# What makes a friend? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 23, 2001, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954 "2001-11-23T22:37:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/1 "2001-11-23T22:37:28Z")
I think a loyal, caring non-selfcentered person makes a friend. To be a friend, a person can’t not talk to the person who is supposed to have them as a friend. A friend doesn’t laugh when you’re hurt, emotionally or physically. A friend should be there when someone needs them and stand up for the other whenever the other person is being hurt(physically or emotionally or verbally). A friend should not think the universe revovles around them and them alone. They should realize that everyone has feelings and a certain point to where they can be pushed before they break. I found that out the hard way. What makes a friend a friend? ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/2 "2001-11-24T01:39:10Z")
ozonebaby, you just about said it all. In addition, a friend does not get jealous. A friend does not stab you in the back or betray you. I guess that means loyalty. A friend also gives time and space when needed. Sensitivity. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/3 "2001-11-24T11:06:34Z")
When it seems the world has turned upside down, and those who had been wonderful to be with turn their backs upon your despair – your friend, your _friends_, are the ones who pick you up out of the gutter, they talk with you until your tears dry, they set you new challenges knowing that is just what your soul needs to grow again, to recover the blooms blown to shreds by the storm. They love you, each in their own special, personal way. And everything they did for you, you’d do in return, in a heartbeat. I’ve been in a world where it seemed I didn’t have a friend at all, and all was dark and pointless. Thankfully, not today. My friends, I don’t expect any of you will read this. But I thank you all. ---
**Author:** ![RenegadeLibrarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RenegadeLibrarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RenegadeLibrarian)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/4 "2001-11-24T15:27:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ice Wolf \* > \*\*When it seems the world has turned upside down, and those who had been wonderful to be with turn their backs upon your despair – your friend, your _friends_, are the ones who pick you up out of the gutter, they talk with you until your tears dry, they set you new challenges knowing that is just what your soul needs to grow again, to recover the blooms blown to shreds by the storm. > \*\* Hear, hear! I have recently had a (thankfully) short period where I was in dear need of friends, and was even a little surprised on who I could turn to and who I could not. I know at least one friend IRL on this board, and I want to thank her very much! ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/5 "2001-11-24T17:25:55Z")
Man, I wish someone cared about me that much. Unfortunately, I don’t get along with people very well and no one seems to be able to relate to me much. I think I have about one person who I love in my own personal way and they return that, thank god. Maybe I should lower my expectations. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/6 "2001-11-24T18:06:04Z")
I think they’re are a lot of levels of friendship, and if you have one or two close friends at any given time, count yourself among the lucky ones. I’ve found that until the shit hits the fan, it’s sometimes hard to tell in advance who are your true friends that will stick by you, and who are fair-weather friends or just casual friends. It’s easy to be friends with someone when things are going well. Friends don’t tell you they’re sorry, then continue the same behavior that caused the hurt to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/7 "2001-11-25T00:54:03Z")
Some people come into your life and fade quickly. . .Others come and leave footprints in your heart. Those are your friends. -The Gadget by Paul Zindel 2001 ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2001, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/8 "2001-11-25T00:58:58Z")
And others try to stomp on and crush your heart. Couldn’t resist! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Etaoin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Etaoin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Etaoin)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/9 "2001-11-25T02:22:39Z")
Just heard on Car Talk with Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers. A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a BODY. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/10 "2001-11-25T02:44:29Z")
If you want a friend, be a friend. ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2001, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/11 "2001-11-25T03:32:27Z")
But sometimes one can be a friend and it turns into a one-way street. The person being the friend gets used. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-friend/94954/12 "2001-11-25T04:24:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Violet \* > \*\*But sometimes one can be a friend and it turns into a one-way street. The person being the friend gets used. \*\* So what? If you wish to ever find a friend, it is incumbent upon you to be one first. If you do not, what hope should you have of ever finding one?