# What message is being sent **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 1, 2019, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311 "2019-05-01T09:47:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DaveRaver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daveraver/32/1078_2.png) [@DaveRaver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaveRaver)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/21 "2019-05-01T20:44:43Z")
“Olive you”? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/22 "2019-05-01T21:18:30Z")
> [@LiveFree](#): > > This one is probably better. It’s not. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/23 "2019-05-01T21:19:17Z")
I got it, but if she’s so judgmental that you had to back off, why do you want to reconnect with her? ---
**Author:** ![LiveFree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@LiveFree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveFree)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/24 "2019-05-01T21:59:56Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I got it, but if she’s so judgmental that you had to back off, why do you want to reconnect with her? You’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t be, but I go back and forth. I feel bad for her. She’s not a happy person, but she does have the ability to be a good person. I’m a sucker for unhappy people and trying to help them. It’ll never go back to the friendship that we had, but also don’t want her to feel as though I dislike her. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/25 "2019-05-01T23:38:14Z")
Assuming you are both experienced adults-skip the subtle images. You wouldn’t put such things in a business message, don’t try to be cute here. If the relationship starts up again, then it is time for imagery and such. That said, cute is always an ice-breaker. Say what you need to say and sign the message with a pic of a cute puppy. Everyone loves puppies. As for the olive wreath-I got it but just shook my head. It isn’t going to work. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/26 "2019-05-02T01:56:45Z")
I mean, I got right away that it was supposed to be an olive branch, but that’s only because you said to look for the message. Had I just seen the image with no context it would just look like a stock flowery birthday image. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/27 "2019-05-02T02:10:37Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > I mean, I got right away that it was supposed to be an olive branch, but that’s only because you said to look for the message. Had I just seen the image with no context it would just look like a stock flowery birthday image. That’s exactly right. I voted “no” but really I did understand the message. But that’s only because I knew to look. There is no way in hell I would look at that and think there was hidden meaning if I didn’t know there was hidden meaning. I would’ve skimmed over the branches and thought that they were only a border. ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/28 "2019-05-02T02:44:43Z")
Another vote for too subtle. I got it, but I got it with the context spelled out. If I just received that on its own, I’d go “hmm, pretty” and think it was nice of you to send me a happy birthday text and think nothing else of it. It wouldn’t even cross my mind that it’s supposed to be a symbolic message. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/29 "2019-05-02T02:51:44Z")
I see it, but if you hadn’t specifically said, “By the picture, wondering how many people will see the message I’m sending,” I doubt if I would. Better try something with doves. Or just freakin’ say, “I miss you.” ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/30 "2019-05-02T02:53:18Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > I see it, but if you hadn’t specifically said, “By the picture, wondering how many people will see the message I’m sending,” I doubt if I would. > > Better try something with doves. Or just freakin’ say, “I miss you.” Or if it is an olive branch, “I’m sorry.” ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/31 "2019-05-02T05:19:12Z")
While pictures may be worth a thousand words, sometimes the words are necessary for clarity. I like **enipla** ’s suggestion. > [@](#): > > ‘I miss our friendship’ ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/32 "2019-05-02T05:52:28Z")
> [@LiveFree](#): > > I’m a sucker for unhappy people and trying to help them. It’ll never go back to the friendship that we had, but also don’t want her to feel as though I dislike her. If that is all that you hope to achieve any birthday card will do that. Even ones without olive branches. No-one sends a card to someone they dislike. Personally, I am amazed that anyone thinks the olive branch is a sensible motif for birthday cards. Obviously, I am in the minority as people are designing them. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/33 "2019-05-02T07:16:47Z")
I agree that you need a card with an olive branch, not a wreath, and I’d expressly refer to extending the olive branch in a note in the card. Whether you decide on wreath or branch, you decide on, think about what your goal is in sending this card. She has the _potential_ to be a good person, but is she a good person _to you_? Do you truly want a friendship with her, or do you just want there to be no hard feelings on her end? ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/34 "2019-05-02T07:29:52Z")
> [@LiveFree](#): > > I’m a sucker for unhappy people and trying to help them. It’ll never go back to the friendship that we had, but also don’t want her to feel as though I dislike her. Too much drama for me, anymore. Just sending a greeting is already extending an olive branch. No need to be cute. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/35 "2019-05-02T10:51:28Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I got it, but if she’s so judgmental that you had to back off, why do you want to reconnect with her? I’m guessing she’s the [Musco family heiress.](https://www.olives.com/musco/company.html) ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/36 "2019-05-02T11:52:57Z")
> [@LiveFree](#): > > You’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t be, but I go back and forth. I feel bad for her. She’s not a happy person, but she does have the ability to be a good person. > > I’m a sucker for unhappy people and trying to help them. It’ll never go back to the friendship that we had, but also don’t want her to feel as though I dislike her. You’re doomed. Believe my experience. Apart from that, I didn’t get the message until others hinted at it in the thread. ETA : she’s very probably suffering less than you imagine from you having interrupted your relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311/37 "2019-05-02T19:54:26Z")
As I have told my wife on many occasions, if you’re going to deliver a hint to me do it with a sledgehammer. I would take your message as “Happy Birthday message, picture not related in any way to birthday, meh, thanks, on with life”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-message-is-being-sent/833311.md?page=1)