# What Makes a Man or Woman Sexy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 12, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661 "2003-12-12T20:31:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![shannablu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@shannablu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shannablu)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/1 "2003-12-12T20:31:47Z")
I am fairly new to the boards and this has probably been asked several times before, but I thought I would put it out there anyway. I was just wondering what other people thought was sexy in a person. A man’s physical apperance has never been a big issue for me, although I personally think my SO is a pretty good looking man. I think people put to much emphasis on the way a person looks when judging how sexy he/she is. A great looking person can still have an attitude that makes him/her unattractive and that a not so good looking person can have a great attitude, which makes him/her very attractive. I like to look inside for what I find sexy. I love a man who can treat all people the same and have a kind word and a smile for everyone. To me, men who have a great sense of humor and can laugh at themselves are wonderful. He also has to be a good listener, but also willing to talk openly. So, let me know what you find sexy. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/2 "2003-12-12T20:41:36Z")
fitness, confidence, humor, intelligence, communication skills And a nice ass never hurt ---
**Author:** ![shannablu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@shannablu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shannablu)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/3 "2003-12-12T21:17:15Z")
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the ass part 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/4 "2003-12-12T21:31:16Z")
A wicked sense of humor and the ability to laugh at the absurdities that is called life. ---
**Author:** ![SJSB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@SJSB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SJSB)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/5 "2003-12-12T21:49:44Z")
Well, I have always been friends first with all of the men I have dated in the past. It seems to be a good basis for a relationship. Anyway - in relation to the OP’s question, I always look for someone with wit and a good sense of fun. Admittedly, lust always comes before love, but if you are friends with somebody first, then lust doesn’t come into it before you realise that you have fallen head over feet. [brief hijack] I’ve currently just fallen in love for the first time ever and it’s bloody strange but kinda nice. [/end of brief hijack] ---
**Author:** ![bubba\_jr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@bubba\_jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubba_jr)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/6 "2003-12-13T03:30:41Z")
This may seem wierd, but a girl when their mouth is in a relaxed position, if you can just see the very bottoms of their two top middle teeth. I’ve told this to friends and when demonstrated in pictures they sort of understood. Other than that, mostly personality, the downside to this is I’ve found that pathological liars have the most wonderful personalities, until… you get to know them. They seem to conform to what you want/expect out of a person. If its the first time you’ve ever encountered it you can get sucked in, once you figure out what happened you can ruin a good post liar relationship by thinking it is too good. (personal expierience.) Truly sexy is honesty, down to earthedness (made up word), some sense of humor, openess, willing to sit down and have a completely wonderful argument over the dumbest politics for 4 hours and still completely want to be with you. Oh yeah, a willingness to wear black thigh highs at ALL times with short skirts definately ups the sexy factor. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/7 "2003-12-23T17:34:36Z")
Happiness, self-confidence, intelligence, some adventure, a great sense of humor and, sometimes best of all, a little black dress. (If you’re a man, the LBD is optional. For you to wear it, I mean; what isn’t optional is that I don’t want to see you in it. Unless it’s funny.) ---
**Author:** ![sweetfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@sweetfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweetfreak)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/8 "2003-12-23T17:41:33Z")
Lot’s of self-confidence and the ability to make-fun and laugh at yourself. Without that, no matter how physically appealing you are, you are unattractive to me. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/9 "2003-12-23T17:54:59Z")
Intelligence, a sense of humour that’s as evil and twisted as mine, willing to see and treat me as an equal, and confidence. Willingness to communicate with me, and not just in a sappy “I love you lots and lots and lots” kind of way, but in a more general way, will go a long way as well. A nice arse doesn’t hurt either. And no arrogance. Confidence yes, but arrogance will make you very unsexy to me very quickly. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/10 "2003-12-23T19:18:44Z")
