# What moron pays $695 for a Laser Comb **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 12, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709 "2003-03-12T01:35:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/1 "2003-03-12T01:35:41Z")
OMG! Do people actually pay money for the [HairMax Laser Comb](http://www.hairmax.com/home.htm) I thought it was a joke when I heard about it. But they’re selling it for $695. I’m either shocked or jealous I didn’t think of it first. ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/2 "2003-03-12T01:53:50Z")
$695 for a freaking laser comb? Idiots. I got mine for $500 off EBay. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/3 "2003-03-12T03:03:53Z")
This part of the web site gave me pause: > [@](#): > > The LaserComb bathes your hair root with a nourishing light and is designed to energize your hair. > > Light is energy. Living cells “like” light and your hair is no different. The most common example of light converting into chemical energy is photosynthesis, where plants are fed via light converted into chemical energy. - Photosynthesis? \* Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ! I’m no doctor but it makes me think of those ads in the Victorian era for the Electric Hairbrush (a hairbrush through which electricity had been passed in the factory) that was guaranteed to re-grow hair, along with curing miagraine and hysteria. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/4 "2003-03-12T03:19:47Z")
It’s a ripoff,a psuedo-scientific breakthrough. The best way to get healthier hair is to take (in safe,proper dosages) vitamin supplements. I recommend a once a day multi-vitamin. My hair is thick,long and lustrous because I take one daily. Ok,and because of a good genetic heritage too. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/5 "2003-03-12T05:11:51Z")
Now, if only sharks had hair to stick this comb into. ---
**Author:** ![Antimanics](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71c47a/32.png) [@Antimanics](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antimanics)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/6 "2003-03-12T06:40:48Z")
I wish I had a laser comb. It sounds like a good ice breaker. “Hi, I’m Antimanics. I comb my hair with a laser because I’m that awesome.” ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/7 "2003-03-12T14:23:08Z")
Why can’t _I_ think of stuff like this. I want some of that Idiot money these people are cashing in on. _grumblegrumblestickalaserpointerinacombandchargetherubes$650foritgrumblegrumble_ ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/8 "2003-03-12T14:32:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lissa \* > \*\* > > - Photosynthesis? \* Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ! I’m no doctor but it makes me think of those ads in the Victorian era for the Electric Hairbrush (a hairbrush through which electricity had been passed in the factory) that was guaranteed to re-grow hair, along with curing miagraine and hysteria. \*\* Didn’t they also believe that masturbation would cure hysteria? Hmm… what exactly will this comb do for me? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/9 "2003-03-12T14:42:33Z")
Ummm, so our hair likes light?? So then how does a brief comb-thru with this laser compare to sitting under fluorescent lights in an office all day or spending the afternoon frolicking in the sun without a hat? Do people who work outdoors have better hair than those who work indoors? What about the hair on my legs? I wear jeans most of the time so my legs don’t get much light - does that mean my leg hairs are suffering? Maybe someone needs to invent a laser booth - then we can just stand in it all naked and let the beneficial light nourish all of our hairs… There you go, **particlewill** , I give you that invention idea free and clear! ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/10 "2003-03-12T15:08:20Z")
Thanks, **FCM** , but I think I’ll pass. I can just see the lawsuits from those blinded by the laser booth. Of course I _could_ just line the thing with red LEDs. And I could sell the “Laser Booth Protective Goggles[sub]TM [/sub]” as an additional purchase. Hmm… I just had an idea for a laser “massage wand” for extra stimulation! I wonder what other every-day items I could jack up the price for by adding a laser pointer. To the Lab! ---
**Author:** ![a\_night\_in\_the\_box](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@a\_night\_in\_the\_box](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a_night_in_the_box)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/11 "2003-03-12T15:11:26Z")
I didn’t know lasers even had hair!!! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/12 "2003-03-12T15:37:08Z")
I feel sure that any day now, laser research will result in a cure for left-handedness. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/13 "2003-03-12T15:44:09Z")
You think that’s silly? I saw an ad for a “fung shui hairstylist.” “Your chi is unbalanced—just let me take a _little_ off the right side!” ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/14 "2003-03-12T15:55:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*I feel sure that any day now, laser research will result in a cure for left-handedness. \*\* Hold your horses! I just started! So far I have a laser guided fork, a laser back scratcher, a laser shoehorn, laser can opener, and a laser wallet. I am currently working on laser Meatloaf, but I am not sure how to tape the laser to the meatloaf. The duct tape I had been using so far was no good. I may have to go with a rubber band. My wife thinks I am insane, but the cats seem to think that I am a genius. ---
**Author:** ![grayhairedmomma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/47e85d/32.png) [@grayhairedmomma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grayhairedmomma)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/15 "2003-03-12T16:09:40Z")
> [@](#): > > So far I have a laser guided fork… Actually, **particlewill** , you could probably sell this to first time parents as a tool to help teach their kids how to use utensils. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/16 "2003-03-12T16:17:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Light is energy. Living cells “like” light and your hair is no different Hair is _dead_ cells. ---
**Author:** ![wireless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f14d63/32.png) [@wireless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wireless)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/17 "2003-03-12T16:17:53Z")
I thought lasers were used for hair _removal_. Guess the hair really likes that light when it gets _vaporized_. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/18 "2003-03-12T18:42:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rosebud \* > \*\*Didn’t they also believe that masturbation would cure hysteria? Hmm… what exactly will this comb do for me? > > 😉 \*\* Only for women, if correctly preformed by a doctor. It helped cure “wandering womb” which the reason why a woman would be unhappy or stressed. The womb decided to go for a walk around inside the body causing all sorts of unpleasant results. Wife crying because she’s stuck in the house all day with crying children? Her womb must be AWOL again. Send her to the doctor, who will first stick his fingers in her vagina to find out how far the womb has strayed, and then “coax” it to come home. For males, masturbation had HORRIBLE results. Doctors confidently reported that most of the inmates of insane assylums were there because they had masturbated to the point of insanity. Loss of sperm in an improper manner sapped a man’s mental and physical strength, and could lead to convuslions, drooling, criminal acts and deformed children. Special penis rings with spikes were issued to discourage erections, and mothers were urged to tie their son’s hands to the bed to keep them from naughty touching. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/19 "2003-03-12T18:54:49Z")
That explains my sudden laser fixation… I now have a laser sock monkey, and a laser telephone. ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709/20 "2003-03-12T19:39:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by particlewill \* > **…I am currently working on laser Meatloaf, but I am not sure how to tape the laser to the meatloaf. The duct tape I had been using so far was no good. I may have to go with a rubber band…** I’d suggest making sure the laser pointer was waterproof. Meatloaf seems to sweat alot. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-moron-pays-695-for-a-laser-comb/160709.md?page=2)