# What 'laws' have you come up with? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 25, 2017, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233 "2017-04-25T18:18:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/81 "2017-04-26T11:48:54Z")
I long ago observed that Famous Laws come in groups of three – The Three Laws od Thermodynamics, Kepler’s three laws, Newton’s three laws of motion, Asimov’s Three Laws od robotics, Arthur C. Clarke’s three laws. I therefore decided that **All Great Sets of Laws Come in Groups of Three**. I call this **CalMeacham’s Third Law** I haven’t come up with the first two yet. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/82 "2017-04-26T11:51:23Z")
**BrotherCadfaels’ Law:** One Size Fits All… doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/83 "2017-04-26T12:10:19Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I long ago observed that Famous Laws come in groups of three – The Three Laws od Thermodynamics, Kepler’s three laws, Newton’s three laws of motion, Asimov’s Three Laws od robotics, Arthur C. Clarke’s three laws. > > I therefore decided that **All Great Sets of Laws Come in Groups of Three**. I call this **CalMeacham’s Third Law** > I haven’t come up with the first two yet. If I may suggest: **CalMeacham’s First Law** : Any law about sets of laws will inevitably have an exception. There is no **CalMeacham’s Second Law**. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/84 "2017-04-26T12:23:46Z")
\*\*Chronos’ Observation on the Exclusivity of Humor: The smaller the set of people who would get a joke, the funnier the joke will be to the people in that set.\*\* Thus, for instance, if you tell a joke that depends on knowledge of the process of time evolution in quantum mechanical systems, the vast majority of people will look at you blankly… but the physics department at the local university will all double over with laughter (and then immediately start nitpicking it). And of course, inside jokes, which will only be understood by two or three people on the planet because “you had to be there”, are the funniest of all. ---
**Author:** ![ASGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@ASGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/85 "2017-04-26T12:57:45Z")
(1) The Ben Herman 200 Hearing Limit: “If you hear a tune 200 times you never want to hear it again.” (2) Rayburn’s Law of Invisibility: “At night, everything outside your window is functionally invisible. During the day the reverse is true.” (3) The Chinese Remainder Theorum: “After World War N, where N \> 2, the number of surviving Chinese will be non-zero.” (4) My personal fave has no name, but I see **Shodan** has a variant: “If you don’t paint it the first time, you never paint it the second time.” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/86 "2017-04-26T13:22:49Z")
Having worked for a number of volunteer organizations of one form or another over the years, I have developed the Rule of the Dozen: In a volunteer organization of about [ul] [li]a dozen people, about a dozen will be doing most of the work.[/li][li]twenty people, about a dozen will be doing most of the work.[/li][li]fifty people, about a dozen will be doing most of the work.[/li][li]a hundred people, about a dozen will be doing most of the work.[/li][li]. . .[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiendish_astronaut/32/3295_2.png) [@Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiendish_Astronaut)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/87 "2017-04-26T13:26:57Z")
I have lots of laws I could list here, but I’ll stick with just the three: The smaller the selection on a restaurant menu the better the food. Companies that use whistling-based songs in their advertising are not to be trusted. Never list more than three examples in an internet discussion. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/88 "2017-04-26T14:06:43Z")
> [@ASGuy](#): > > (1) The Ben Herman 200 Hearing Limit: “If you hear a tune 200 times you never want to hear it again.” I tended bar for ~3 years and can confirm that I never want to hear “Margaritaville” ever again. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/89 "2017-04-26T14:22:33Z")
When you know you’re going to have a particularly loud bowel movement at work, someone will come in 15 seconds after you and take the stall right beside you. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/90 "2017-04-26T14:24:58Z")
Nothing ever repairs itself. In offices, every network drop and electrical outlet will be blocked by a large piece of furniture. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/91 "2017-04-26T14:29:11Z")
If four socks(two matching pairs) go into the dryer, and two socks disappear, then the chance that the two that are left will match is zero. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/92 "2017-04-26T14:53:17Z")
The Law of Relative Service Need: The harder an item is for you to find in a store, the harder it will be to find someone who works in that store to help you find it. Similarly, the Rocket Surgery! Law of Restaurant Fluid Dynamics: As the amount of refillable drink in your glass at a restaurant approaches zero, so will the chance your waitstaff will ask about a refill. Corollary for spicy food: The hotter the meal, the slower the rate of refills. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/93 "2017-04-26T15:10:28Z")
Our household rule is that if you don’t like how someone does something–dishes, laundry, grocery shopping–do it yourself. (And shut up about it.)🙂 As for pizza, if the pizzeria doesn’t offer anchovies, the pizza itself will not be any good. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/94 "2017-04-26T16:08:26Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > **BrotherCadfaels’ Law:** One Size Fits All… doesn’t. **Robot Arm’s Corollary to BrotherCadfael’s Law:** Makes a Great Gift… doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/95 "2017-04-26T17:48:14Z")
**DrumBum’**'s theory of motion states that the ink pad used by the custom official will run dry when I present my passport. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/96 "2017-04-26T18:30:50Z")
Not me but my father. I call it Dad’s Law: “Never trust a man who says ‘trust me’.” ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/97 "2017-04-26T23:23:58Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Nothing ever repairs itself. > > In offices, every network drop and electrical outlet will be blocked by a large piece of furniture. Law of the first birthday: when you go to babyproof the house, you will go, room by room, sticking those little things in the plugs so the kid can’t electrocute himself. You pull out furniture, to be good parents, and plug every single unused outlet, even high ones out of his reach. You buy the good kind that can’t be removed without a screwdriver. You run out of plugs with one outlet left, out in the middle of everything, not blocked by anything, and right down by the baseboard. Rule of the diaper: never change a dry diaper, just because the kid has been in it for a while, or karma will see to it that you run out of diapers right when the kid has a major blow-out. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/98 "2017-04-26T23:27:13Z")
Law of sibling rivalry: Whatever one of your kids likes, the other (or another) will hate. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/99 "2017-04-26T23:33:19Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > The Parking Lot Corollary: If you park in an empty lot, and make a quick stop in a store, when you leave you will find some moron has parked right next to you even though the lot is empty. Probably because it’s the second closest spot. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/100 "2017-04-26T23:34:12Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Law of the first birthday: when you go to babyproof the house, you will go, room by room, sticking those little things in the plugs so the kid can’t electrocute himself. You pull out furniture, to be good parents, and plug every single unused outlet, even high ones out of his reach. You buy the good kind that can’t be removed without a screwdriver. You run out of plugs with one outlet left, out in the middle of everything, not blocked by anything, and right down by the baseboard. > > Rule of the diaper: never change a dry diaper, just because the kid has been in it for a while, or karma will see to it that you run out of diapers right when the kid has a major blow-out. Plant’s Rule of Children: Best $400 I ever spent. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233.md?page=6)