An eagerness to hop into bed with you is a _major_ turn-on. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/11 "2003-12-23T19:36:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rjung \* > \*\*An eagerness to hop into bed with you is a _major_ turn-on. 😉 \*\* That’s very giving of you. I will admit, however, that, shoe on the other foot and all, a person’s intention of sleeping with you does nothing for me in the way of of a turn-on… But if you want to keep on being turned on by women eager to sleep with me, you go right ahead. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/12 "2003-12-23T20:31:35Z")
I need my girls to be a bit on the Tomboy side. None of this prissy, dainty crap. Ability to flirt. Ability to laugh at herself. And of course, a nice butt. ---
**Author:** ![cichlidiot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f9b8f/32.png) [@cichlidiot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cichlidiot)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/13 "2003-12-23T20:37:33Z")
Wearing shoes that are so ugly, they’re cool. Being cool without it being contrived, for example: While growing up, it was cool to say how you couldn’t wait to get out of your pisshole town, how much your school sucked, etc. Instead, maybe _really_ liking Neil Diamond and genuinely thinking everyone else agrees he’s the bee’s knees. Having the ability to be unguarded without showing shame or self-consciousness - licking the beaters after making frosting, jumping in that puddle instead of side-stepping it, giving an opinion knowing it may be unpopular if it’s honest (not necessarily hurtful or meanspirited). Knowledge and the willingness/patience to teach. Especially if the topic can be made interesting, when it is something I would normally not be interested in. I’m almost always interested in learning something new, and people in my life who have taught me something worthwhile are ones I can say have always left a definite impression. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/14 "2003-12-23T20:45:05Z")
To me, there is a difference between attractive and sexy. Attractive encompasses all those nice things like personality, sense of humor, intelligence, and the like. Sexy, on the other hand, is the superficial stuff. Personally, a great voice really knocks me out. And there’s a certain way a guy can tilt his head that just sends me. And a nice ass. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/15 "2003-12-23T22:02:59Z")
Eyes. Intelligent, deep, responsive eyes. Quick wit, wry, slightly sarcastic sense of humor. Self-confidence. Good taste in music. Love of animals, preferably kitties. Perky nipples ⭕o ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/16 "2003-12-23T22:10:11Z")
Guys with slightly sarcastic (but not outright mean) senses of humor & love of literature & history absolutely slay me. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/17 "2003-12-24T00:02:50Z")
Cosmopolitan and I have the same taste in men. Although sexy is something different. I love my husband dearly (for his sarcastic sense of humor as well as other traits), and find him very sexy…but I never had the “oh, my, can I have some of _that_” reaction to him. That is brought on by something in the eyes, a nice body (arms and shoulders, as well as the butt everyone keeps going on and on about), something in the lines of the face… ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/18 "2003-12-24T00:16:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > To me, there is a difference between attractive and sexy. Attractive encompasses all those nice things like personality, sense of humor, intelligence, and the like. Sexy, on the other hand, is the superficial stuff. I agree. There’s a difference (at least for us chaps) between being in love and instantly fancying someone. Salma Hayek is the personification of sexy (especially in From Dusk till Dawn). Woof, woof! ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/19 "2003-12-24T00:32:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cosmopolitan \* > Guys with slightly sarcastic (but not outright mean) senses of humor & love of literature & history absolutely slay me. While reading C.S. Forester’s novels about Horatio Hornblower sailing in the English Navy during the Napoleonic Wars, I thought what could have happened if Napoleon had come home early and discovered a man in Josephine’s bedroom. The man fortunately escapes Napoleon’s clutches, leaving only his General’s epaulette behind. “Oh, Nappy\*!” cries our naughty wife. “What will you do now?” “Nozzink\*\*” replies Napoleon. “Give me a lucky General everytime!” \*not many people know this was her nickname for him \*\*you can just hear ze french accent, can you not? ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661/20 "2003-12-24T00:41:37Z")
It’s funny…there has been more than one instance where I’ve known a reasonably physically attractive man (either a classmate or a co-worker) for a while, but didn’t come to think of him as sexy until he said something (or a lot of somethings) that I considered to be very insightful or clever or witty. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-a-man-or-woman-sexy/218661.md?page=2)