# What land will you choose to be viceroy of after the conquest? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 5, 2008, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208 "2008-09-05T17:04:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/101 "2008-09-10T13:10:50Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Oh fellow Viceregals, I have an deal to offer. Inventory of the realm has revealed a dearth of choice surf spots in mainland British Columbia. In exchange for surf access, I offer choice BC bud, and a bevy of Pamela Anderson look-alikes, as well as favourable deals on softwood lumber. Don’t you have any decent males to offer? Decent in the looks sense; indecent behavior would evidently be a plus. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/102 "2008-09-11T00:48:49Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Don’t you have any decent males to offer? > > Decent in the looks sense; indecent behavior would evidently be a plus. Certainly. Male Pamela Anderson lookalikes are also available. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/103 "2008-09-11T00:55:09Z")
I’ll take Canyonlands, and not just the National Park. So I guess that would be the Colorado Plateau. Ooh! And I want toyland-for the Babes. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/104 "2008-09-11T11:10:02Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Certainly. Male Pamela Anderson lookalikes are also available. I change my request. I want any land which allows me to take this viceroy-wannabe who thinks Pam Anderson’s boobs are desirable on a guy and decontaminate the Earth of the presence of such non-ideas. EEEEEEEEEEK and double EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK and triple EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! ---
**Author:** ![puppygod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@puppygod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puppygod)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/105 "2008-09-11T13:24:13Z")
Any chance for Okinawa to be separated from Japan? Would be a great place: white beaches, beautiful girls, great cuisine, main base of Pacific fleet of antigravity battleships, blue seas, coral reefs, giant anthropomorphic robots, good climate… Perfect for spending vacations. Also good as a kind of counterweight against \*\*Autolycus \*\*ambitions 😉 If it’s not an option, I’ll take Tibet. Highground good. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/106 "2008-09-11T14:17:37Z")
> [@puppygod](#): > > Any chance for Okinawa to be separated from Japan? Would be a great place: white beaches, beautiful girls, great cuisine, main base of Pacific fleet of antigravity battleships, blue seas, coral reefs, giant anthropomorphic robots, good climate… Perfect for spending vacations. > > Also good as a kind of counterweight against \*\*Autolycus \*\*ambitions 😉 Secession from the Empire of Greater Martini, encompassing as it does not one but two countries? An Empire which is part of the Pith Helmet Alliance with **The Loaded Dog** Raj? No, I think you’d best go and make the most of Tibet. Perhaps you can trade Yak pelts for Diamonds, Sake, Ivory, Lee-Enfield Rifles, and Pith Helmets from us. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![puppygod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@puppygod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puppygod)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/107 "2008-09-11T14:40:20Z")
Oh well, even better. Great views, mystic culture, ancient weapons, bio-engineered Yeti soldiers and army of monks, who can kill you with their brains. Sweet. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/108 "2008-09-11T14:43:15Z")
I wish to be the Baron of Botswana. I’ll build a wall around it to keep out the rabble, and dine on kudu steaks. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/109 "2008-09-11T14:51:16Z")
> [@puppygod](#): > > Any chance for Okinawa to be separated from Japan? Would be a great place: white beaches, beautiful girls, great cuisine, main base of Pacific fleet of antigravity battleships, blue seas, coral reefs, giant anthropomorphic robots, good climate… Perfect for spending vacations. I _knew_ there was a reason I wanted to visit Japan. Fortunately, Okinawa is just a short hop across the water from Vancouver Island. And when Vancouver Island is mobile again, we’ll come to visit. All of us. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/110 "2008-09-11T20:15:45Z")
> [@puppygod](#): > > Any chance for Okinawa to be separated from Japan? Would be a great place: white beaches, beautiful girls, great cuisine, main base of Pacific fleet of antigravity battleships, blue seas, coral reefs, giant anthropomorphic robots, good climate… Perfect for spending vacations. > > Also good as a kind of counterweight against \*\*Autolycus \*\*ambitions 😉 > > If it’s not an option, I’ll take Tibet. Highground good. Ah, you can have Okinawa. It’s sure to start a war 'twixt thee and Autolycus, but that is not my problem and, anythistle, it should be amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/111 "2008-09-11T20:33:35Z")
