# What 'laws' have you come up with? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 25, 2017, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233 "2017-04-25T18:18:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/1 "2017-04-25T18:18:09Z")
Sort of like Godwin’s law or along those lines. Doesn’t have to be anything others acknowledge or follow, but any 'dopers have any thing like that that they secretly believe or follow? Here’s mine: XT’s law of pizza in the work place-ask any group of cow-orkers what sorts of pizza they will want and they will desire all sorts of strange pizzas with all sorts of (mainly vegetable based) gloop. However, when the pizzas are actually set out and devoured, inevitably they will eat the one pizza that I want (and the corollary…they only order ONE of these because ‘no one likes that’) to eat, while at the end the several pizzas ordered with the gloop will still mainly be there at the end (there is another corollary about how at least half of the gloop pizzas will be left for every non-XT standard/XT edible pizza ordered). 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/2 "2017-04-25T18:22:17Z")
**Shodan** ’s Law: If they didn’t read it the first time, they won’t read it the second time either. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/3 "2017-04-25T18:27:37Z")
99% of the time, when people are confronted about something, their response will either be denial (“No, I don’t support X”) or defense (“Yes, I support X, but it’s a good thing.”) ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/4 "2017-04-25T18:34:49Z")
\*\*[Chekhov’s Lesbian](http://newsletter.wordspy.com/w/hzcDs2763EwNdnBtQxOk6UQw/4xcr7qnYBEa8sMKqA1eN2A/NnfO1KCDWklyGfyuHvR1Cw). (Scroll down to “Word of the Week.”) \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/5 "2017-04-25T18:35:49Z")
The more artists, specifically in their works, insist that they are genuine, the more likely they are profit-driven pop machines. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/6 "2017-04-25T18:37:14Z")
There will always be someone or something blocking the exact place in a store where the item you need is located. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/7 "2017-04-25T18:40:02Z")
The quality of a pizza place is inversely proportional to the number of restaurants in the chain. If there’s any possible way to misinterpret instructions, someone will find it. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/8 "2017-04-25T18:40:46Z")
The harder you try to prevent something bad from happening, the faster and more likely that it will happen, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/9 "2017-04-25T18:41:27Z")
Shredded cabbage tastes better than unshredded cabbage (Cole’s Law) ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/10 "2017-04-25T18:41:48Z")
Barbarian’s Law: You are not writing effectively unless you piss off as many people as you please. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/11 "2017-04-25T18:50:11Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Shredded cabbage tastes better than unshredded cabbage (Cole’s Law) That deserves Up Laws. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/12 "2017-04-25T18:50:58Z")
Never trust adult men that don’t drink beer. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/13 "2017-04-25T18:52:12Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > There will always be someone or something blocking the exact place in a store where the item you need is located. Likewise, when you pull over to the side of an aisle at the store to check your list or answer your phone, someone will want something right where you are stopped. Also, there will always be an oncoming vehicle as you approach a narrow spot in the road. This also works on bicycle trails. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/14 "2017-04-25T18:59:08Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Never trust adult men that don’t drink beer. Along that line, XT’s 4th law of IT…never trust a skinny IT tech (this is similar to the law to never trust a skinny chef). There are several collieries concerning fitness and IT techs or IT techs who only eat healthy food as well. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/15 "2017-04-25T19:05:39Z")
If you try to use a simple solution to “level the playing field”, the people who already have advantages will be able to more successfully make use of whatever you make available, increasing the gap. There are ways around this, but you have to be really, really careful when you put programs in place. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/16 "2017-04-25T19:08:06Z")
The other lane always moves faster. Unless you enter it. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/17 "2017-04-25T19:19:09Z")
**Colibri’s First Law of Travel:** Never pass up a chance to piss. If you do, you will regret it. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/18 "2017-04-25T19:27:17Z")
Gym Buddy Law: the guy who has the locker next to you will show up as you try to get dressed for exercise, crowding the immediate area. The Loneliness Corollary: If you go into an empty locker room and pick a locker, when you return to that empty locker room, the locker next to you will have been taken, and will most likely lead to the Gym Buddy law. The Parking Lot Corollary: If you park in an empty lot, and make a quick stop in a store, when you leave you will find some moron has parked right next to you even though the lot is empty. ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/19 "2017-04-25T19:31:28Z")
My Father invented one: The Law of Malevolence of the Inanimate — Things are out to get you. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/20 "2017-04-25T19:33:15Z")
Anything you’ve not used in ages, then packed into a trunk or attic will be required for use within a week! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233.md?page=2)