really hard to not make jokes like the ones in this thread. It’s fairly easy since I figure if I came up with it, so did about a million other people before me. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/95 "2002-09-24T19:52:11Z")
/snip/ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SHAKES \* > \*\*Well, my real name is Richard so I always get the old joke “huh, > huh, hey isn’t _Dick_ short for _Richard_?” \*\* /snip/ Like you, my friend, my first name is also Richard. However, whe I get that joke, I respond by saying… “Well, in MY case, “dick” is LONG for Richard.” 😉 I caught GrizzWife smiling and blushing once after I said that line. ---
**Author:** ![Texican](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ebca7d/32.png) [@Texican](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Texican)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/96 "2002-09-24T19:52:29Z")
I have the same name as the guy that wrote the music for just about every Spielburg and Lucas film. Yes, the last name is Williams, you can guess the rest. And yes, I play in the NBA (two different times) and in the NFL ( a couple or more, not sure, I think i just saw me again last week for a different team). When customers would ask, i’d just say that this was my day job in case the music thing didn’t work out in the long run. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/97 "2002-09-24T21:02:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Soup\_du\_jour \* > \*\*Heh. > > My twin brother and I hung out quite a bit during high school. Trust me when I tell you this. Every last one of the following responses has been done at least one hundred gazillion badillion times. > > … > > -“Wouldn’t it bee cool if, like, one of you were born at 11:59 PM and the other were born at 12:01 AM? Then you’d be born on differnet days! That would be sweet!” > \*\* But how many times has someone asked you if it would be cool if you’d been born on a hospital ship travelling backwards over the international date line? So that you were born on different days, with the younger one having the birthday that came first? And what if leap year was involved? Huh? WHAT ABOUT LEAP YEAR??? ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2002, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/98 "2002-09-25T01:10:10Z")
Yeah, and the hospital ship was travelling at 90% the speed of light! What then? ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2002, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/99 "2002-09-25T03:07:09Z")
My real name is Kinsey. If it’s not the Sex Report jokes (and snide sniggering), it’s “Huh?” or “What kinda name is that?” or “Did you make that up?” Or we veer off into the Kinsey Millhone questions. As another poster mentioned, people always act like I’m some spoilsport for not laughing like a hyena at the Kinsey Sex Reports jokes, and they’ll say, “Whatsa matter, doncha’ gotta sense of humor?” Yeah, I do have a sense of humor. It’s just not funny after hearing it 5 million times, okay? ---
**Author:** ![Emilio\_Lizardo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Emilio\_Lizardo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emilio_Lizardo)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028/100 "2002-09-25T18:41:44Z")
PRETTY GIRL AT PARTY: So, what do you do? ME: I’m a physicist. PRETTY GIRL: [Backs away quietly.] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-lame-jokes-do-people-always-make-when-they-meet-you/129028.md?page=6)