# What makes someone a slut? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 25, 2005, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986 "2005-04-25T06:52:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/41 "2005-04-26T04:10:09Z")
I may have to look into reading a copy of that book, **matt\_mcl.** I always thought it was more a poly resource. It might help me out, though. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/42 "2005-04-26T04:49:08Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Being a barbarian nasmed “Grignr”. **CalMeacham** wins. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/43 "2005-04-26T05:15:52Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > I may have to look into reading a copy of that book, **matt\_mcl.** I always thought it was more a poly resource. It might help me out, though. It does contain a great deal about polyamory, but the main thrust of the book is applicable to everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/44 "2005-04-26T05:24:30Z")
I’ll have to check out that book too. ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/45 "2005-04-26T05:26:37Z")
> [@moi](#): > > The Slut Conclave[sup]TM[/sup] has met and decided that sluts love you back, **Yonkeroo**. 😃 There’s a concave of sluts? That’s one party I need to crash. I need me some slut lovin’. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/46 "2005-04-26T05:36:15Z")
Count me among those who hate the sexual double-standard that the word "slut generally typifies. As someone has already said, use of the word “slut” usually tells you a lot more about the person using it than the person about whom it is being used. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/47 "2005-04-26T05:38:43Z")
_I do_. Sorry, but it’s true. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/48 "2005-04-26T05:43:17Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I’ll have to check out that book too. I can just picture the look on the face of the librarian. Heh heh heh. In all seriousness, my favorite poly folk have this book and keep trying to sneak it in on me in the stacks of Jane Austen novels I borrow from them. ---
**Author:** ![Cherry8943](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Cherry8943](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry8943)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/49 "2005-04-26T05:49:49Z")
Hey! The Slut Test is gone form [TheSpark.com](http://TheSpark.com). Damn. I was going to link it here. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/50 "2005-04-26T06:06:07Z")
Sun, why don’t you trot down to Glad Day? I’m sure they have a copy, and you’ll be supporting your local gay and lesbian bookstore. I’m in there all the time when I’m in the big smoke. ---
**Author:** ![Ink\_a\_dink\_a\_dink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ec9cab/32.png) [@Ink\_a\_dink\_a\_dink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ink_a_dink_a_dink)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/51 "2005-04-26T07:14:54Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > "So we are proud to reclaim the word “slut” as a term of approval, even endearment. To us, a slut is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that \*sex is nice and pleasure is good for you. \* … > > “A slut shares his sexuality the way a philanthropist shares her money — because they have a lot to share, because it makes them happy to share it, because sharing makes the world a better place.” > > - Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt, _The Ethical Slut_ Aaaah. I’ll tell Dossie her book is being put to good use!! Inky ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/52 "2005-04-26T07:22:43Z")
You know her? OMG MAY I TOUCH THE HEM OF YOUR GARMENT ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/53 "2005-04-27T11:51:08Z")
Just a wee messgae for the anon lot. I was sent an anon email that directed me to that lovely wee place. Yes, by all current definitions I am a slut. A slut being someone who bonks for fun and does not save the bonking for a loving-lifelong partner. No I do not “act like a nun” in front of my child. I act like a responsible, loving mother. My maternal abilties have nothing to do with my irregular sex life. Being a mother is my First Priority. Two or three times a year I like being a “slut”…an ugly one to boot. Luckily for me I have no religous guilt to stop me enjoying those times. I understand that some find that abhorent, it would just be better to read that here then somewhere anonymous. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/54 "2005-04-27T13:32:21Z")
Are you saying you got some kind of nastygram as a result of this thread? ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/55 "2005-04-27T14:10:59Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Just a wee messgae for the anon lot. I was sent an anon email that directed me to that lovely wee place. > > Yes, by all current definitions I am a slut. A slut being someone who bonks for fun and does not save the bonking for a loving-lifelong partner. > > No I do not “act like a nun” in front of my child. I act like a responsible, loving mother. > > My maternal abilties have nothing to do with my irregular sex life. > > Being a mother is my First Priority. > > Two or three times a year I like being a “slut”…an ugly one to boot. > > Luckily for me I have no religous guilt to stop me enjoying those times. > > I understand that some find that abhorent, it would just be better to read that here then somewhere anonymous. To hell with people who have issues with it **CalmKiwi**. Their problem not yours ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/56 "2005-04-27T14:48:59Z")
I would say, Fuck Mr. or Ms. Anonymous, but isn’t that what they’re upset about in the first place, fucking of anonymous people? Okay, that one was a stretch. How about, I’d rather share a pussy than be one. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/57 "2005-04-27T18:21:26Z")
> [@Dung Beetle](#): > > I would say, Fuck Mr. or Ms. Anonymous, but isn’t that what they’re upset about in the first place, fucking of anonymous people? Okay, that one was a stretch. How about, I’d rather share a pussy than be one. Maybe they’re not getting any and it made them cranky? Dunno. After all, I’m the one who started such a stupid thread in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986/58 "2005-04-27T20:19:31Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I have to disagree. While it is subjective, someone simply thinking you a slut (or man-ho) does not make it so. I would say that where girls are concerned, a “slut” is someone who’s only way of deriving self-worth is through sleeping around. For example, a girl who dates a lot and thusly sleeps with a lot of guys is not a slut. A girl who sleeps with half the guys in a fraternity just so they will like having her hang out would be a slut. I was thinking along the same lines. While I have never in my life called anyone a slut (nor would I) except as a joke among friends, I tend to think of the term along the lines of _why_ someone is having a lot of sex rather than the simple fact that they _are_ having a lot of sex. It’s the line between healthy sex and unhealthy sex (emotionally healthy, that is). I’ve had a lot of sex. I enjoy one-night-stands from time to time. Casual sex is groovy, relationship sex is groovier. My sexuality is a big part of who I am. _But_, I don’t use sex as a way to validate myself, or get attention or affection, etc. My “line” may seem just as unfair as one that’s associated with sheer numbers, but when forced to think of what comes to mind when I hear the word “slut,” this is it. > [@calm kiwi](#): > > And when does the club convene to decide if she just likes it or she wants them to like her? > [@moi](#): > > But how do you know these girls’ motivations, **msmith**? Oh, come on … you guys have never known someone like that? With such women, their motiviations usually become screamingly obvious once you spend a little time with them. I’ve known many, and they’ve all been in denial about their issues (claiming that they just really like sex, which obviously has to be part of the reason for their behaviour but is never the base of it). The ones who have self-esteem as their motivation but _aren’t_ obvious about it don’t earn the label. 😉 > [@calm kiwi](#): > > Just a wee messgae for the anon lot. I’m so pissed off that anyone would give you crap for what you’ve said in this thread! And, of course, anonymous cowards piss me off even more… :mad: Like everyone else is saying: fuck 'em. But not literally, of couse, because that would make you a slut. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-someone-a-slut/300986.md?page=2)