# What 'laws' have you come up with? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 25, 2017, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233 "2017-04-25T18:18:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/21 "2017-04-25T19:35:40Z")
When passing someone on the road (crossing the ‘yellow line’), that person after being passed will be seen as turning onto a side road or parking lot, making the pass seem unneeded. Also pickup truck drivers are slower than Prius drivers. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/22 "2017-04-25T19:42:40Z")
Jtur88’s law of work planning 1. Determine if the work really needs to be done. 2. See if there a workaholic around willing to do it. 3. Carefully plan the most efficient path to good enough. 4. Don’t let anybody else hinder. 5. Get it over with. 6. Resume rest ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/23 "2017-04-25T19:42:57Z")
Charlie’s cynicisms. [ul] [li]There are no good people. Everyone is evil, but some are on my side.[/li][li]We’re always alone. Sometimes, though, there are other people around.[/li][li]After you’re dead, everyone will eventually move on and your life signified nothing.[/li][li]You are not the main character in the story of your life. Someone you know made a larger impact.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/24 "2017-04-25T19:44:47Z")
You will generally be required to stop at most traffic lights on your route. The exception is if you need time to open a water bottle or take a quick peek at a text. Then all lights will be green. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/25 "2017-04-25T19:51:04Z")
Maggie’s law: Never trust a guy who says he loves you before he’s slept with you. He’s either lying to you, or to himself. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/26 "2017-04-25T19:55:23Z")
There is no “Can’t Know”-There are only “Don’t Know…Yet”. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/27 "2017-04-25T20:00:02Z")
> [@cher3](#): > > You will generally be required to stop at most traffic lights on your route. The exception is if you need time to open a water bottle or take a quick peek at a text. Then all lights will be green. I have a similar one: the number of red lights you hit is inversely proportional to how much of a hurry you are in. (If I’m running late, it seems I hit every red light. When I give myself plenty of time, then all the lights are green and I get there 15 minutes early.) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/28 "2017-04-25T20:05:19Z")
If you rip a nasty fart when you’re alone, someone will appear within moments and get right next to you. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/29 "2017-04-25T20:12:48Z")
I have developed two laws in my lifetime. The August West Law of Consistent Mediocrity: If you want to make a billion dollars, make a product that is consistently mediocre. I developed this law when I was eating dinner at a Pizza Hut, but it also applies to Bud Light and many other products. The August West Law of Nocturnal Immensity: When camping in a tent, any animal heard near the tent will sound at least 2x larger than it actually is. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/30 "2017-04-25T20:13:38Z")
While it’s not coming up with a new law, Murphy’s Law is one of the best ways for a layman to handle legal questions - just assume that every loophole and and interpretation will go the opposite of the way you want, and you’ll be OK. So the practical answer to a question like “are oral contracts binding in court?” is “Yes if it’s bad for you, no if it helps you.” ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/31 "2017-04-25T20:18:58Z")
The harder you try to idiot-proof something, the faster some idiot will screw it up. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/32 "2017-04-25T20:23:12Z")
Bob’s Laws Of Working Within a Bureaucracy [ul] [li]Just because you see a problem doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to come up with a solution[/li][li]Just because you can come up with a solution doesn’t mean that you can write a program to solve it.[/li][li]Just because you can write a program doesn’t mean it will run.[/li][li]Just because your program will run doesn’t mean the underlying data is good.[/li][li]Just because the data is good doesn’t mean the results are valid.[/li][li]Just because the results are valid doesn’t mean you can make management understand them.[/li][li]Just because management understands your report doesn’t mean they will implement your solution.[/li][li]Just because management implements your solution doesn’t mean it will work.[/li][li]Just because your solution worked doesn’t mean you’ll get any recognition for it.[/li][li]Just because you get recognized for your work doesn’t mean you’ll ever get promoted.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/33 "2017-04-25T20:25:12Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > The harder you try to idiot-proof something, the faster some idiot will screw it up. Corollary: If you perfect your “idiot-proofing”, the perfect idiot will arrive to bypass it. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/34 "2017-04-25T20:26:19Z")
More of a rule than a law, it’s the Core Competency Rule. I developed this obvious-as-shit rule after going to my favorite pizzeria and thinking, “hmm, I’m more in the mood for fish and chips tonight,” and ordering fish and chips, and they sucked. The rule is this: when a restaurant has a core competency, order that. Don’t go to a Chinese buffet and get their mac and cheese. Don’t go to a seafood restaurant and order the steak. And ferchrissake, when you go to a pizzeria, get a fuckin pizza. ---
**Author:** ![mikecurtis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikecurtis/32/3284_2.png) [@mikecurtis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikecurtis)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/35 "2017-04-25T20:27:34Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Never trust adult men that don’t drink beer. hey! i can be trusted. . . mostly. . . mc ---
**Author:** ![mikecurtis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikecurtis/32/3284_2.png) [@mikecurtis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikecurtis)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/36 "2017-04-25T20:30:10Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > The Parking Lot Corollary: If you park in an empty lot, and make a quick stop in a store, when you leave you will find some moron has parked right next to you even though the lot is empty. yea! what the hell is that all about? mc ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/37 "2017-04-25T20:34:44Z")
Worrying about things rarely prevents them from happening. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/38 "2017-04-25T20:39:04Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Worrying about things rarely prevents them from happening. The exception to your law, which I’m all too familiar with: will I get a good night’s sleep? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/39 "2017-04-25T20:58:58Z")
If there’s one person who shouldn’t hear what you are saying, that person is standing right behind you. If you ask for book recommendations, no matter how specific you are that you are interested only in non-fiction dealing with Mayan funerary customs, someone will recommend Terry Pratchett. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/40 "2017-04-25T21:03:12Z")
**The Law of Relatives** : They come on the weekend, and eat you out of house and home. **The Unspeakable Rule** : If it’s good, and you mention it, it goes away. If it’s bad, and you mention it, it happens. **50/50/90 Rule** : If you have a 50-50 chance of being right, 90% of the time you will be wrong. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233.md?page=3)