# What makes you envious of others? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 23, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513 "2003-04-23T03:42:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/21 "2003-04-23T15:12:01Z")
I envy anyone who has something they’re passionate about, especially if they have the drive and perseverance to make a career out of it in some fashion. Someone who knows what he/she wants and goes for it. I envy anyone who can easily start a conversation with a stranger, more so if they’re talking and laughing together like best friends within five minutes. _Particularly_ if said stranger is an attractive woman. I envy anyone with lots of friends, who can always call someone if there’s something on his/her mind, who never has to do anything alone if he/she doesn’t want to. ---
**Author:** ![Daftbugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Daftbugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daftbugger)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/22 "2003-04-23T15:33:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neidhart \* > \*\* > I envy anyone who can easily start a conversation with a stranger, more so if they’re talking and laughing together like best friends within five minutes. _Particularly_ if said stranger is an attractive woman. > > \*\* Actually, that’s fairly easy. Pick a topic that you obviously have in common, ‘isn’t the weather lousy’ or ‘isn’t this conference boring?’ Although attractive women probably have been hit on by so many dodgy men, they probably will brush you off. Sorry for the hijack. Dafty ---
**Author:** ![flybynight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@flybynight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flybynight)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/23 "2003-04-23T16:46:30Z")
I’m envious of people with faster cars (but then I remember how much they had to pay for them, and that goes away) I’m envious of people who make more money (but then I realize I’d never want to do what they do - in most cases. Not all though. Sometimes I really do just envy them). I envy tall people, just because I feel small next to them. But then I realize how many people are shorter than me, and probably feel small next to me, and that I really don’t want to be tall anyway. I’m envoius of the dumb ugly guy (not that I judge people harshly IRL or anythign, I swear!) that gets the seemingly nice and cute girl (but then I figure if the girl is with him, I wouldn’t want her anyway. right? Or does she need to be rescued form him? doh. Maybe I’ll just go home instead… yeah, that’s easier.) I envy people who are satisfied, or as **Davebear** put it, “have a great relationship and a life they are happy with.” I hate that. I really do. I’ve had the various pieces of “the good life” at one time or another, but it’s never all come together all at the same time for me. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another, etc. Although then I realize that the people I envy undoubtedly have their problems, and are envious of someone else who they see as not having the same problems, and I’m just projecting what I feel I’m missing out on onto them, regardless of the reality. The grass is always greener or something. Hell, maybe someone envies me, for all I know, thinking I live a great life! Most of all, however, I envy people who are passionate about something, and pursue it, consequences be damned. Be it starting a new career doing something you really love (art, writing, sports, your own business, etc) instead of something “safe,” going off and climbing in the Himilayas, quiting your job and moving to that place you always wanted, not knowing what the future has in store - whatever. I really do envy those kinds of people, because I desperately want to be one of them. I hate feeling trapped in my life, and when I’m around people who are comfortable taking advantage of everything “freedom” has to offer, well… grr. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/24 "2003-04-23T17:01:26Z")
Money? Nah. Having a whole lot of it is often as much trouble as having too little. Looks? Nah. I’ve always been a narcissist, so whether or not it’s true, I pretty much think I’m a hot tamale. Brains? See comment regarding money. Popularity? Hmph–an entourage is just more people cutting into your “alone time” (which is precious to me). Happiness? Don’t hit me, but I can’t remember a time in my life that I didn’t feel happy and lucky and loved. My brother used to call me “The Happy Child”. The thing I envy in some people is the way they have of remaining calm and patient, and speaking softly, thoughtfully, and articulately at all times. It’s like they’re constantly looking out at the world from inside a cozy hut of Zen (either that, or they’re just always secretly stoned). I don’t know how else to describe it, but the personas of most of the therapists I know come to mind. In fact, I’m convinced that the reason I’d like to try therapy is just so that I can be in the presence of such a state of being. Maybe some of it could rub off on my spastic ass. ---
**Author:** ![Ego\_Mk2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Ego\_Mk2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ego_Mk2)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/25 "2003-04-23T17:54:23Z")
What an awful lot of people you are! **I** am the target of your envy. I have lots of money. I am smarter than you. I have a fantastically beautiful girlfriend, a stable family life, and a fast car. I have a Zen like disposition in nearly every situation. I like my job, and I am good at it, and it’s not very stressful and has regular, flexible hours. I also play many musical instruments and have some drawing/painting talent. I know what I want to do when I retire and have a plan to accomplish it (and I’m only 30.) I am in good health and work out regularly. If you must envy someone, envy **me**! Just say to yourself “Ego, I envy you.” You won’t hurt my feelings. \ \ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/26 "2003-04-23T19:26:10Z")
From your list: 1 (both the thinner and the more attractive) 2 (but not very much) and 4 (which naturally ties to) 7. I wouldn’t say “higher paying job” but I do envy those people who have found personal fulfillment in their jobs (no matter what kind of money they make). Or have found personal fulfillment somewhere else, for that matter. I envy people who aren’t shy. I desperately envy people to whom relationships come so easily that they can treat them casually and carelessly. (Not that I would want to do that - but it kills me when I see people throwing away what I’m dying to have.) I don’t envy people who I perceive as morally better (nicer, more thoughtful, generous, etc.). They make me want to be like them and emulate them - they inspire me to envy less rather than more. Perhaps I should hang around them more - after looking at this list, I’ve got problems. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/27 "2003-04-23T19:39:16Z")
