# What movie would you recast... with Muppets? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 24, 2004, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423 "2004-11-24T05:25:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![malkabat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@malkabat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkabat)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/61 "2004-11-24T18:06:34Z")
**Jesus Christ Superfrog** Kermit - Jesus Miss Piggy - Mary Magdalene Fozzie - Judas Scooter - Simon Zealotes Gonzo - King Herod Oscar - Pontius Pilate Statler & Waldorf - Caiaphas & Annas It simply cries out for it. Piggy singing “I Don’t Know How to Love Him”…and of course this deathless lyric: “I wash my hands of your demolition! Die if you want to, you innocent Mup-pet!” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/62 "2004-11-24T18:08:31Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Luca Brazzi could be the muppet who does the Amazing Juggling Fish act. [Lew Zealand](http://www.starburstcards.com/KarlswebNewscape/images/ActionFigures/LewZealand.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/63 "2004-11-24T18:23:47Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > How about The Silence Of The Muppets? > > Piggy as Clarice of course. > > Animal as Multiple Miggs. “I slash wrist! Look At Blood! Look At Blood!” > > Sam the Eagle as Lechter? Or as Jack Crawford? > > The Swedish Chef as Buffalo Bill. “It poot de lotion on de skin.” 1. No no no. Piggy should be Catherine Martin. Janice would make a better Clarice. 2. Nice choice. 3. Sam should be Jack Crawford. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew should be Hannibal Lecter. 4. That just made my day. And right when I was chewing on a cookie, too. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/64 "2004-11-24T18:30:52Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > The Swedish Chef as Buffalo Bill. “It poot de lotion on de skin.” “…or else eet gets de hose ageen. Dee dee dee. BORK BORK BORK!” ---
**Author:** ![davmilasav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@davmilasav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davmilasav)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/65 "2004-11-24T19:10:16Z")
**A Hard day’s Muppet** John\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_Oscar Paul\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_Grover George\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_Beaker Ringo\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_Gonzo Norm\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_Bert Shake\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_Ernie Paul’s Grandfather\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_Cookie Monster Lady in Hallway\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_Piggy TV Director\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_Sam Eagle ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/66 "2004-11-24T19:10:46Z")
**Psycho** Missy Piggy obviously plays Janet Leigh’s role. For those who think Kermit would be the wrong choice for Norman Bates, think about the final scene, where the fly lands on Norman/Mother and picture Kermit thinking… “Why he wouldn’t even hurt a fly. That’s what they’ll say. He wouldn’t even hurt a fly. SLURP!” ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/67 "2004-11-24T19:33:50Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > I don’t have any good ideas for a movie, but I insist that all such movies have a cameo by the Angel puppet from the Buffy spinoff Angel tv show. [sub]Yay![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/68 "2004-11-24T19:50:35Z")
I suddenly have a vision of the Muppets version of _Seven_, with Elmo kneeling in front of Kermit, who is gesticulating wildly and shouting “WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!?!” ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/69 "2004-11-24T19:54:25Z")
_ **Muppets** _ Ellen Ripley … Miss Piggy (“Get away from her you BITCH!”) Cpl. Dwayne Hicks … Kermit (“I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”) Rebecca ‘Newt’ Jorden … Robin (“My mommy always said there were no monsters - no real ones - but there are.”) Bishop … Sam the Eagle ("I prefer the term ‘Artificial Person’ myself. ") Carter Burke … Fozzie Bear (“was a bad call, Ripley, it was a bad call.”) Pvt. Hudson … Animal (“Game over, man, game over!”) Lt. Gorman … Scooter (“Thirty eight… simulated.”) Pvt. Vasquez … Janice (“You always were an asshole, Gorman.”) Sgt. Apone … Ralph the Dog (“Alright, sweethearts, you heard the man and you know the drill! Assholes and elbows!”) Yeah, this was worth popping my head in for. 😉 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/70 "2004-11-24T19:55:44Z")
> [@malkabat](#): > > “I wash my hands of your demolition! > Die if you want to, you innocent Mup-pet!” BRILLIANT! Esprix ---
**Author:** ![CuriousCanuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@CuriousCanuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CuriousCanuck)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/71 "2004-11-24T19:58:27Z")
Kermit the Frog as George Malley in… Phenomenon Do doo be-do-do Phenomenon Do do-do do Phenomenon Do doo be-do-do be-do-do be-do-do be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do! ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/72 "2004-11-24T20:38:08Z")
**Sampiro** - as someone who has watched _The Godfather_ an indecent number of times (and has a cat called Enzo The Baker), that was just brilliant. Brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/73 "2004-11-24T20:48:04Z")
From earlier in the threat: > [@MrJones](#): > > How about _Blue Muppet,_ The muppet remake of David Lynch’s Blue Velvet. Kermit would play the Kyle McLaughlin part. Fozzie would play Frank Booth. Classic. . . [fozziehopper]“Don’t you f\*\*kin’ look at me! Wacka wacka wacka!”[/fozziehopper] ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/74 "2004-11-25T02:39:31Z")
**Full Metal Muppet** Sam The Eagle as D.I. Hartman. Hearing him doing R. Lee Ermy cracks me up. “You are nothing but grabastic pieces of amphibian shit!” Kermit as Joker I was thinking of Animal playing Animal Mother but it would be better to hear him as Private Pyle saying, “I. In. World of. Shit!” That leaves Sweetums to play Animal Mother. Scooter as Cowboy Piggy could promise to love you long time. Rolf as the door gunner. “Ain’t war hell!” ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/75 "2004-11-25T04:13:23Z")
Fatal Attraction Miss Piggy:“Kermie, I will NOT be IGNORED! I’l tell your wife!” Kermit grabbs her by the throat and pins her to the wall, Saying: “Call my wife…and I’ll _barbecue_ you.” ---
**Author:** ![LordVor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@LordVor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordVor)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/76 "2004-11-25T04:27:54Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Animal best represents Butch’s pent-up rage… I mean, c’mon. Just seeing him go, “Where watch? Where watch?” and then throwing a fit when Fabianne doesn’t have it would. fucking. rock. Also the scene where Animal finds the samurai sword in the pawn shop… Hee! OMG Yes! And the Swedish Chef has to play Jimmy > [@](#): > > "Vhee yuoo ceme-a poolleeng in here-a, deed yuoo see-a a seegn oooot in frunt ooff my huoose-a thet seeed “Deed Neegger Sturege-a?” -lv ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/77 "2004-11-25T17:16:03Z")
> [@Esprix](#): > > _ **Muppets** _ > Rebecca ‘Newt’ Jorden … Robin (“My mommy always said there were no monsters - no real ones - but there are.”) No - Rosita. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/78 "2004-11-26T05:43:18Z")
I think _Muppet Fiction_ is my favorite so far. But I’d cast Rowlff in the Marcellus role, just so whoever plays Jules could yell “ **Does Rowlff _look_ like a bitch?** ” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/79 "2004-11-26T05:56:11Z")
_Behind the Fuzzy Green Door_ - You just _know_ Oscar has a secret life as a porn star… _I Am Curious…Big Bird_ ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423/80 "2004-11-26T11:40:35Z")
The Quiet Frog, with Kermit in the John Wayne role and Piggy in the Maureen O’Hara role. Elderly Irish lady: Here’s a stick to beat the lovely lady with! Piggy (activate Pig-Fu Freakout): AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII-YAAAAA!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-movie-would-you-recast-with-muppets/276423.md?page=5)