# What 'laws' have you come up with? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 25, 2017, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233 "2017-04-25T18:18:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/101 "2017-04-27T03:16:22Z")
No matter what your height, the streak in the windshield will always be exactly at eye level. ---
**Author:** ![GreenHell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@GreenHell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenHell)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/102 "2017-04-27T03:29:58Z")
Golden Rule of Strategy: Never, ever, under any circumstances, allow a situation to deteriorate into a fair fight. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/103 "2017-04-27T06:51:45Z")
Any typo is invisible until the email is sent. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/104 "2017-04-27T09:30:35Z")
(Added from another thread at the recommendation of **Dung Beetle** ): Any thread title or post that begins with words along the lines of, “Am I evil for finding this funny?” has only one answer: _Yes. Yes, you are evil. I, too, am evil. Let us work together to lower ourselves into hell, in the handbasket that has just appeared before us._ ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/105 "2017-04-27T12:12:27Z")
Everything I write has infinitely many errors: no matter how carefully I correct it, there is always at least one more. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/106 "2017-04-27T12:40:55Z")
If you never normally forget to add attachments to an email, the time when you do so will be the time when your email text does not contain the string “attach”, such that the software therefore does NOT remind you about attachments before letting you send the email. > [@Riemann](#): > > Whenever a group of people is gathered together, one person in that group does not know what time of day is Cowboy Time. I believe this is known as the 9/50 rule. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/107 "2017-04-27T12:55:01Z")
Cardigan’s Law: The shorter the line (grocery check out, bank, traffic light, etc) you choose to get in, the higher the probability some fool in front of you will cause an unforeseen delay. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/108 "2017-04-27T16:11:52Z")
> [@GreenHell](#): > > Golden Rule of Strategy: Never, ever, under any circumstances, allow a situation to deteriorate into a fair fight. Re-statement: If you’re in a fair fight, someone screwed up. **Law of Stability** : If you push it hard enough, it _WILL_ fall over. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/109 "2017-04-27T18:42:31Z")
> [@Cardigan](#): > > Cardigan’s Law: The shorter the line (grocery check out, bank, traffic light, etc) you choose to get in, the higher the probability some fool in front of you will cause an unforeseen delay. Cf: the [Peter Gibbons driving corollary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk2YRpLnmdU) ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/110 "2017-04-27T20:01:20Z")
The louder the car commercial, the cheaper the car (you never see anyone screaming about a DEAL during a Lexus ad.) My personal motto is Everything in Moderation. The trick is determining what is moderate. One snort of cocaine is too much. Two sips of water in a day is not enough. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/111 "2017-04-27T21:53:16Z")
Buying a replacement is a sure way to find a lost item. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/112 "2017-04-29T01:10:09Z")
The Law of Cafe Society Thread Deterioration: There are an enormous number of interesting possible CS threads which will gradually lose their distinctness and deteriorate into “hey, have you ever noticed that in movies and on TV, people always find a parking space, and when they go grocery shopping, there’s always a baguette poking out” The Law of Oppositional Conflation: When someone takes a position, and a majority of people disagree, and a small minority of those people really vehemently (loudly/abusively/illogically) ddisagree; the original position-holder will tend to conflate the two and react as if a majority of people are really vehemently disagreeing. ---
**Author:** ![mikecurtis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikecurtis/32/3284_2.png) [@mikecurtis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikecurtis)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/113 "2017-04-29T01:44:03Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > **Law of Stability** : If you push it hard enough, it _WILL_ fall over. and mom _will_ find out! mc ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/114 "2017-04-29T01:56:20Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > **Law of Stability** : If you push it hard enough, it _WILL_ fall over. Well known to the low animal cunning of house cats. ---
**Author:** ![igor\_frankensteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/839c29/32.png) [@igor\_frankensteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/igor_frankensteen)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/115 "2017-04-29T02:28:30Z")
> [@bibliophage](#): > > Not me but my father. I call it Dad’s Law: “Never trust a man who says ‘trust me’.” Modern update or corollary: the more stridently a “news” program insists that it is “fair and balanced,” or “factually accurate,” the more wildly biased it is. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/116 "2017-04-29T02:40:53Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > **Law of Stability** : If you push it hard enough, it _WILL_ fall over. It comes in, it must go out. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/117 "2017-04-29T04:02:06Z")
Objects gain mass once removed from their original box. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/118 "2017-04-29T04:32:47Z")
Astorian’s Besides Theorem (which comes with Astorian’s Anyway Corollary and Astorian’s Ty Cobb Was a Racist Law). 1. Astorian’s Besides Theorem holds that, when used in an argument, the word Besides means “Everything I just said was bullshit.” 2. The Anyway Corollary holds that more often than not, a “besides” statement will be followed by Ann “Anyway” statement that is incompatible with both the original statement and the Besides statement. 3. The Ty Cobb Law says that when the Anyway statement fails to convert the onlooker, the arguer will slander someone widely seen as a hero. Example: “There is no proof that Pete Rose bet on baseball. Besides, he only bet on the Reds to win. Anyway, what’s wrong with gambling? And hey, Ty Cobb was a racist, which is much worse than gambling.” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/119 "2017-04-29T04:43:46Z")
The Ten Percent Rule: No matter how extreme or insane the position, there’s almost always somewhere around 10% of the population that will support it. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233/120 "2017-04-29T10:01:26Z")
If anyone besides yourself cooked it, it’s gonna need salt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-laws-have-you-come-up-with/785233.md?page=7)