Can I have the Warner Bros properties? And have the power to bomb them if they make another bad cartoon, lame movie, or fuck with Batman some more? I can make sure they remake Thundercats and do a GOOD JOB. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/112 "2008-09-11T20:49:28Z")
> [@Silver Tyger Girl](#): > > Can I have the Warner Bros properties? And have the power to bomb them if they make another bad cartoon, lame movie, or fuck with Batman some more? I can make sure they remake Thundercats and do a GOOD JOB. As long as you agree to bomb Disney as punishment for, well, being Disney. (You may allow the Pixar staff to evacuate first.) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/113 "2008-09-12T01:39:14Z")
> [@Silver Tyger Girl](#): > > Can I have the Warner Bros properties? Perhaps we could discuss the colorizing of _Casablanca._ ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/114 "2008-09-12T03:02:49Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Perhaps we could discuss the colorizing of _Casablanca._ They colorized Casablanca? _Why?_ I’d also prevent them from remaking any movie that had a perfectly good version already. > [@](#): > > As long as you agree to bomb Disney as punishment for, well, being Disney. On second thought, public executions send a clearer message. Disney has some good people working them, we just need to get rid of the idiots at the top. I’m thinking putting their heads on stakes in front of the executive offices will keep the new people in line. (No, Disney, we don’t need a sequel for every movie you’ve ever made. And while we’re at it, could your movies possibly resemble their source material, por favor?Bastards.) ---
**Author:** ![lynxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e99b99/32.png) [@lynxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lynxie)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/115 "2008-09-12T05:01:42Z")
Skald The Mighty, Lord of Damned Near Everything in The Galaxy - When you finish your Time Machine, may I have Pangaea? I really am quite content with Iceland but I think somebody should be in charge of genetically engineering the vast numbers of Very Large Creatures that you will need when these ‘viceroys’ rebel (all of them except me and the other Canucks because we’re too polite for that kind of thing, of course) despite your largess. Thank You for your time. ---
**Author:** ![lynxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e99b99/32.png) [@lynxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lynxie)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/116 "2008-09-12T05:03:39Z")
dup ---
**Author:** ![puppygod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@puppygod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puppygod)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/117 "2008-09-12T07:49:58Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Ah, you can have Okinawa. It’s sure to start a war 'twixt thee and Autolycus, but that is not my problem and, anythistle, it should be amusing. Thank you, M’Lord. Wisest decision, as always. You heard that, **Auto**? I’m sending submarines to recover and irradiate oversized reptiles frozen under antarctic ice ASAP. You better prepare Tokyo for some serious stomping. So, that means Tibet is free for taking. Anybody wants it? Bets sniper lookout in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/118 "2008-09-12T07:59:41Z")
> [@puppygod](#): > > Thank you, M’Lord. Wisest decision, as always. > > You heard that, **Auto**? I’m sending submarines to recover and irradiate oversized reptiles frozen under antarctic ice ASAP. You better prepare Tokyo for some serious stomping. Hah, go ahead and destroy it. The real city is already underground anyway. In any case, Mothra and Gideon are already on their way to Okinawa. Prepare yo’self. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/119 "2008-09-12T08:01:36Z")
> [@lynxie](#): > > Skald The Mighty, Lord of Damned Near Everything in The Galaxy - > > When you finish your Time Machine, may I have Pangaea? I really am quite content with Iceland but I think somebody should be in charge of genetically engineering the vast numbers of Very Large Creatures that you will need when these ‘viceroys’ rebel (all of them except me and the other Canucks because we’re too polite for that kind of thing, of course) despite your largess. > > Thank You for your time. I’m not rebelling against anybody! Except for people who think large boobs belong on guys, I’ll be perfectly happy to let the rest of the impolite viceroys kill each other. ---
**Author:** ![lynxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e99b99/32.png) [@lynxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lynxie)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208/120 "2008-09-12T09:10:01Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I’m not rebelling against anybody! Except for people who think large boobs belong on guys, I’ll be perfectly happy to let the rest of the impolite viceroys kill each other. Okay, then. The Canucks and Nava. But everyone else will - mark my words. I think. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-land-will-you-choose-to-be-viceroy-of-after-the-conquest/462208.md?page=7)