# What Missionaries Have You Gotten **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 6, 2010, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899 "2010-02-06T04:04:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![chicken\_wire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@chicken\_wire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chicken_wire)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/21 "2010-02-06T13:13:00Z")
We had JW’s almost exclusively at my parent’s place. The people across the road were JW’s, so they didn’t have far to go. My current place, no evangelising at all, so far. I’ve seen Mormons on the street, in pairs. I’ve been buttonholed and chatted with 'em, it’d be rude not to, considering how far the bastards come to try and save us. They don’t seem to come to the door though. I take the position that they’re all doing it more for their own benefit than mine. They don’t really expect to sign anyone up, they’re doing it to cover their own arses when they meet their maker. They can honestly say they tried, but we wouldn’t listen. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/22 "2010-02-06T14:49:30Z")
JW and LDS missionaries. I keep waiting for scientologists or zoroastrians to make their presence felt locally, but it’s not yet happened. Years ago, the Bahais ran an informational ad about their religion in the local paper (the same paper that ran a (nonironic) poem lamenting the fact that Jesus wasn’t getting enough attention at the 4th of July celebrations) but that resulted in about 10 ads condemning that particular faith, and other non-christian faiths in general. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/23 "2010-02-06T15:46:23Z")
I used to get Jehovah’s Witnesses when I lived alone in Texas. Eventually (like, after the first time), I figured out that anyone who knocked on my front door was likely a missionary or a door-to-door salesman, so I stopped answering that door. We get Mormons here from time to time. They’re not obnoxious (mostly), and once, while Airman was deployed, they helped me carry some bags from the car to the porch. I felt bad that I had nothing non-caffeinated to offer them, because it was hot. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/24 "2010-02-06T15:47:55Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Not since I was a kid, no. Either I’m sleeping in, or I’m awake and grumbling that I have to get up early and get some stuff done, be it work or chores or shopping or whatever. I vastly prefer sleeping in. Anyway, last time I checked, there was nothing worth watching on Saturday morning TV…OK, I just checked this morning’s listings. Bunch of crap on, nothing worth watching. > > Anyway. I have only gotten Christian proselytizers ringing my doorbell. There’s a Baptist church on the corner, and I’m two houses down. We used to get people from that church all the time, until I went down and made a scene in front of the preacher and made legal threats. Just curious but were they Southern Baptist or Independent Baptist? ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/25 "2010-02-06T15:49:01Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > I used to get Jehovah’s Witnesses when I lived alone in Texas. Eventually (like, after the first time), I figured out that anyone who knocked on my front door was likely a missionary or a door-to-door salesman, so I stopped answering that door. > > We get Mormons here from time to time. They’re not obnoxious (mostly), and once, while Airman was deployed, they helped me carry some bags from the car to the porch. I felt bad that I had nothing non-caffeinated to offer them, because it was hot. Cold iced water? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/26 "2010-02-06T15:50:39Z")
I didn’t have any bottled water on hand, and it didn’t occur to me to offer tap water. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/27 "2010-02-06T16:26:41Z")
I get Mabel King with the enormous flower-festooned hat and Easter dress accompanied by her (I presume) husband who is usually dressed [like this](http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/farrakhanalt.jpg). I have no idea what brand of religion they’re selling because I don’t answer the door. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/28 "2010-02-06T16:57:46Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > They don’t show up as often as when I was a kid, but in order of frequency… > > Jehovah’s Witnesses (the ones with The Watchtower) > Mormons > Baptists > and once or twice, the United Pentecostals (Oneness) following up as I had visited their church. > > Over the years, I have been approched at a state fair, an airport, and downtown Hollywood by Hare Krishnas. BTW when I was in Hollywood we parked our car nearby a Scientologist building, saw a man picketing a parade carrying a sign something like “Repent your sins”, and my uncle was handed some tracts by a black lady-I think the tracts were by the Tony Alamo Cult. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/29 "2010-02-06T17:10:52Z")
> [@TheChileanBlob](#): > > Mormons had a missionary’s apartment in my complex in my early twenties. (The young guys doing their mandatory service.) I lived with my female roommate and my infant daughter. When I was at work one day and roommate was babysitting, they knocked on our door, and when she answered, they turned pale and stammered “Uh, sorry! Wrong house!” I don’t know what that was about, unless maybe they thought we were a lesbian couple. I can shed some light on that for you. Mormon missionaries are assigned to “districts” of 6-8 companionships each. One of the missionaries is assigned as the district leader, and he and his companion will occasionally call on the other missionaries in the district to work with them, get reports, etc. The ones who knocked on your door were probably not the ones who lived in your complex, but were other missionaries who were coming to visit with them and got the wrong apartment. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/30 "2010-02-06T17:13:14Z")
