# What 'laws' have you come up with? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 25, 2017, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233 "2017-04-25T18:18:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2017, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/201 "2017-05-13T14:47:49Z")
If you are waiting at a green light to turn left, the odds that the driver behind you will honk his horn to hurry you up is directly proportional to the number and speed of the pedestrians you are waiting for to cross the intersection. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2017, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/202 "2017-05-13T17:12:39Z")
If you are first in line at a left turn pocket with a permissive green light, the size of the empty gap in opposing traffic coming your way is proportional to the size of the jacked-up pickup truck in the opposing turn pocket that prevents you seeing that wonderful empty gap. The pickup truck will turn left and clear your view just as the empty gap becomes too small for you to use. Thereby forcing you to wait another light cycle. By which time another jacked-up pickup truck will have arrived. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2017, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/203 "2017-05-13T19:36:39Z")
> [@CelticKnot](#): > > To sum up: The greater the number of managers in an organization, the greater the amount of crap falling on employees. This is known as the Multi-Story Outhouse rule. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![anomalous1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@anomalous1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anomalous1)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2017, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/204 "2017-05-15T02:07:13Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > **Grr’s law of receiving texts while driving:** If you receive a text while driving, every stoplight you pass will be green. And conversely, if you receive NO texts while driving, every stoplight you come upon will be red. THIS! Oh and my own law If you have a Wife/Girlfriend/Partner, if you like, they will hate it. Never fails. ---
**Author:** ![Rocky\_from\_Plano](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Rocky\_from\_Plano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocky_from_Plano)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2017, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/205 "2017-05-15T16:07:01Z")
**Rocky’s 2nd Rule of Computer Gaming:** When you are playing a game requiring undivided concentration, your spouse will interrupt at the most crucial point in the game, normally resulting your character’s death. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2017, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/206 "2017-05-16T03:56:33Z")
Enola’s Premium Refueling Law-if your car’s engine has 11/1 compression ratio or has intercooled turbos…thus requiring at least 93 octane…whoever has the pump before you gassed up with cheap 87. The guy before you put 5 bucks in his Honda Civic, now you are shelling out $40 and (tracing the route of fuel flow from underground tank, the pump, the hose, and nozzle) _the first gallon you paid $4.29 (and 9/10ths) is_ **SHIT GAS!** ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2017, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/207 "2017-05-16T04:39:35Z")
> [@Enola\_Straight](#): > > Enola’s Premium Refueling Law-if your car’s engine has 11/1 compression ratio or has intercooled turbos…thus requiring at least 93 octane…whoever has the pump before you gassed up with cheap 87. > > The guy before you put 5 bucks in his Honda Civic, now you are shelling out $40 and > (tracing the route of fuel flow from underground tank, the pump, the hose, and nozzle) > _the first gallon you paid $4.29 (and 9/10ths) is_ **SHIT GAS!** Since the majority of cars use 87, it’s less a law than a certainty, no? Also $4.29!? Are you a time traveller? If your location is still accurate, you should be paying $2.75 minimum, and you don’t even have to get out of the car there! ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2017, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/208 "2017-05-16T04:55:51Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Since the majority of cars use 87, it’s less a law than a certainty, no? I donno, here where I live most have a separate nozzle for each type of gas. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2017, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/209 "2017-05-16T13:33:43Z")
If all your friends tell you that your new love interest is a jerk, s/he is a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2017, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/210 "2017-05-16T15:04:11Z")
> [@Enola\_Straight](#): > > Enola’s Premium Refueling Law-if your car’s engine has 11/1 compression ratio or has intercooled turbos…thus requiring at least 93 octane…whoever has the pump before you gassed up with cheap 87. > > The guy before you put 5 bucks in his Honda Civic, now you are shelling out $40 and > (tracing the route of fuel flow from underground tank, the pump, the hose, and nozzle) > _the first gallon you paid $4.29 (and 9/10ths) is_ **SHIT GAS!** Even if there’s only one nozzle, the connection where the [del]three[/del] two grades (low, high, or both mixed 50/50) join it is pretty close to where the hose leaves the dispenser. So you’re probably buying at most a quart of whatever the previous person bought. If he/she bought mid-grade, you’re buying at most a pint of the low grade and a pint of the good stuff. IOW, relax. Or buy your gas at a place where most of the cars are fancier. When 8 of 10 cars are the “right” kind you’re buying only a teaspoon of the cheap stuff per month on average. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2017, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/211 "2017-05-16T20:44:07Z")
If you’re gonna kibitz, you gotta help. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2017, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/212 "2017-05-17T00:08:27Z")
The law of spectacle-emollient entanglement: If there is an open container of moisturizer or lotion anywhere in the room, some of the content will, somehow, end up on my glasses. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2017, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/213 "2017-05-17T00:20:16Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > The law of spectacle-emollient entanglement: If there is an open container of moisturizer or lotion anywhere in the room, some of the content will, somehow, end up on my glasses. The corollary of fingers: No matter how clean my glasses were five minutes ago, there is a big fingerprint on them now. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2017, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/214 "2017-05-22T03:30:18Z")
Back in my summer-camp-staff days, I came up with: Any important piece of equipment will, by next summer, be just neglected enough not to work, but not so bad as to be thrown out and replaced. > [@Colibri](#): > > **Colibri’s First Law of Travel:** > Never pass up a chance to piss. If you do, you will regret it. King George V supposedly once said you should never pass up an opportunity to use the bathroom, have a drink, or sit down. > [@cher3](#): > > You will generally be required to stop at most traffic lights on your route. The exception is if you need time to open a water bottle or take a quick peek at a text. Then all lights will be green. Preach it! > [@Shoeless](#): > > I have a similar one: the number of red lights you hit is inversely proportional to how much of a hurry you are in. > > (If I’m running late, it seems I hit every red light. When I give myself plenty of time, then all the lights are green and I get there 15 minutes early.) Also true. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233.md?page=10)