# What makes "the creepy guy"... creepy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 10, 2005, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344 "2005-11-10T04:25:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/21 "2005-11-10T16:26:05Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > I admit I probably do this, but I honestly have no idea what else to do with my eyes. If I look away at something else, then doesn’t that look shifty or bored? Yeah, I probably wasn’t properly socialized as a child, but I’m pretty good at faking it and fitting in, and I managed to snag a wife out of the deal. Oh, I don’t think anyone considers me a creep, at least not in my circle of colleagues. It’s a fine line between “gazes too long” and “Uncle Creepy”. If you snagged a wife, you’re probably on the good side of that line. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/22 "2005-11-10T16:48:27Z")
I am a creepy guy. It was explained to me, at length, that I creep people out because: 1. I display little to no facial expression (“It’s like you’re wearing a mask.”) 2. My speaking voice has little inflection and odd rhythm (“You sound like Agent Smith.”) 3. I don’t react in expected ways (“Don’t you ever get angry or afraid or silly?”) I have a rich internal emotional life, but others perceive me as “impossible to read” and that creeps them out. ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/23 "2005-11-10T17:07:26Z")
There’s a guy at my gym who creeps me out, and as others have mentioned, it’s not physical size. He’s probably a good 3-4 inches shorter than I am (although he’s really into weightlifting so I’m guessing he’s still got the physical advantage). But there’s something just kind of off. His social skills seem lacking (although it’s a gym and I don’t usually talk to anyone either so that’s a little hard to determine), and he does seem to look at me a little too long. Just freaks me out. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/24 "2005-11-10T18:02:50Z")
The office I work at has a creepy guy as well and I too find it very hard to pin down why exactly. In this guys case I seem to get sense of resentment or a feeling that he would be very easily offended by a joking remark. While we are at it. How do you deal with creepy guys, especially when you can’t pin down what it is with them and they aren’t doing anything wrong? Because on the one hand I don’t want to be prejudiced or be cold with people when they are not doing anything wrong and it may very well be my own perception that’s the problem. They fact that some people in this thread feel they are infairly perceived as creepy supports the theory that some people are socially awkward or just plain different. On the other hand, I do believe in instincts and that you’re often right to go with them especially in cases of “warning lights”. I guess “creepy guy” is not exactly asking me to come into a darkened alley with him so it is not much of a dilemma. I usually end up just being friendly and professional and that is all that is required. But I actually find the discussion really interesting and wonder what people feel they would do or have done when they had to interact more closely with their “creepy guys”. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/25 "2005-11-10T18:50:32Z")
Cordial, but distant. That’s the key. Be nice, but don’t open any doors. If you’re getting the creepy vibe, you need to trust your gut. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/26 "2005-11-10T22:18:37Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > He’s never said or done anything to me that is in fact creepy. I’ve never actually heard him speak, honestly or interacted with him in any way. He doesn’t look intimidating - after all he’s not the guy with fist tatooes or in goth gear (and neither of these guys strike me as creepy ftr) - he’s barely taller than me, and has boring non-descript looks. > > But he’s creepy. The only thing I can put my finger on is the fact that he silently wanders around. Is that typically creepy? Sounds a lot like me, actually. However, I’ve never been accused of being creepy(unfortunatly, that means little because people rarely talk to me and I almost never start conversations with people I don’t know). ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/27 "2005-11-10T22:40:23Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > -Occassional comments that imply dark thoughts > -Violating personal space (and not being visibly from another culture) - being a close-talker > -Lack of emotion > -Consistant emotional state regardless of circumstances (like smiling all the time for no reason) > -Tendency to fixate on certain topics > -Tendency to look you in the eye too long (people who don’t look you in the eye just seem awkward or shy). > -Excessive interest in hunting, martial arts or weaponry > -Overly quiet and detatched > -Lack of a sense of humor or inappropriate sense of humor If you can answer “yes” to five or more of these categories, you may be a sufferer from Undiagnosed Ninja Syndrome. If you suspect that you or a member of your family may be an Undiagnosed Ninja, contact us at **Ninjas Anonymous**. Remember, if you want to ninj, it’s your business: if you want to quit, it’s ours. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/28 "2005-11-10T23:55:13Z")
If you think he’s creepy, but you can’t specify why exactly, it’s probably because, deep down, you know that he’s nursing a serious crush on you…and that, just maybe, you feel the same. Go for it! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/29 "2005-11-11T00:56:25Z")
There was a guy in grad school who just always somehow raised my hackles like that. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but he was just _creepy_. It’s not like he wasn’t friendly or anything, or even _too_ friendly - well, he was, but only because I didn’t want to interact with him! That level of friendliness in somebody else would have been fine, though. One day he brought a package of cookies to class and passed them around, asking if anybody wanted any. Everything in my reptile brain screamed **don’t eat the cookies!** It’s totally silly - I mean, how stupid is that? Innocent storebought cookies. Like they’re going to be poisoned or something? But I would no more have eaten those cookies than I’d have cut off my own thumb. And he just _stood_ there trying to bug me into eating a cookie, and I just _wouldn’t_. In the bathroom during the break after that is when I found out that I was by far not the only one to think he was kinda creepy. Somebody said that if she opened the paper tomorrow and found his picture under a story about digging up a hundred dead little kids from his basement she wouldn’t be in the least surprised. Just something about him. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/30 "2005-11-11T02:14:03Z")