Hmmm, I guess there are a few things that I’m envious of after all. As **Creaky** mentioned, healthier people. I’m healthy now, but it’s been a long road getting there. Some people do whatever they want and it never affects them. **Anahita** , your post really hit home! My parents were wonderful people according to others, but they had no business trying to raise kids. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/28 "2003-04-23T20:09:58Z")
I envy the people who can eat/drink what they want and remain thin. Other than that, I pretty much like my life. ---
**Author:** ![guava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/71e660/32.png) [@guava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guava)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/29 "2003-04-23T21:19:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scr4 \* > \*\*Nothing in the OP makes me envioius. I envy people who: > > - Are good at asking questions > - Are good at making friends > - Have better self discipline than I do > - Have stable jobs that they really enjoy > - Have a better idea of their place in this world \*\* Very strange. I couldn’t have said it better myself. ---
**Author:** ![Payne\_N.Diaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Payne\_N.Diaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payne_N.Diaz)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/30 "2003-04-24T01:40:49Z")
**guava** and **scr4** , my thoughts exactly. I envy people who have what I wish I had, but will never get, which is pretty much everything on your list. ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/31 "2003-04-24T01:49:07Z")
I am envious of those prettier than me, those whose lives seem easier than mine, and those who seem to get what I want out of life with very little effort. I am most envious of the girl who has the affections of the boy I’m in love with, who also is prettier , and has an easier life than I do. My skin is turning a _striking_ shade of pea-green right about now. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/32 "2003-04-24T01:57:29Z")
From the OP… maybe #2, #4, and #6. As for the other things I’m envcious of: People who can make friends very easily, and strike up a conversation with almost anyone. (I don’t often do that, preferring to stick with the people I know already) People who seem to have it all… and never seem to crush under what I thihk would be enormous pressure. People whose families and parents are very much inclined to be nice and sweet toward them naturally… also, if they genuinely get along with family, and are not just making a sham appearance at it. (kinda ties into #6 from the OP) F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/33 "2003-04-24T02:42:45Z")
I’m really not saying this to wisecrack in this thread, but reading it has made me realize that, while I’ve got no shortage of flaws in my life, there isn’t anybody I can think of whom I envy. Hmmm? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/34 "2003-04-24T03:15:53Z")
1.) More attractive - No 2.) Smarter - No 3.) Higher Paying Job - No 4.) Born into money - YES! I’ve only recently become bitter about this. I grew up poor and it never really bothered me. I didn’t have everything I _wanted_, but there was always a roof over my head, food in my tummy and clothes on my back, even though none of the aforementioned were ever particularly fabulous. These days I look around and see these chumps who are in their teens and 20s and have never worked in their lives wearing Gucci and driving Benzes, I can’t help but to be a little annoyed and bitter about how unfair life is. I know I shouldn’t call them chumps since it’s not really their fault, but still. GRRRR! 5.) More Popular - No. Hell is other people. Strangely enough, a lot of people like me. I’ll be damned if I can figure out why. 6.) A perfect sit-com type family - No. I enjoy the dysfunction. 7.) Cooler toys - When I was a kiddo, yeah, but no so much anymore. I guess I’m just not the jealous type. ---
**Author:** ![Mariemarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Mariemarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mariemarie)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/35 "2003-04-24T03:34:03Z")
I envy people who do a lot more fun things, like play in a band or ride motorcycles. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/36 "2003-04-24T04:00:54Z")
I envy people who have friends they can talk to and who they trust. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/37 "2003-04-24T04:02:50Z")
I am envious of people with money. It wasn’t that bad until I started this painting job. Today I worked in a MANSION! (okay, compared to my one bedroom apartment, it was a mansion) There were all these nice things…things I’ll never have, arranged in ways I could never think to arrange them. Everything was so perfect and clean. One man lived in this huge house. I am sad and disappointed in myself for feeling this way, especially so strongly. I chose to live the way I do. Doesn’t help the envy though. ---
**Author:** ![Cooler\_of\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@Cooler\_of\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cooler_of_Death)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/38 "2003-04-24T04:10:50Z")
I envy no one. Well, except people with normal screen names that can be taken seriously. I envy that. But just a little. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/39 "2003-04-24T04:15:00Z")
**Cooler of Death** But thats a cool screen name, link to the thread tho, then put it in your sig… ---
**Author:** ![Cooler\_of\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@Cooler\_of\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cooler_of_Death)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513/40 "2003-04-24T04:27:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tony Montana \* > \*\ ***Cooler of Death** > > But thats a cool screen name, link to the thread tho, then put it in your sig… \*\* You mean… like this? Sometimes I think it’s funny to let people wonder, though… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-makes-you-envious-of-others/170513.md?page=3)