We got Mormons once, when I was in high school. Coincidentally, I already knew them. One of my best friends, and several of my not-quite-as-close friends were Mormon, and I was curious about their religion. I asked my very good friend about her beliefs, and she told me it would be best if I spoke to the missionaries, because they were trained to answer questions and she wasn’t. So I ended up doing “the discussions”, a series of six meetings with the missionaries, in which they told me about the LDS faith; this is essentially what they want you to do when they show up at your door, btw. It was quite interesting, they were really nice, and they didn’t seem upset that I showed no interest in converting. (I had been clear the entire time that I just wanted to know more about my friends’ beliefs.) When they showed up at my parents’ door (all of our meetings had taken place at another friend’s house, and they didn’t know where I lived), we had a good laugh. I’ve run into LDS missionaries just standing around stopping people to chat on both my undergrad and grad school campuses a few times, and telling them I’ve already done the discussions and am not interested is a pretty good way to get them to leave me alone. Never had Jehovah’s Witnesses. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/31 "2010-02-06T17:31:15Z")
I get tracks stuck in the storm door every couple of weeks, and I was getting things in the mail from a JW for a while. Oh, and I used to get someone who left Bible verse voicemails. I never knew what that was all about. My parents had the JWs all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/32 "2010-02-06T17:31:17Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > Just curious but were they Southern Baptist or Independent Baptist? More than likely Southern Baptist. Some time ago, the church became a Hispanic Baptist church, not English speaking, though I’m sure that there are some services that are performed in English too. The sign has changed to having Spanish language information first, and biggest, and English language info second and smaller. There are several services each Sunday, apparently, or one long service, and there’s activity on Wednesday evenings as well. Occasionally they hold other activities. I did actually set foot in this place during the last local election…it was my polling place, and while I’m an atheist, I do vote pretty often. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/33 "2010-02-06T22:49:43Z")
I’ve gotten both JWs and Mormons at my current place. They were both polite when I told them I was not interested. I once got visited by JWs while I was a Mormon missionary. I was home sick from proselyting and not in my work clothes when they knocked on the door. It’s a common missionary fantasy about what you’d say to the competition but in the event I just told them no. I think I still had to take a copy of The Watchtower, though. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/34 "2010-02-06T23:03:24Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I’ve only ever gotten the Jehovah’s Witnesses. It’s always well-dressed middle aged black ladies you can’t bear to be rude to. (This is not an invitation to any Mormons out there!) Whenever I see them out on a hot day, I try to buy them a bottle of water, engage them in conversation for a little bit, and, as I leave, offer them a blessing from Madelyn Murray O’Hair. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/35 "2010-02-06T23:39:36Z")
I’ve gotten the JW’s and the Mormons. The visit from the Mormons was horribly embarrassing because one of my boyfriends was with me and he started swearing like a parrot as soon as he saw them. When I was a kid there was a group called “I Found It.” I’m not sure which church it was affiliated with but it seemed to be some offshoot of the Jesus Freak movements of the late 70’s. They would go door to door and I remember one confronting my father and saying “You’re not interested in Jesus, eh?” I guess we weren’t, since my father is an agnostic and I founded my own religion, which holds that the world is controlled by a large, malevolent space alien who is slowly torturing the entire human race to death…but that’s another story. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/36 "2010-02-06T23:50:47Z")
We used to get Jehovah’s Witnesses from time to time, but in past years I haven’t seen them anymore. Never had any other kind. I never had a problem with it. A simple “We’re happy with our current practice, have a nice day” always got rid of them. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/37 "2010-02-06T23:58:33Z")
Just JWs. I was impressed at their tenacity, because our driveway is almost a mile long , has an elevation gain of ~150 feet, and they walked up in the middle of summer. It was right after we’d moved into town, and I suspect it had something to do with my grandmother, who is a JW and usually\* not pushy towards us. \*I did make the mistake of discussing _East of Eden_ with her once, though. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2010, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/38 "2010-02-06T23:59:49Z")
Mostly the JW’s, but I had some Baptists showing up for a while until I got them trained better. ---
**Author:** ![Kansas\_Beekeeper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kansas\_Beekeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kansas_Beekeeper)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/39 "2010-02-07T03:13:06Z")
A few JW and LDS every year. A former JW acquaintance of mine told me that the magic words to make JWs go away quickly is to say, “I’m a disfellowshipped Witness.” According to this person, JWs are not permitted to talk to outcasts, even to proselytize. I’ve never had a problem with any of them, however. They have all been polite and taken a simple “no thank you” quite well. I suggest they keep their literature and give it to someone who will make better use for it than I. They have all seemed to appreciate that statement. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899/40 "2010-02-07T03:56:17Z")
Some nice Mormon boys helped us move a large entertainment center into our condo. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-missionaries-have-you-gotten/527899.md?page=3)