I was just reading a book by John Douglas (the FBI’s original profiler), and the funny thing about all this is that real predators spend a lot of time learning how to circumvent our alarm system. They put a good deal of effort into _non_ being creepy. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/31 "2005-11-11T02:18:51Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > If you think he’s creepy, but you can’t specify why exactly, it’s probably because, deep down, you know that he’s nursing a serious crush on you…and that, just maybe, you feel the same. Go for it! Who are you, Adam Carolla’s persona on Loveline? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/32 "2005-11-11T03:32:18Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Cordial, but distant. That’s the key. Be nice, but don’t open any doors. If you’re getting the creepy vibe, you need to trust your gut. Bullshit. This, “I came with a vagina that doubles as a personality tester and I can know everything about everyone because I’m a woman and women have this _sense_ but I cannot even figure out that the guy I’m fucking and never calls or hangs out with me except at 1 AM in the morning doesn’t really like me,” crap has failed in my observation many times before, and I cannot imagine why you wouldn’t feel that its appropriate to open a door for your coworker. How about this: instead of having a little circle-jerk with your coworkers about that creepy guy, why don’t you say hello occassionally? If you ever end up dead in someone’s basement, send me an e-mail and I’ll apologize for this advice publicly. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/33 "2005-11-11T04:02:02Z")
I’d say be nice to the guy, at least as much as is appropriate. If he’s shy, then you’ve done the right thing. If he ever goes on a killing spree one day with a gun, maybe he’ll come to you, remember that you were the one person who was nice to him and decide not to kill you, saving another bullet for the pointy haired boss. ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/34 "2005-11-11T04:50:46Z")
Just remember, if you don’t think there’s a creepy person where you work, you’re the one! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/35 "2005-11-11T05:06:09Z")
I don’t think it ever occurred to me that _I_ might be considered creepy, because I also mostly march to my own drummer. I’ll have to ask my husband about that. Apparently, it creeps people out if you look them in the eye, except look right _above_ their eyes. It’s not “off” enough for people to put their finger on why it bugs them, but enough to put them off balance. Maybe that’s what these off-putting people are doing. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/36 "2005-11-11T07:25:43Z")
Oh, I just remembered. A lot of people thought I was creepy over the internet when I was about 13. I think it was because the way I wrote (spelling, sentence structure and all that) suggested an adult behind the keyboard but the things I talked about did not. So they probably thought I was an emotionally stunted 20-year-old pretending to be 13. I’m pretty sure this could apply to real life as well. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/37 "2005-11-11T07:42:00Z")
**featherlou** , I would argue that it is a lot harder to be “the creepy chick” than “the creepy guy.” It is _really_ easy to be the creepy guy. [ul] [li]Weird Staring: I am a total “people person”- outgoing and all that jazz. I always look a person in the eye when I’m speaking to them, so this isn’t because I am weird about people looking at me. Yet, as someone said, there is a mile between looking someone in the eye and doing that strange, stare thing. I guess it was just what is, er, behind the eyes?[/li][li]Touching: I love my personal space and I dislike it being invaded by the creepy guy (or any person when I don’t specifically say I want to be touched). Creepy guys tend to walk up and put their hand on your arm (with the creepy stare), touch your thigh, etc. That’s creepy.[/li][li]Nervous Habits: I know I sound like an evil, judgemental bitch, but this is def. one thing that stands out to me. People who are constantly doing something with their hands- wringing them, playing with their clothes, playing with their face, etc.- can come off as a little creepy too. [/li][/ul] That’s all I can think of off of the top of my head. I wouldn’t say that I classify the quiet, shy, “outcast” people as creepy- that usually isn’t the case at all. There are just certain people who do the above things, but also just give off that, 'I’m gunna tie you up, throw you in my trunk, and make it put the lotion on the skin" vibe. :eek: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Pensandfeathers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Pensandfeathers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pensandfeathers)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/38 "2005-11-11T08:06:37Z")
I have a friend who I use to find a little creepy. He’s a very nice guy and rather talkative - but its the eye contact. When he looks at you its for a very long time and its intense, and he’s usually smiling. I pointed this out at one point and it wasn’t the first time he’s been told he’s a little odd, but he seemed more amused than concerned. It doesn’t bother me anymore and since I’m smitten and think he’s rather spectacular, I kind of like it. He’s very strange, but that aspect of his personality is attractive to me. I honestly couldn’t tell you why. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/39 "2005-11-11T10:11:28Z")
> [@threemae](#): > > Bullshit. This, “I came with a vagina that doubles as a personality tester and I can know everything about everyone because I’m a woman and women have this _sense_ but I cannot even figure out that the guy I’m fucking and never calls or hangs out with me except at 1 AM in the morning doesn’t really like me,” crap has failed in my observation many times before, and I cannot imagine why you wouldn’t feel that its appropriate to open a door for your coworker. > > How about this: instead of having a little circle-jerk with your coworkers about that creepy guy, why don’t you say hello occassionally? If you ever end up dead in someone’s basement, send me an e-mail and I’ll apologize for this advice publicly. :rolleyes: Nice goin’, Creepster. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344/40 "2005-11-11T12:36:17Z")
Does he do anything weird or eccentric? Does he have anything at all about his appearance that is somewhat different or weird? That is usually the definition of creepy, being destructively weird, so maybe its just something too subliminal to notice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-the-creepy-guy-creepy/330344.md?page=3)